inquiryguqin: cupcake_graphics @ dw (199)
Lan Wangji (蓝忘机) ([personal profile] inquiryguqin) wrote in [community profile] funnyhearts 2020-09-25 04:28 am (UTC)

It's a good thing he has spoken everything he needs to say because he has no more words to speak. He remains silent as he watches him turn his back on him, to leave him alone to cry. Each time he cries, it stings, and as much he wanted to rush toward him to comfort him, he knew what he did isn't okay, isn't fine. It's a betrayal of his trust.

He would have told him sooner, but he waited for him to get better. To be strong and be ready to receive it. Yet, he worried he revealed it in such a delicate state and a few days before their wedding. He risked for whatever outcome because he rather not hide anything from him, and tell him the truth, and waits on his decision.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's something I don't want to do. You don't have to forgive me." A million negative thoughts of emotions rushed through his mind. That he was being compared to the other Lan Zhan again, the same way the other Wei Yings compared to him, and trying to figure out their bond and their love. He wanted to bite his lips until it bleeds, to punch his fists into trees to get hurt and bleed because his love for them is so strong that his life matters little.

But he has no energy to do so. He just sat, listened, and have him lashed out at him. He nearly grits his teeth when he learns he kissed the other on the cheek, though he expected something deeper. It doesn't matter, it's the same to him. "It's too late for that. The upset and hurt are already done. Your soul-twin, he already knew and he was hurt." As he has seen the jealousy and hurt from the other Wei Wuxian, and how much he has needs unmet and unspoken.

He sat still, frozen in his place, not sure if he could just hug him when he's the one who caused him pain and tears. "I did not forget about you. I never did. Not at all. You're not a replacement. I was grieving because no one can replace you. What if you're gone forever? If you die again and don't come back, I will have no choice but to fight my way out of this place, and I am capable of revenge. I will kill those who hurt you. I won't be the same man that you remember me if this place will take you away from me again and again. The next time if you die, I won't forgive them."

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