"You still view him too kindly. There was nothing more we could have done because he held on to even the smallest slights and he saw slights where there were none. No matter how much we loved him, he couldn't love us back, not real love. He was given more love than many receive but he couldn't even see it through his vitriol," Huaisang says his voice rough and it pains him because as much as he hates Meng Yao he still loves him. He had trusted him with his life, with his brother's life more importantly.

"What happened to Wei Wuxian is not the same as what happened with him. He did truly do what he needed to survive but Meng Yao had choices. He chose to become a monster with no good intentions, driven by selfishness and grievances."

He stares at the other's thumb as it moved over his hand and Xichen had always been calm at calming him just as he had been good at calming his brother. His breath shudders again at the thought.

"I loved him as I did da ge and it didn't matter one bit to him. None of us were enough. And no matter how we change our world people like that will always exist. They're born broken no matter what status they are given."