funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ah, alright." He already has a backup plan anyway, since he doesn't think the boutique is going to have wedding robes for them and even so, it seems odd to him to be able to have them for nothing, as if anyone else can go in and get the same robes and be married the same way. He wants their wedding garments to be theirs and theirs alone, and have something truly special for his intended.

"--You do not think we should do that now, do you?" Wei Ying is drunk and they have enough papers to put together a rather racy art book. In fact, he won't admit it, but he'll definitely look at some of these later, to uh. Admire them.

"We can go in the morning," he suggests instead, perhaps after Wei Ying's sobered up and after a rather good bout of regularly-scheduled daily activities. It really was much easier in the hotel.

"Should we not?" he seems surprised, but then, he doesn't have the Lan's internal sense of time to tell him when respectable folks ought to be sleeping. It's not as if everything, from casino to restaurant, to poolside isn't open at all hours anyway, so Wei Wuxian doesn't exactly keep to the best of schedules when it comes to eating, sleeping, and whatever else he decides to occupy his days with.

"Is it that late?" he wrinkles his nose before glancing back down at Lan Zhan's painting, tracing the brushstrokes idly with his fingertip.

"Just one or two? I wanna see Lan Zhan all dressed in red."

"Ah, alright. We can go see if they are open." He mostly just doesn't want to go because Wei Ying is hammered, and probably won't make the best decisions when it comes to his wedding. But, it is his wedding, and the clothes are free. They don't have to make decisions.

He gets up and carefully takes up their stack of papers. "First, we should take these back upstairs." Who knows what would happen to them if they took them on their little shopping trip? No, he doesn't want any folds or creases, and they can place something heavy on the stacks so that the papers flatten out since they've wrinkled when wet.

He makes a triumphant noise, with little regard to any of the bar's other patrons, and is about to make a beeline for the shop when Lan Zhan mentions making a stop at their room beforehand. Ah. Right. It's a relief when Lan Zhan picks up the pile of artwork too, his hands much more careful (and sober).

"Ah... right, right, that's a good idea. Wouldn't want them to get damaged."

Time and growth has made for more casual touches between them, whether in public or not, and drink has only made Wei Wuxian all the more generous with his. He loops his arm through Lan Zhan's at the elbow, not drunk enough to be unable to walk a straight line, at least not with a bit of guidance. He pats Lan Wangji's bicep a couple times as they walk.

"...or for any uninvited eyes to see some of them," he laughs.

Being in Wonderland does have its perks, and walking side by side with Wei Ying like this is one of them. They didn't have to sneak furtive touches, or stand one person apart. Their touches weren't limited to carrying each other when weakened, to fighting back-to-back, to healing, to the occasional dog scare.

He looks forward to a life of being free to walk arm in arm with his husband, to do as he does now, and gently guide Wei Ying's head onto his shoulder. "Mn. No one else should see these but you and I." It isn't embarrassing to desire one's spouse, but it certainly might be a problem to distribute physical representations of one's desire.

It's quite an uneventful trip back to the room, and he gently places the stacked papers underneath a flat weight, his touch with them careful, extra delicate.

"All of them?" he laughs, "mm, I know, I know, the portrait you painted must be so handsome that you're worried anyone else who sees it will fall in love with my good looks too, right?"

The gentle encouragement to lean closer, and use Lan Wangji as his own personal pillow is met with enthusiasm, and while it makes walking a little wobbly, once he falls in step with Lan Zhan's footfalls, he doesn't mind it at all. This close, Lan Zhan's familiar scent, mingled with sandalwood is pleasant and inviting, and his fingers draw little mindless patterns along his arm as they walk.

He waits as Lan Zhan puts the drawings away, pressing them flat, and it's endearing how carefully he handles them, as if his afternoon spent painting and working out little illustrations is so precious to him. The gesture is more than enough to pull at his heartstrings, and as soon as Lan Zhan's fingers are free, he links them with his own, and tugs them in a wobbly fashion, toward the door.

"Even if someone else falls in love with you, you are already mine." He wants to make sure Wei Ying does not forget that he is taken, he's already been claimed. As Lan Wangji's heart has been for sixteen years now, soon Wei Ying's will be, too.

