funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ah..well..We found the other piece near the lobby. I don't think the person who wrote them would put it inside any of the little shops. If they want to make sure it ends up where only guests will find it..perhaps the gym or the pool would be options."

Xie Lian pauses in his eating as he considers all of the options in the hotel. There is just so many places that something like that could be hidden.

"I thought we had already checked the pool. Is there another one nearby?" he asks, curiously. It was odd to have so many outdoor items in an indoor space, but he supposes that if they can't have anything physically outdoors...

"Well there are technically two pools. One inside the training area and the big one at the end of the hall. Not sure why a building needs so much indoor water." Or how they keep it clean. There is a lot of staff but there are certain places he has never encountered any.

"That seems excessive, don't you think? But we can check out both places. We have time."

It's not like Hua Cheng needs to sleep anyway.

They definitely have time considering the whole key of getting out of here might be in those notes. Xie Lian continues to eat, quickly filling up with barely making a dent in the selection of food that they have. He is going to have to do something about all of this...

"I believe they serve different purposes. But I'm not entirely sure what that is." He actually only checked out the one in the training room briefly and hasn't been in the big one at all.

"Perhaps one is a large public bath," he answers, because that seems less strange than having two places to swim. Who would even choose the one that is indoors?

There was, he had noticed, a very nice private bath in his quarters, and if one did not exist in Dianxia's, he was welcome to come to the baths modeled after the ones in the palace.

Considering his room is a very rundown little shrine he definitely doesn't have all the nice amenities that Hua Cheng has. But it does have an equally as modest little room to clean up in. Not that he would turn down Hua Cheng's offer if he should make it. He would simply say it was in the interest of seeing how the hotel was able to recreate so many things from their homes so well.

"Ah..perhaps..there are smaller warmer tubs in the same space as the big pool." It's not like something like that is completely unheard of but still doesn't seem quite right.

He looks at the food that is left, "I can't possibly eat anymore San Lang. We must take this food back so it doesn't go to waste." How many days is this going to take for him to eat??

"I will help," he says, eating so that gege doesn't have to eat leftovers. He wants to make sure that he can always fresh and succulent foods. He deserves only the best.

"After that, we will go to the pool."

He isn't stuffing his face exactly, but he sure is making a dent.

He watches as Hua Cheng starts to eat and he watches in astonishment. The man has always had a most impressive of appetites. But he thought that was simply because he was the only one who ever ate any of his cooking.

"Ahh..San Lang you don't have to force yourself to eat it all!" He resumes eating to try and make what is left a little less intimidating.

It's too late, gege, he's really set his mind on this. He has a bottomless pit anyway, and he really does actually enjoy gege's cooking. No one else does, because no one else can taste the love he puts into preparing the dishes.

"We will finish together."

Xie Lian is doing his best, pushing past his limit just a little so that Hua Cheng doesn't have such a burden of eating so much but eventually he just can't take any more. He sets the utensils down and picks up a glass of water to help wash the remaining food in his mouth down.

"Thank you San Lang...I really would have hated to see all this food go to waste."

He sees way too much of it go in the trash every day at the hotel and it takes every ounce of effort not to do something about it.

He knows, which is why he eats so much. He knows this is too much food for Xie Lian, and he feels a little sorry for over-indulging, but he can't help it. He loves to celebrate his Dianxia, and he loves to spoil him rotten now that he has the opportunity.

"But was it good?" he asks, because that's what he wants to know. Did he do well? Did Dianxia have a good time?

Xie Lian smiles at him, "It was all very good. I'm glad I could share such a grand meal with San Lang." Their lives as of late had been nothing but chaos and craziness. So to be able to settle down and take a moment, even if it is in this place, is a nice change.

He starts to stand up, "Should we continue our investigations?"

He nods as the waitstaff come to clear their tables. He would happily follow Xie Lian wherever he wishes to go, if only he accepts San Lang's company.

"To the pool, then?"

"It isn't a very far walk from here." And it has a strange scent but still burns Xie Lian's nose a little whenever he gets close to it. He doesn't spend a lot of time in it but he imagines that scent becomes more tolerable once one is used to it. When he asked the staff they told him it was to help keep the water clean.

He leads the way out of the restaurant, taking his time to thank the staff in the restaurant as they leave.

"If you see anything of interest on the way we can stop there first."

He nods and keeps a weather eye out, but only the one.

He doesn't see anything that catches his eye, but he's sure between the both of them, they would notice.

In fact, he smells the pool several meters before they get to it. "What is that?"

"The smell?" He smiles, knowing that Hua Cheng would have found it odd too. "Apparently they do something to the water to keep it clean. It's good that they take so much care but I'm not sure why it has such an odd odor."

It doesn't make him particularly eager to jump in, wondering if the smell will cling to anyone who does. Perhaps it is like a strange soap. But not one he would like to smell like.

"It doesn't smell very clean," he responds, wrinkling his nose a bit. It does bother him a little bit that he knows nothing, because he's used to knowing just about every goings-on.

"And they have a perfectly good, clean pool downstairs." He still doesn't understand this logic. "It's even wet on the floor here, I don't think it is a good place to leave notes."

He looks around, the air feeling heavy with moisture as well. "I believe you are right. I don't think the notes would last very long in this room."

Which means they are nearly out of options and no closer to an answer then they were before. "Perhaps if there was more notes, they have already been discovered by other people." Or worse yet..the staff.

"Perhaps there's a way we can ask the others," he offers. That way they won't have to interact with the staff, and maybe it would give Xie Lian a little peace of mind.

He hadn't meant to worry gege, and he hides it, but inside it breaks his heart.

He smiles a little and waves it off, "Perhaps. But it is alright. I worry if we ask too many questions then the staff might get knowledge of it. And it would be best for the note writer to have fewer people aware."

It just means he will have to wait and see what else might happen with the notes. Eventually things might become known.

"En," he agrees. But he still thinks they could devise a way to talk to people without the staff knowing too much. He'll workshop something.

"Maybe whoever is leaving them is still here," he says.

"If they are they won't admit to it with the staff around. It would be hard to find a place without any..besides our rooms." But if the person isn't a regular hotel guest it might also make it hard to find them.

"I wonder if the note writer is a native to this place.." Which would narrow down the search.

Yes, and that would make sense. They can't rule it out, in any case. "They will not interact with us. The natives."

It makes sense - they can't prove themselves as trustworthy, not yet.

He sighs, finding this to be a dead end is discouraging. But it simply means that they won't be able to find the answer on this day with this method. They are simply going to have to spend time on it and work out other ways to find out what they need, and find the note writer.

He looks up at the other man and smiles, 'Thank you for indulging me in this search San Lang."

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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