funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 002

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

You haven't been at the hotel long when you run into another Oyster. Hardly unusual for the hotel, after all. But there's something about this person, something that draws you in. Do you know them? Perhaps they're from your world, perhaps you've seen them around the hotel before, or perhaps you've never met at all?

No matter. Hopefully you enjoy this person's company, because suddenly you're unable to go more than a few feet away from each other. Maybe it's like a cord that snaps you both back together when you try, invisible but somehow there all the same. Maybe it's a feeling, a desire to stay together, a fear of being apart. Maybe it's physical pain when you're separated, and the sensation of comfort or pleasure when you're together. Maybe it's any combination of the above.

Whatever it is, looks like you'll be getting to know each other very well. The connection doesn't appear to be going away any time soon.

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

It seems the hotel is a little short-handed at the moment. Why? Oh, no particular reason. These things happen to every establishment, of course. But since you're here, would you mind lending a hand? It's a two person job, and the staff member giving out assignments is just far too busy to help. Find a partner and report to your assigned area! They're preparing for something very exciting the Queen is putting on for guests. And of course, you'll be rewarded for your assistance.

There are a number of possible tasks that you could be assigned to.

Perhaps you'll be asked to assist with food preparation. You and your partner will be granted temporary access to the back area of the buffet to work with the kitchen staff — you can cook, can't you? Well. Perhaps you can put together some sandwiches. It will soon be clear that the food you're helping to prepare is all things that would be perfect for a picnic. Staff members will cheerfully inform anyone asking questions that the food is for the Queen's special surprise.

Or perhaps you'll be put to work sorting and cataloging a large inventory of items. Sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, toiletries, first aid kits, fire starting materials; all must be counted and sorted. A staff member will hand out a number of backpacks, and request that each be packed with one of every item. Not to worry about the size — each pack will have exactly enough room to store all the items.

Still others may be placed in a room lined with bookcases overflowing with books and loose leaf pamphlets. Examination of these will find that all are related to identifying native Wonderland plant life. Some are about edible plants, some discuss those that are medicinal, or poisonous, or likely to try to eat you should you get too close. Buried in all of that, you may even stumble across a particular poem. You will be given heavy card paper, pens and water colors, and tasked with condensing the information into portable, easy to read info packets.

At the end of the work shift, anyone who assists will have the expressed gratitude of the staff members they supported. They will also find an additional item from home, aside from what they were carrying with them, waiting for them in their room.

III. TIME TO UNWIND

What better way to unwind after a long day of work than with a massage? A staff member will hand you a token for the hotel spa. Yes, yes, all services are free, but this is an enhanced service. Premium massage oils, access to a relaxing tea, the devoted attention of the most skilled massage therapist, all for you.

When you arrive to take advantage of the offer, you'll find another Oyster waiting there as well. Did the staff member not mention it was a couple's massage? Oh dear, it must have slipped their mind. Or perhaps they just assumed, given how so many of you Oysters seem to be in pairs. Well, you're both here, you might as well take advantage of it.

Or perhaps something that gets the heart pumping is more to your speed than relaxation. A staff member may excitedly tell you about a rave occurring at the The Rabbit Hole nightclub. Invitation only, of course, but the staff member is happy to tell you the code to get in.

There is indeed a party in full swing at the club that night. Live music, flashing lights, alcohol flowing freely, the works. You may find that the alcohol packs more of a punch than you're used to. You may even find that drinks that are supposed to be nonalcoholic, ones that you've had before in other parts of the hotel, suddenly pack quite a punch as well.

It's all in the name of enjoying yourself, right? Hopefully you won't be too hungover in the morning.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

For purposes of the TDM, you're welcome to play with having more than one linked partner! If you choose to app in the next round after playing on the TDM, there will be an extra add on to the application for you to claim your additional item from home. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Suppose we could... ask the queen?" he says, dubiously. Because.

When has the queen ever listened to anything they've said and granted their requests? Yeah, never. "The staff are a little... not... exactly... forthcoming."

So.

Aziraphale starts pacing quite nervously. "Really didn't think-- perhaps... maybe if you bump into me again?"

"What?"

That sounded...well, he hadn't done it on purpose before, he wasn't looking to run into anyone, on purpose or otherwise. Then again, what other options did they have?

"I...guess? I'll give it a try."

He felt monumentally ridiculous as he moved to mirror Aziraphale's pacing, but walked in the opposite direction. The first time they passed, Jet missed in his attempt not to bump him too hard and mumbled a 'sorry.' On the second pass, he bumped his shoulder to Aziraphale's, though probably a little harder than he'd meant. Still, hopefully it would undo their little problem.

"Okay, I'll start walking away, let me know if you feel anything."

He should feel it too, but just in case suddenly only one of them did.

As soon as Jet starts walking away, Aziraphale falls forward and has to brace himself on the wall.

"O--oh, oh no! No, that won't work!" he exclaims, panicked, trying to catch his breath. "Oh, goodness, sorry, usually-- usually not so used to this sort of thing."

Like, having a body with internal body parts.

"Really quite something, isn't it? Right. We are just going to have to-- to march downstairs and tell them to fix this."

Jet turned immediately, concern and frustration laced together even as the stab of discomfort faded. As he got closer, he felt the question that had been drifting at the back of his mind finally find purchase. What Jet felt was, at the most, discomfort. For Aziraphale it seemed to feel a lot worse and he was maybe beginning to get why. If anything about this made any measure of sense, anyway.

"Not...used to what, exactly? Pain?"

"Ah, yes, usually... you know, my body is. Very tolerant of pain!" he responds, not wanting to go too much into it.

The angel's never even had so much as a sniffle before so you can imagine how awful this feels.

Or, maybe Jet can't, but Aziraphale is definitely being a big baby about the whole thing.

"Right..." The way he draws it out reeks of sarcasm and skepticism.

"Usually is the key word I'm picking up here. What about right now? Have you actually had any injuries since you got here?"

How else did you build up pain tolerance other than getting injured at every possible turn? He barely even flinched when he cut himself with a knife these days.

Ah. No. He doesn't really seek out getting injured, and Crowley for the most part injures himself in a bid to keep the angel safe.

"N-- no. Well, almost, but someone dove to catch me before my fall."

So no, Jet, he's a soft marshmallow of a man-shaped being, please be kind! The worst thing that's happened to him is this!

Well, that's not a bad thing, he's just jaded.

"Uh-huh. No offense, but my guess is that it's not that bad, but feels worse cause you're not used to it. Not that it's not still a problem, but I bet you don't actually need this." He put his hand near Aziraphale's wrist that had the kit.

"I know you're freaking out a little, but it's okay. I won't go anywhere 'till we figure this out and, before you say anything, it's not a bother so don't freak out about that either."

"I--" he starts, and then frowns as Jet stops him and pouts a bit. "Alright, fine. But. Let's just go and get this settled quickly, hm? My-- my roommate will be wondering where I am, soon."

Does Jet feel what Aziraphale is feeling? Because he might get a little teeny spike of affection when he says the words 'my roommate'.

Maybe just. A tiny bit.

He nods, though there is a stirring, whether it's a shared feeling or intuition, he couldn't say and it has him nodding towards Aziraphale's room before they turned to leave.

"This roommate of yours sounds like someone close. Same friend you mentioned before? Crowley?"

"Ah, yes. I... suppose you can say that." And then there's some feelings of trying to bury that all down, panic, shame, alert.

"Well, we've been friends for so long, you know! Hard not to be... close." He's rambling, he's going to ramble, maybe he can change the subject. "And you and your-- your friends, have you known each other a long time?"

Smooth.

Those definitely weren't intuition feelings, but they bled into his own very briefly as his thoughts switched to his team.

"Yeah...decades. Some of 'em longer." His thoughts drifted briefly to Francoise, Ivan, and Albert and that feeling of shame and panic felt a little too familiar. He shook it from his mind. Better to not think too hard about people who weren't even here.

"We used to be close, before I-" messed it all up. "We spent a lot of time apart. It's good you've got someone you care about here." He kept his gaze averted, his small smile edging into self-depreciating. "I'm the last guy to give any sort of advice on friendships or anything...else like it, but hold onto that. Especially now."

He nods, acknowledging this. "The two of us, we've been through a lot," he says, thinking it through. "And very recently, I think, we sort of chose to... cut ties with our families," he admits. It's true. It wasn't really to be together, it was to save the Earth. But getting to be together was a nice perk.

"We'll get you back, Jet," he says, as a promise. "And you can see your friends again. Try to repair what once was."

He gives him a smile, soft eyes. "It's never too late."

TEST DRIVE MEME 002

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

III. TIME TO UNWIND

IV. WELCOME HOME

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