He presses his lips to Wei Ying's temple just the once as they make their way out, slowly, of course, careful not to let his husband-to-be teeter too much.

But eventually they make it to the boutique, and Lan Wangji requests them to pull out anything formal and red. Unsurprisingly, they do not have what Lan Wangji is looking for, but they do have plenty of nice dresses for them to try on...

"How could I want anyone else?" he smiles against the press of lips at his temple, "they'd have to fight us both."

At least it's a short trip to the shop, and he manages it with minimal wobbling. He's often thought the clothing here is strange, but usually, Wei Wuxian has been good at adapting, finding he rather liked some of the long skirts and comfortable loose tops, and it was just as easy to layer pieces here as back home. Whether or not that still fit with the fashions and aesthetics of the people here was anyone's guess, but he had to wear things aside from the set of clothing he'd come in with!

The dresses were an interesting mix too. In all sorts of lengths and styles, some with embroidery, some without. Some made of copious amounts of fabric, others barely enough to cover much of anything, and more still that were definitely not made to fit a man's body, with far more exaggerated curves than either of them possessed. He makes a thoughtful noises as he looks them over. Lan Zhan should have something that showed off his broad shoulders and narrow waist, but he wasn't sure any of these quite fit the idea he had in his head. Not that he still wouldn't have fun pushing them on Lan Zhan and watching him play dress up.

He grabs something with yards upon yards of fabric in the skirts and pulls it from the rack, handing it over.

"One of these maybe?"

The dresses were alright, but there was a problem with most of them. "Where is the rest of it?" he asks, as he pulls up a sleeveless dress with a sweetheart neckline. "Should there not be a jacket on top?"

It would be odd to walk down the aisle wearing this with naked arms. and they have to dance - he wouldn't even be able to lift his arms in this! The underarm hair would be on full display, how ugly for either of them on their wedding!

He pulls up one with sleeves, but they're very tight, and he doesn't think his arms will fit. He doesn't think Wei Ying's arms will fit either. And these all appear to be form-fitting for a woman; there's room for a chest but certainly not for either of theirs. He goes to ask the shopkeep if there are dresses like this, but cut for a man. Because obviously, he needs a dress like this, but fitted to their shape!

"This is all they have," he says, when he comes back, picking up a lacy red number with ample stretch and handing it to his husband-to-be.

He can't hold in his laughter when Lan Wangji holds up the dress. Just imagining him in something so showy and flaunting that much bare skin in public is enough to make his sides hurt. The fashions here aren't so bad when you get to pick them separately and match them up to your own tastes, with pants and skirts and tops of all sorts, but these dresses that were all one piece were tasteless, and some outright ridiculous.

The one Lan Zhan hands him seems much too small at first, at least until he sees it's made from the sort of fabric that stretches, meant to show off one's figure, hugging close like a second skin and leaving little to the imagination. As if that wasn't enough, it was sheer in places, or pretended to be, with fabric in complementary skin tones to give the appearance of nothing but bare skin beneath the lace.

If he weren't tipsy, it might've been enough to earn a blush or a startled fumbling of words, but instead he just grins, giggling all the more.

"This one, are you sure Lan Zhan? In front of all our family?" he shrugs and makes his way toward the changing rooms with it in hand, already stripping as he goes.

Lan Wangji attempts to make sure that Wei Ying does not become completely naked in the middle of the store, and helps to usher him towards the dressing room. In fact, he'll follow Wei Ying into it, though he has no intentions of doing anything other than helping him dress. After all, he had said he doesn't want to take advantage of Wei Ying while he was inebriated and it still holds true.

But he also doesn't want Wei Ying to tear the delicate-looking fabric in his drunkenness. So he helps Wei Ying slip out of his clothes, gently caressing the warm skin underneath in a way that's intimate, but not lewd. It feels trusting, and he might still be feeling a little bit giddy inside knowing that once Wei Ying is drunk the thing he wants to do is draw pictures of them and try on wedding clothes.

If he hadn't already felt Wei Ying's love for him, he'd at least know it for sure this way.

