funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 002

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TEST DRIVE MEME 002

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

You haven't been at the hotel long when you run into another Oyster. Hardly unusual for the hotel, after all. But there's something about this person, something that draws you in. Do you know them? Perhaps they're from your world, perhaps you've seen them around the hotel before, or perhaps you've never met at all?

No matter. Hopefully you enjoy this person's company, because suddenly you're unable to go more than a few feet away from each other. Maybe it's like a cord that snaps you both back together when you try, invisible but somehow there all the same. Maybe it's a feeling, a desire to stay together, a fear of being apart. Maybe it's physical pain when you're separated, and the sensation of comfort or pleasure when you're together. Maybe it's any combination of the above.

Whatever it is, looks like you'll be getting to know each other very well. The connection doesn't appear to be going away any time soon.

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

It seems the hotel is a little short-handed at the moment. Why? Oh, no particular reason. These things happen to every establishment, of course. But since you're here, would you mind lending a hand? It's a two person job, and the staff member giving out assignments is just far too busy to help. Find a partner and report to your assigned area! They're preparing for something very exciting the Queen is putting on for guests. And of course, you'll be rewarded for your assistance.

There are a number of possible tasks that you could be assigned to.

Perhaps you'll be asked to assist with food preparation. You and your partner will be granted temporary access to the back area of the buffet to work with the kitchen staff — you can cook, can't you? Well. Perhaps you can put together some sandwiches. It will soon be clear that the food you're helping to prepare is all things that would be perfect for a picnic. Staff members will cheerfully inform anyone asking questions that the food is for the Queen's special surprise.

Or perhaps you'll be put to work sorting and cataloging a large inventory of items. Sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, toiletries, first aid kits, fire starting materials; all must be counted and sorted. A staff member will hand out a number of backpacks, and request that each be packed with one of every item. Not to worry about the size — each pack will have exactly enough room to store all the items.

Still others may be placed in a room lined with bookcases overflowing with books and loose leaf pamphlets. Examination of these will find that all are related to identifying native Wonderland plant life. Some are about edible plants, some discuss those that are medicinal, or poisonous, or likely to try to eat you should you get too close. Buried in all of that, you may even stumble across a particular poem. You will be given heavy card paper, pens and water colors, and tasked with condensing the information into portable, easy to read info packets.

At the end of the work shift, anyone who assists will have the expressed gratitude of the staff members they supported. They will also find an additional item from home, aside from what they were carrying with them, waiting for them in their room.

III. TIME TO UNWIND

What better way to unwind after a long day of work than with a massage? A staff member will hand you a token for the hotel spa. Yes, yes, all services are free, but this is an enhanced service. Premium massage oils, access to a relaxing tea, the devoted attention of the most skilled massage therapist, all for you.

When you arrive to take advantage of the offer, you'll find another Oyster waiting there as well. Did the staff member not mention it was a couple's massage? Oh dear, it must have slipped their mind. Or perhaps they just assumed, given how so many of you Oysters seem to be in pairs. Well, you're both here, you might as well take advantage of it.

Or perhaps something that gets the heart pumping is more to your speed than relaxation. A staff member may excitedly tell you about a rave occurring at the The Rabbit Hole nightclub. Invitation only, of course, but the staff member is happy to tell you the code to get in.

There is indeed a party in full swing at the club that night. Live music, flashing lights, alcohol flowing freely, the works. You may find that the alcohol packs more of a punch than you're used to. You may even find that drinks that are supposed to be nonalcoholic, ones that you've had before in other parts of the hotel, suddenly pack quite a punch as well.

It's all in the name of enjoying yourself, right? Hopefully you won't be too hungover in the morning.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

For purposes of the TDM, you're welcome to play with having more than one linked partner! If you choose to app in the next round after playing on the TDM, there will be an extra add on to the application for you to claim your additional item from home. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He pulls the other man to the door, down the hall and towards his room. The reason he knows where the paper and brushes are, is because he has already been there and got to play with them. The watercolors were especially fun to use. But then he stops at his door and immediately lays his head against it.

"I can't get in.." Because his key along with everything else he owns is inside. Because bunnies don't have pockets.

Lan Wangji looks at him and then wonders, "how did you close the door when you left?"

And how were they going to get back in? "Does the other Wangji have a key?" Otherwise, they're going to have to ask the staff for another one, and that's going to be a problem. Lan Wangji doesn't trust them at all.

Thats...not going to be an answer that Lan Wangji is going to like to hear. He gives kind of a sheepish grin as he reaches up to rub the side of his nose. "Since I needed to be normal size to get out the door, I just made sure the hall was empty before coming out. And..I was naked so then once the door was shut I changed into a rabbit and it locked behind me."

At the time he thought he was being clever. The lack of a key didn't cross his mind until much later. "Ah..he does! He had to go get one when I was injured. You said I couldn't walk on the ankle so I wasn't sure how to get to the door. So he went and got a new key."

"We will just have to find him first and get a key." He doesn't want to rely on the staff. And where is Lan Wangji? Probably upstairs meditating, if he had a guess.

But then, "can you ask on the device with the hearts?" He means the teatime app, but like he actually paid attention to any of that.

"Ah..well..You can. Or you can go to the other thing that says 'inbox'. I think that works too." He's currently staring at the door. He wonders if he can figure out something that could be small enough..

He snaps his fingers as he gets an idea. "What if I change into a small bug or a lizard or something that can go under the door!" It would have to be really small. He hasn't tried to be anything smaller then a rabbit and he would have to make sure he didn't get crushed in some way..or lose control and end up trying to get big while under the door.

Lan Wangji looks at him like it's rather risky. "Can you?" Only he can answer that definitively. "Try it, and don't go in." Lan Wangji will just monitor a dry run, see if he can handle even just staying like a small enough creature with enough time to go under.

He doesn't want to lose Wei Ying to this nonsense, either.

He kneels down and looks at the crack beneath the door. He runs his finger along it to see just how big of a creature he could get away with. It's not a very large crack but perhaps something that can squish it's body a little would be able to maneuver it.

He stands back up. "Make sure you don't step on me, Lan Zhan." He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he tries to visualize what he needs to do. And in that moment the clothes fall to the ground in a pile, burying the little lizard Wei Wuxian beneath them.

A tiny squeaky voice comes from under the pile, "One of these days I'm going to figure out clothing.."

Lan Wangji lifts some of the clothes, so that Wei Ying can see where he is going.

Oh, he's such a cute little lizard. So small, so sweet.

Lan Wangji gives him a little pat on the head with his index finger, because there isn't much else to him. He's never seen such a tiny lizard. He could make a mansion inside a teacup.

"Good?" he asks.

The little head bobs as his finger pats it. Talk about an odd sensation. But then he tilts his head up to look at the man that is now..very terrifying large. The world is a much more intimidating place for a creature this small.

"I think I'll be okay. Lizards are fast right? I just need to scoot under the door as fast as I can and then make myself big again."

Sounds like an easy enough plan. Much easier then trying to track down the other Lan Wangji.

If he insists. Lan Wangji will be right here if something goes wrong. "Try running around first." He doesn't want to take any chances. Not with Wei Ying.

And he has no concept of how large he looks in the moment, but he was pretty unnerved that one time he'd shrunk to about half his height and come up to Xichen's waist.

So he can only imagine.

Wei Wuxian starts to scoot around Lan wangji's feet, circling them with his little tail wagging back and forth as he moves. Then he moves to the door frame and manages to figure out how to climb up it until he is eye level with the other man.

"I can climb too!" It's like he has sticky things on his feet to grip with. It's actually pretty easy to get used to this body besides the face he is running around on all fours.

"You can climb around later when the door is open," he says, firmly. But his little tail wag... why is it so adorable. Lan Wangji doesn't know what to do with himself, honestly. What on Earth is this place turning him into?

He'll be here and wait.

He scurries back down and immediately tries the door. He flattens as small as he can get and those sticky feet pull him under the door. It's a tight squeeze still but that body somehow manages to make it to the other side. Once free of the door frame, he transforms back into his normal body. His back lands hard against the door as he gets used to two feet again and the fact that staying that small actually takes a pretty significant amount of effort and energy.

"Ha..made it."

"Don't forget your key," reminds Lan Wangji from outside the door. He figures that he won't be let in today, but that he'll wait here while Wei Ying gets dressed.

He is definitely going to have to send his sheets to laundry later.

He moves away from the door and grabs some pants pulling them on before going back to the door. Whats the point in a shirt when he's just going to end up without it if he changes again? Which is the plan, given Lan Wangji has already told him he would carry him. He opens the door to let the other man in.

"Key and empathy. I think..it's around here somewhere." Wherever they are, they are likely together. But that isn't the only thing he needs inside the room that he needs to grab.

"The brush," he adds. He needs the brush. And the paper. He's just going to let Wei Ying fuss around, staying very still at the entrance because they're about to leave. What's the use in taking a seat?

"They are probably by your clothes," he tries, helpfully.

"AH the brush is in the place with the books. I have something else to show you! But it's because of the brush." He finds his missing items in his pants that were abandoned when he originally changed into the bunny in his bathroom. He holds them up victoriously then goes to where a piece of paper is laying.

He stuffs them in his pocket and pulls up the water color painting he made. "I painted this for you." He brings it over and holds it out with a bright smile. "Remember when we were discussing the letters and you told me I couldn't draw rabbits for anyone else. I had to learn how to draw monkeys to put on the letters. So..I painted you my first one."

The watercolor is an image of a monkey sitting in a tree, pretty little red flowers around him and one in his hand. He knows he doesn't actually have to draw monkeys on the notes, but he still felt the need to paint pictures for both Lan Wangji's.

Lan Wangji takes the picture and... oh. It's beautiful. He drew it in one of the plum trees that dot the Cloud Recesses, flowering bright red in the wintertime.

He'd looked out at those, all winter long, every petal flying by on the wind reminding him of an old hair ribbon.

He looks at the drawing, at the monkey who is carefree, possibly thinking about stealing fruits, a little bit of a mischievous character, and he smiles. "It's beautiful."

He holds onto it, very carefully.

"Take good care of it, Lan Zhan. It's my first gift to you and it's one of a kind."

He makes sure he has everything he needs this time, checking his pockets for the empathy. He pulls it out for a moment and checks to make sure he doesn't have any other messages, smiling at the heart he remembers watching Lan Wangji send while he was a rabbit.

"Should we take it back to your room before I take you to the paper?"

He nods. "I don't want anything bad to happen to it."

Which means he'll press it underneath something heavy when he gets back to his room, and keep it in good condition for decades to come.

He is pleased with that and heads out into the hallway. "Should I paint you a bunny picture to match it? I can draw him in the snow beneath the tree with little petals all around him like the monkey is showering him in them."

He's already painting it in his mind, arranging it in such a way that the two photos could be laid out above each other.

He almost wants to ask if Wei Ying is supposed to be the monkey or if Lan Wangji is. "Only if you wish."

But it would be quite a sweet pair of drawings. He will have to find a way to put them on his wall, maybe get a few from both Wei Ying to hang up and remind him of them all the time.

When they get up to his rooms, he gently smooths out the page, and places it right on the table.

"If it makes you happy, Lan Zhan then I'm happy to do it." He's happy to make the set, not caring which of them is the monkey. Though at the moment, Wei Wuxian can change into one.

He looks up at Lan Wangji as he gently latches onto his sleeve with two fingers. He would cover the whole room in drawings if it would make him happy.

He feels soft, in this moment, a precious one allowed by Wei Ying and his generous gifts and sweet demeanor.

With his hand, he brushes the back of Wei Ying's fingers, and softly caresses the back of his wrist. "Are you ready to go?" he asks.

He nods, "Mm..I'm ready. We need to go down to the lobby to get to it. I think you will like it in there." Another room that has suddenly been opened up to them. Full of books and supplies. He's pretty sure painting pictures of monkeys was not what the hotel intended when they opened it up, but Wei Wuxian has no interest in drawing plants for whatever the hotel needs them for.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

III. TIME TO UNWIND

IV. WELCOME HOME

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