TEST DRIVE MEME 002

[happyheartsstaff]

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

You haven't been at the hotel long when you run into another Oyster. Hardly unusual for the hotel, after all. But there's something about this person, something that draws you in. Do you know them? Perhaps they're from your world, perhaps you've seen them around the hotel before, or perhaps you've never met at all?

No matter. Hopefully you enjoy this person's company, because suddenly you're unable to go more than a few feet away from each other. Maybe it's like a cord that snaps you both back together when you try, invisible but somehow there all the same. Maybe it's a feeling, a desire to stay together, a fear of being apart. Maybe it's physical pain when you're separated, and the sensation of comfort or pleasure when you're together. Maybe it's any combination of the above.

Whatever it is, looks like you'll be getting to know each other very well. The connection doesn't appear to be going away any time soon.

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

It seems the hotel is a little short-handed at the moment. Why? Oh, no particular reason. These things happen to every establishment, of course. But since you're here, would you mind lending a hand? It's a two person job, and the staff member giving out assignments is just far too busy to help. Find a partner and report to your assigned area! They're preparing for something very exciting the Queen is putting on for guests. And of course, you'll be rewarded for your assistance.

There are a number of possible tasks that you could be assigned to.

Perhaps you'll be asked to assist with food preparation. You and your partner will be granted temporary access to the back area of the buffet to work with the kitchen staff — you can cook, can't you? Well. Perhaps you can put together some sandwiches. It will soon be clear that the food you're helping to prepare is all things that would be perfect for a picnic. Staff members will cheerfully inform anyone asking questions that the food is for the Queen's special surprise.

Or perhaps you'll be put to work sorting and cataloging a large inventory of items. Sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, toiletries, first aid kits, fire starting materials; all must be counted and sorted. A staff member will hand out a number of backpacks, and request that each be packed with one of every item. Not to worry about the size — each pack will have exactly enough room to store all the items.

Still others may be placed in a room lined with bookcases overflowing with books and loose leaf pamphlets. Examination of these will find that all are related to identifying native Wonderland plant life. Some are about edible plants, some discuss those that are medicinal, or poisonous, or likely to try to eat you should you get too close. Buried in all of that, you may even stumble across a particular poem. You will be given heavy card paper, pens and water colors, and tasked with condensing the information into portable, easy to read info packets.

At the end of the work shift, anyone who assists will have the expressed gratitude of the staff members they supported. They will also find an additional item from home, aside from what they were carrying with them, waiting for them in their room.

III. TIME TO UNWIND

What better way to unwind after a long day of work than with a massage? A staff member will hand you a token for the hotel spa. Yes, yes, all services are free, but this is an enhanced service. Premium massage oils, access to a relaxing tea, the devoted attention of the most skilled massage therapist, all for you.

When you arrive to take advantage of the offer, you'll find another Oyster waiting there as well. Did the staff member not mention it was a couple's massage? Oh dear, it must have slipped their mind. Or perhaps they just assumed, given how so many of you Oysters seem to be in pairs. Well, you're both here, you might as well take advantage of it.

Or perhaps something that gets the heart pumping is more to your speed than relaxation. A staff member may excitedly tell you about a rave occurring at the The Rabbit Hole nightclub. Invitation only, of course, but the staff member is happy to tell you the code to get in.

There is indeed a party in full swing at the club that night. Live music, flashing lights, alcohol flowing freely, the works. You may find that the alcohol packs more of a punch than you're used to. You may even find that drinks that are supposed to be nonalcoholic, ones that you've had before in other parts of the hotel, suddenly pack quite a punch as well.

It's all in the name of enjoying yourself, right? Hopefully you won't be too hungover in the morning.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

For purposes of the TDM, you're welcome to play with having more than one linked partner! If you choose to app in the next round after playing on the TDM, there will be an extra add on to the application for you to claim your additional item from home. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

© tessisamess

Comments

[blessmefather]

[ Interesting. He'll have to ask others, find out what the concensus is. ]

I'm surprised this place is understaffed. I thought they were normally packed. Maybe a large group of people have the day off?

[lunchbreaks]

Hmm... perhaps. Or maybe they're having a staff retreat. That could be what we're packing for.

[ He frowns so hard it's almost audible how upset he is about the idea of not getting to go outside. ]

[blessmefather]

[ Thinking about the staff taking time off brings another question to mind. ]

Has anyone asked the staff where they live? Whether they're live-in or if they leave for homes somewhere else.

[lunchbreaks]

No, but I'm sure they won't tell you. They like to do that.

One time the places all started moving and they insisted it was always like that. And one time I became small, and they insisted I was always small!

[blessmefather]

[ Bad memory? Brain washing effort? Lips sealed for fear of punishment? An existance revolving entirely around the job? ]

Not sure a staff like that would get a retreat.

[ CoughEvilBoss ]

[lunchbreaks]

Well, the only other explanation is that they want to take us out there. And... well, I don't know why they would!

[ Because that's starting to sound like, getting kicked out softly and then getting executed. Has he been around humans too long? ]

[blessmefather]

[ Yeah, Matt is stumped too. He shakes his head. ]

It's anyone's guess.

[ They could sit and guess all day long and get nowhere. ]

Is this the first time they've asked their guests for help? Or does the staff end up needing help like this often?

