funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The change is just as quick and easy as before, straightening his robes a little as he rises to his feet. "My story is a long and complicated road. One not suited for discussion in a box." And not one most people would have the patience to listen to.

"I did a lot of things that went against some powerful people. Made choices that few agreed with. And many died because of them, not necessarily by my hand but dead just the same."

And he leaves it at that as the door opens and he steps out into the hallway. He reaches into his robes to look for his little key card. "I'll understand if even that little bit of knowledge is enough to not want to come with me."

He can't say that it surprised him that much. Usually people in power were the ones who dictate the appearances of those they dislike. This guy seemed like a good-hearted person that had his own rules, and that type always clashed with people who had different ideas in mind.

Scoffing, Wu Xie follows him. "History is written by the hands of those who either wish to deceive or those who have all the power. Rarely does anyone speak of those under them, those that tried something different and were beaten down because they were simply out-numbered or had the worse PR. We all have sins on our hearts."

"Oh..history definitely remembers me." And not for the best reasons. He pulls out his card and opens his door. He pushes it open and then holds it for the other man to follow him inside. His bedroom looks just like it did at Lotus Pier. Wood everywhere and a nice clean and fresh scent as if all the windows were open on a clear spring day. A low bed with carvings on the headboard at one end of the room. A table set up in the center meant for people to sit on the floor around, purple pillows set on each side. And on the other side of the room were more modern touches that wouldn't have existed during his time. An actual bathroom and a small area for making tea. Overall the room is much bigger then one would expect in a hotel like this.

"Make yourself comfortable."

"I never said it forgets, it only changes or exaggerates what those in charge feel are important."

This room was everything his was not. There was space and the clean scent of the country near a lake. Wu Xie would have removed his shoes if he actually had any on but still pauses a moment before politely thanking his host.

He takes a seat at the low table, Folding his hands politely and looks around him. Then takes a second look before chuckling and glancing up at the other man.

"Yunmeng? It looks like around the Spring and Autumn periods." He was about to get up and actually look closer at the design so help him they were so clean compared to the ones he normally sees. He resists the urge by shoving his hands in his pockets. "Maybe slightly later... sorry?"

He nearly trips as he is walking when the man mentions Yunmeng. He stares at him in surprise. Most of the people here don't seem to know anything about where he is from, let alone the when and yet this one picked up on it just form his room.

"A-ah..That's pretty good guessing." He settles at the table across from him. "I guess you're familiar with Yunmeng architecture." He is definitely impressed. Not that he's brought very many people to his room and maybe if he did there would be others that could nail it down like this man had. But some how that doesn't seem likely. He looks around the room as if he could figure out exactly what tipped him off.

"Aa..?" He looks back at the guy, his eyes wide like he was caught halfway in the deserts. Then he laughs, waving a hand and nodding towards the decorative motif on the headboard over the bed, the shape of the pillars arcing up to hold the bed curtain in place.

"I've seen that in a preserved piece from a Han manor from the area. It wasn't a lotus flower but the styling of the relief is about the same."

Clearing his throat Wu Xie holds out his hand, needing to remember his manners before he gets too far. Sure, he will talk about everything on his mind but it wasn't polite if he doesn't know any names.

"My apologies, I'm Wu Xie."

He stares at the hand and reaches out with his own to take it. It's a greeting he hasn't quite gotten used to but it is certainly easier then bowing. But once they are done with the shake, he will circle his arms so that he can bow with his own introduction.

"Wei Wuxian. No need to apologize. We've been occupied with other things."

He sits up straight and realizes he should probably act like an actual host. Not something he is used to either. "Would you like some tea?"

"Mysteries are always more important than names, right?"

So. That bow applied with the term cultivator, Wu Xie had an idea that while some things of this room look too familiar, it was still different enough. He might not even have the right dates on the design of the room, though from Wei Wuxian's reaction, it was still in that general area.

"It's nice to meet you, and if you please? I think all that candy made my throat dry."

"Right! And speaking of.." He pulls the green piece of paper out of his robes and lays it on the table.

Then he pushes himself back up to his feet to go and prepare the tea. "A word of advice about tea in this place..the tea in the bedrooms is safe. Any tea the staff offers you..stay away from it." He has had far too many bad experiences with the tea served in the casino.

"That's good to know," he says reaching for the note. He unfolds it and smooths it out, before taking out his own journal from his inner jacket pocket and set it next to the note. After a few moments of study, he flipped his journal open to a blank page and started to copy it.

"I take it that they put various drugs or other substances in them or uses them to contain us?"

He brings the tea over when it is ready and sets it down on the table. He settles back into his spot before pouring them both a cup. "This place is run on emotions. And so the teas served down there will do things that alter them. They will force you to feel happy or sad or angry. Some even will alter your body to make you smaller. They just aren't pleasant."

He leans on the table as he studies the paper. "Why would anyone hide a picture of a caterpillar?"

"So they want us to express emotions and then do what? Eat on them?" It would not be the first time he had heard of such impossible things. Wu Xie has spent years studying his grandfather's notes and then more years exploring the trail left behind by him. He knew of the strange creatures that inspired and used other's emotions, even had experienced it himself in tight enclosed places.

"Is there any indication that caterpillars are forbidden here? I've seen a lot of playing cards motifs with a heavy emphasis on hearts." He finishes copying the numbers down and the little note about calling a friend and sliding it over for Wei Wuxian to look at. "Also this looks like a phone number, so I wonder if it's someone who knows more about this place."

Edited 2020-07-28 06:09 (UTC)

"We aren't sure but they just seem to be gathering emotions..as if that is the energy that this world runs on. They aren't particularly forthcoming with information."

He picks up the note and studies it. "I've never even seen a caterpillar here so I guess it is possible. Why would anyone hate on a caterpillar? But maybe the friend we are supposed to call is one." If he can turn into a monkey or any other creature, then he certainly won't question it if there is a talking caterpillar around somewhere.

He pulls out his empathy and starts to input the numbers. Only way to find out..is to try it.

"If they're not telling, then they are hiding something."

He picks up his tea cup and takes a sip, watching as cultivator takes out his empathy and starts typing in numbers, wondering if it will work and how but not about to try it himself with out first making sure. He could attempt to use his cellphone but that might prove futile; who knows what bugs were placed on it since he came through the mirror. It was better to be safe than make a misstep in a new place after all.

"Oh, that's right, I was going to tell you a little about the book and my family, wasn't I?" Not the full truth, but, well, how many people would know what he was talking about here anyways?

"I'm from the Hangzhou Wu family, Fifth of the Changsha Old Nine. We're grave robbers."

"They are hiding a lot. This place has some dark secrets that no one seems to want to talk about." He's only uncovered some of it's more unsightly secrets but all that does is create a bunch more questions.

He looks up from his typing, "Grave robbers? That's a unique profession." He is well aware of such a thing. Of course it is also a dangerous one, depending on whose crypt they decide to disrupt. He thinks back to the time at the Nie family crypt and the bodies in the walls...

"I've never heard of a family of grave robbers before. And that book..is it the different things your grandfather encountered while robbing?"

"I've grown to distrust anything that calls itself a 'paradise' so that doesn't surprise me."

That's interesting. This kid was treating it like something not too disgusting or too cool. Wu Xie smiles lightly at that liking the novelty of the situation that puts him in. It's not like the circles Uncle Two traveled - they knew the family business and all it's ways, nor like those kids fresh from college wanting to become cool.

"It was that or dying. There was famine and war and grave robbing kept villages alive at the time." Not that the villages were considered good ones. He was well-aware about how much the families had suffered at the hands of the common people once living became stable for them. It wasn't always what was in the graves that were their strongest enemies.

"Everything he had encountered and everything he remembers from his grandfather's tales. It's a history and a treasure map."

"I don't think the grave robbers that are around where I am from are necessarily doing so to help anyone but themselves. It's interesting to hear how it could be used in different ways. What did your grandfather do when he met up with these monsters? How was he able to defeat them?" If he wasn't a cultivator, how did he fight the evil that he encountered?

He's not surprised that he would encounter dangerous things when robbing graves. Some could possibly be guardians of the graves, others perhaps created by the dead if they died unnaturally. It isn't that far off from the things he is used to dealing with. He just doesn't rob graves in the process. He isn't going to judge anyone for their choice of job considering the paths he has taken in his lifetime.

But he is curious

"I say 'villages' but it might have been just a large family group too." Wu Xie shrugged; he often didn't listen to that part of his Uncle Three's tales, wanting to hear more about the monsters and weird artifacts they guarded.