He's almost shed off his outer robes by the time they reach the dressing room, but manages to make it inside before they drop to the floor. Lan Zhan is right there to help him though, and having him help Wei Wuxian out of his clothes has become a fairly normal part of their daily lives, so he hardly minds that extra set of hands around him.

The lace is unfamiliar, and clings to every part of him, squeezing lightly. The skirt is short, and there's not much sleeve to speak of as he catches sight of himself in the mirror. It feels laughable, really, and he's not short on humor, nor the ability to laugh at himself.

"Ooh, maybe this one is better for later," he grins, placing his arms around Lan Zhan's neck, letting out another soft laugh, his breath sweet with the scent of wine, "you want me to wear this for you?"

Lan Wangji thinks that Wei Ying is a troublemaker, and he is certainly going to be that way making such suggestions in the dressing room like this. "Mm, maybe we should try on another one," he comments. "Wei Ying is beautiful in everything, but this dress is not nice enough."

And if he'd wanted Wei Ying to wear anything special for him, it'd probably be silky, and only maybe a little bit lacy, and also be easy to take off. That's the most important thing.

They're not shopping for after the wedding though, so this has to come off.

"Oh? I'll try on as many as you want then, if it means you'll praise me like that each time," he smiles, leaning in close to kiss his cheek, since he's already got his arms around Lan Zhan's neck.

The dress is a lot harder to wiggle out of than it was to slip on, and he gets stuck about halfway, the stretch fabric rucked up around his shoulders, arms above his head, most of his torso bare.

"Lan Zhaaaan," he gives a muffled whine, head stuck in the stretchy lace, "help this poor man, won't you?"

Lan Wangji tries his best to help Wei Ying out of the lace entrapments; there were just so many things about this new style of clothing he didn't understand. He also disentangles himself and pecks Wei Ying on the cheek, telling him to stay there as he steals out of the fitting room for a second.

He goes to pick another dress, one that might actually be fitting with a jacket on top, with a long train, and a bump in the back to accentuate Wei Ying's backside.

He puts it over the top of the dressing room and knocks for Wei Ying to let him back in.

He breathes a sigh of relief, once he's free of the stifling, tight fabric, and he's about to follow Lan Zhan right out of the dressing room, when he sneaks away with a kiss on his cheek and closes the door before he can tag along. He puffs his cheeks for a moment, pouting, but it's not long before a pile of red fabric falls over the top of the door, and Lan Zhan returns.

It takes a bit of work to drag the long dress down, and he holds it up for a moment. The color is nice, but he's not sure how it'll fit. The other dress had stretch, but this just has what, zipper things? He tugs it down, trying to decide if it's easier to step into the top or go up through the bottom of the dress. After raising a wobbly leg to try to step in and almost off-balancing himself, he decides that going at it from underneath is probably the safer option.

"Can you help hold it up, Lan Zhan?" he asks, then burrows under it without waiting for a reply. It's not much easier, trying to get it over his shoulders this way, but at least he's not trying to keep his balance.

"And the back? I can't quite, um... the zipper?"

Yes, right. Good thing Wei Ying has such a tiny waist, because he slips it on him quite nicely and then zips it up; the only thing that the dress can't quite handle is his broad chest. These darts were not made for Wei Ying.

The tulle underneath the dress give it a little bit of body, and turn Wei Ying into a veritable hourglass, though it's a tad bit short on him, stopping at his ankles. Lan Wangji takes off his own overcoat to drape it on Wei Ying, thus making him look like a princess with that dress cut so high, such a feminine silhouette.

From behind, he takes the other dress and places it over top of Wei Ying's hair, draping it over to appear as a veil, and slides his arms around Wei Ying's tiny waist, looking at the both of them in the mirror as they would see each other at the wedding.

"It's gonna look ridiculous..."

It's not so bad, actually, but the chest feels awful tight, and he can't help feeling a little silly, his arms bare, but it seems Lan Zhan is already prepared, and the overcoat sits heavy and warm on his shoulders. It's still full of his scent and body heat, and just slightly too big for him, his fingertips barely showing at the end of the sleeves, but he hugs it briefly around himself, face nothing but pleased. He makes a mental note (that may or may not stick after a night of drinking) to borrow Lan Zhan's clothes more often.