[lunchbreaks]

No. It's been a few months, and they've never requested anything like this before.

[ He doesn't tell Matt that it might be because there were staff cuts due to the oysters poking around where they shouldn't be. But if anyone thought that these people would just sit still and let themselves get kidnapped...

He sweats a bit nervously, but moves on. ]

Suppose it's just whatever the Queen wants.

[blessmefather]

[ He picks up on Aziraphale sweating over the subject. Interesting. But he has doubts it's safe to discuss sitting where the staff would normally be. Best not to complain about the boss in the office.

Matt nods in acknowledgement then offers a smile. ]

So! Are you a fan of camping? I don't have much experience, I've spent almost every day of my life in the city.

[lunchbreaks]

Oh, no. Absolutely not. The closest I get to camping is a holiday house out by the beach.

I've lived in London for a long time now.

[ Like, since before the Crusades... Yeah. He's not going to drop that on Matt though.

But he is going to ask: ]

What about you? Are you from America? Canada?

tw: vague mention of childhood abuse, thanks Stick

[blessmefather]

[ That explains the accent and he's guessing his own warranted those suggestions. Matt nods. ]

New York City. Warehouse or office by the beach is more likely for me. I only ever went camping when I was a kid.

[ Not with his father either. It wasn't for vacation, it was Stick's excuse to train where they wouldn't be seen hands-on dropped-in-the-wilderness-survival-style. He thought he was going to freeze to death more than once and got knocked for muttering Hakuna Mattata when the topic of eating bugs came up for reasons. ]

In my experience, who you bring with you makes all the difference. Doesn't hurt to be packed well though.

[ He shrugs and chuckles at his own joke. ]

[lunchbreaks]

Ah, well, I'm afraid I won't be of much help, but I think probably everyone else will be! I would consider the others much higher in camping skill.

[ He doesn't actually know, but he's warranting a guess considering many of them are ancient or you know, served in the Air Force or something. ]

Quite odd they've chosen us to do this, when we're such city folk, hmm?

[blessmefather]

[ Matt huffs out a little laugh then purses his lips. ]

Hmm. Either they didn't bring us to the hotel to do this or they think stuffing camping bags is easy enough for us city folk to figure out.

[lunchbreaks]

What's worse is if they expect us to go out there and be able to set up camp!

[ Imagine Aziraphale, actually camping.

He'd really rather not. ]

And without shoes!

[blessmefather]

[ Matt frowns at the idea. Frostbite begging to happen. ]

Do you think they wear shoes outside? Maybe that's why we don't have them. Some kind of cultural thing.

[lunchbreaks]

In a hotel? Surely not. At the very least, they should give us socks or house slippers! It's odd to be... completely barefoot!

[blessmefather]

What about the staff? Do they wear anything on their feet in the hotel?

[lunchbreaks]

Come to think of it, yes. They do have shoes...

[blessmefather]

Staff can wear shoes but the honorary guests cannot?

[ Matt cocks a brow. ]

Not even something to warm our feet. Right. Will I get in trouble if I put something on my feet? I have to wonder how strict the footwear rules are- I do get cold toes sometimes.

[ Are there loopholes perhaps? ]

[lunchbreaks]

Cold toes? Oh, that won't do. Perhaps we could get you some scarves to wrap around your feet?

I really don't mind.

[ Shoes weren't always a thing anyway, and he's an angel. It's harder to get hurt. ]

[blessmefather]

[ Matt normally wouldn't fuss about how cold his feet are. But then again he'd normally be able to go home and slip on some soft socks. Anything that tells them more about their captors might be helpful. ]

That's a great idea! Scarves aren't meant for feet but they're permitted.

[ Classic loophole logic. Putting scarves on his feet doesn't make them socks. What now, mysterious captors? ]

[lunchbreaks]

Yes! I'll get you a scarf right away.

[ Definitely rude to leave Matt so disadvantaged. What if he accidentally trips over something? He should definitely have shoes! ]

[blessmefather]

Oh!

[ Right this instant? ]

Uh. Okay! Maybe I should go with you.

[ Matt grabs both the bags they had just filled and shoves them in the pile with the others ready to go. He feels around for his cane on the tabletop and rushes to unfold it and follow after Aziraphale. ]

I think some scarves would work better than others.

[lunchbreaks]

I think wool, perhaps, would be the best. It's thick, and has a little texture to it. But if we can't find a wool scarf...

[ He thinks that some of this acrylic nonsense will have to do. He helps Matt get to the boutique, and looks for a scarf that he thinks might be the toughest. ]

How do you feel about red?

[ He's not sure Matt has opinions about color but he'll ask anyway in case he does! ]

[blessmefather]

[ Matt follows, laughing softly over Aziraphale's urgency and determination.

Wool would be thicker and stand up to more abuse than other materials. It might be lumpy and uneven, and would normally be terribly rough to his skin, but he'll try it. Honestly, he's more interested in seeing what happens when he covers his feet than coming up with a long lasting sock subsitute. If he gets away with it then he'll worry about the details.

Matt nods, smiling at the suggestion of red and purposely adjusting his glasses to draw attention to the lenses he knows are a dark red color. ]

Sure! I've been told it's a good color for me.