"What did he do? Fought them, or tricked them, or ran away. When he was a child, he ran from a blood zombie and was marked when that zombie ran over his back. The southern families tend towards trickery and force according to the northern families, while they relied on spiritual cleanliness and prayers. But if you ask me, we're all just a bunch of tricky bastards with no moral standards that are too hard-headed for honest living."

Wu Xie admits that he wasn't the best at the fighting but he was good at figuring things out to make up for his lack. That was why he'd never gone alone, especially once he met Fatty and Kylin. Kylin especially was the best person to have by his side; the older graverobber was better experienced and was hard to kill plus he knew how ti fight off creatures Wu Xie did not even have names for.

"Usually though, I just figure out weaknesses by how they act, and am very very lucky."

"These definitely sounds similar to cultivation methods from my world. For us when it comes to spirits and ghosts you are supposed to first try to save and send them on. And if that doesn't work then you destroy. Of course there were alternate methods that were considered taboo such as using them to fight." Of course he fell into that taboo group with his methods but doesn't really see any point in expanding upon that. He doesn't have any shame in the fact it is the path he took, but he knows not everyone sees it that way.

"Perhaps this is just how cultivation transformed over the years. From what we did changed into what you do."

"Ah, yeah, I suppose there is that," he replies taking a gulp of tea as he looks away. While he was not technically a grave robber - his actions were all towards saving and preserving the relics of the past and hopefully those buried with them - he left the spiritual stuff to those that actually knew what they were doing.

Which apparently was what this youth did in his world, but he had said earlier that he was a rule breaker. Did that mean Wei Wuxian did not actively laid spirits to rest when he could? No wait, taboo like making them work for a person, is that what he said. Wu Xie looked over his cup at him and then set it down slowly.

"Who knows? In a way, we are just making things up as we go along. I mean, my Uncle Three used a black donkey's right hoof to subdue zombies and I always wondered how anyone in their right mind figured that one out."

"Sometimes it takes someone not in their right mind. Or just one willing to think outside of the box the world has put them in." Like creating demonic cultivation..He has been hailed as it's creator and it took being consumed by resentful energy in order to figure out how to harness it. He was certainly going out of his mind in that place.

He could talk about any of his creations and when they were first made he was considered crazy. But years later people were using them in their normal cultivation methods. So perhaps it really does just take being a little bit crazy.

"I've honestly never heard of that method before so clearly your grandfather also likes to think outside that box. The best inventions are made because of that."

"I'm still wondering why he had one on him in the first place. I can understand shoving something into the mouth of a thing trying to bite you to keep it off for a minute so you can grab the dynamite but why that in the first place?"

Oh right. Wei Wuxian might not know what that is since he seems to come from an ancient setting. Wu Xie wasn't going to explain it right now but he could talk about some of his encounters and methods.

"I'm known to be rather good at coming up with ideas and figuring out solutions. They sometimes don't work right, but often it's just enough to turn the tides."

"Better to be prepared for anything and everything. Perhaps he had a different plan for that piece but when opportunity presented itself, it gave it a new purpose." He finds it rather amusing really. It's fun to be creative and do random things just to see what will work and what won't.

"That's often more useful in a situation then someone who can fight well. In a war, those with the best tactics will always win against those that just have brute strength." He prefers to be smart about situations himself, but that is also because physically he's no longer the strongest of cultivators. His body rather weak without a solid core. Even Mo Xuanyu's tiny one has been ripped from him in this place.

"I guess so. Gotta be ready for when a black donkey's hoof will come in handy!"

Personally he thought that his grandfather held on to it as a tool to help with his dogs. Those beasts listened to any of the Wu bloodline but they were also vicious dangerous creatures that could easily eat a man. They probably went through rawhide treats the same way a rat went through wood - easily.

"So I've told, but who knows. I never really been in a war."

Wu Xie wondered if he would go up in flames, telling such lies. Oh well, there were wars fought in proper ways and then there was what he went through a year or so ago.

Just as he was about to respond, there is a voice coming through the empathy. He forgot that he had been typing that number in until suddenly it is successful.

Some sort of recorded message asks, "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?"

He repeats this out loud and looks towards Wu Xie to see if he has an answer for the question.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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