As if the cut of the dress and the way it shows off his thin waist wasn't enough, Lan Zhan adds a makeshift veil as well, and he can feel his throat constrict a little, seeing them together in the mirror like this. Sure, the style isn't traditional, and he never pictured himself wearing a veil, of all things, but... they aren't traditional, and if Lan Zhan wants him to wear one, he can't deny there's a certain romanticism to it.

"Lan Zhan..."

He's dangerously close to going from silly drunk to weepy drunk, overcome by how real this feels, even if they're just playing now. He turns in Lan Zhan's arms, wrapping his own around his neck and trying not to sniffle too much as he rests his head on Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"I'm really happy, you know?"

Maybe it's not traditional for Wei Ying to wear a veil, but without it, it's sort of hard to tell that these are intended to be wedding clothes. With the veil, he can really imagine the two of them in front of each other, taking their bows, and choosing to live the rest of their lives together.

He holds Wei Ying to his chest, and kisses his crown; it's a bit of a weird feeling hugging Wei Ying wearing his coat, but he sort of wishes Wei Ying would wear his clothes more often. The way it hangs off of his fingers, the way it's slightly too big - and, now that he thinks about it, it will smell like Wei Ying once returned to him.

He tips Wei Ying's face forward, and leaves a peck of a kiss to his lips. "I am happy too, Wei Ying. But I will not be satisfied until I can call you husband."

It takes so little to push him over that emotional ledge, having felt so vulnerable the last few days, his sister gone right as her son arrived was enough, add to that the incident with Lan Xichen's traumatic injuries, and a little too much wine, and well, here he was, rubbing his teary face into Lan Zhan's shoulder.

Just having Lan Zhan here with him was enough, he wasn't sure he dared ask for more, but being able to put proper titles, of course, he wanted it too.

"You can," he says, looking up with a slight pout, "you can call me that now, or... or whenever you want."

His breath suddenly grows sharp as Wei Ying says that, and he feels emotions well up in him even though they are no longer connected in that way. Still, he can hear it in Wei Ying's voice, and he's sure it's going to show in his own.

"My husband," he calls, his voice gently quaking though he tries to hold it steady. "My husband."

He cups Wei Ying's cheeks in his hands and seals their lips in a quick but searing kiss. And when he's done, he rests their foreheads together, and holds back from another kiss so soon.

Between his pinched waist and a few too many drinks, Lan Zhan's kiss is enough to make his knees wobble. The reasons he has to love him could far outnumber the thousands of rules in Cloud Recesses, and he feels so many of them welling up in his heart that it makes him weak.

"Mm, and you're mine," he smiles, breaking into a gentle laugh, their foreheads resting lightly together. His hands reach up to cover Lan Zhan's, thumbs stroking gently over them. While Lan Zhan might be holding back, a tipsy Wei Wuxian has no such scruples, and he leans in, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Oh, he melts into that kiss, holding Wei Ying's face close, offering him a sweet smile. Honestly, he can't wait to marry this man, even if they're already husbands in his heart. He wishes to get up in front of the whole world and say so, tell everyone this one is his.

Before he steals another kiss though, he pulls back and shakes his head. "This one's not good enough for Wei Ying." But none of the clothes here were. Not for such an occasion.

Lan Zhan's smiles were once a rare treat, but the more time they spend together, the more he feels spoiled by them, getting to enjoy them so often. He offers up one in return, wide and overflowing with happiness.

"Then what? Is Lan Zhan going to hire a seamstress? There's only so many dresses here," he gives Lan Wangji a puzzled look, not so uncertain that he wouldn't do exactly that. But the Lan's pockets don't run deep here, or rather, money is of little value in this place at all.

"They've provided us with a lot of things from home, but I doubt they were anticipating a wedding."

"If needed, I will take silks and make us clothes," he answers, definitively, as if learning to sew were something that he could just easily learn and be good enough to hand-sew an entire wedding ensemble by the time they are to be wed. With no instruction.

He'd also build Wei Ying a house this way, if he wanted, if he needed one. He'd get down in the dirt and make bricks by his own handiwork, lay them, plank wood for floors, build him a bed, make him a hearth, make him a place to call home.

He would do anything for Wei Ying, and he need only say the words.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject