"I can hardly tell you otherwise, when I have felt the same." He knows very well that it is not a feeling that will go away simply because someone else tells you it isn't true. "Perhaps there will always be something more we could have done. But it does not mean you owe me anything."

When Huaisang pulls his hand away to hug him, Lan Xichen lets out a long, slow breath, letting his body relax so he can gather Huaisang up in his arms and pull him in. He holds on just as tight, eyes slipping shut for a moment when he says he doesn't know how he doesn't hold it against him.

Because he loves Huaisang. It is hardly a secret that Lan Xichen is soft hearted - both he himself and Mingjue had called him so, when they discussed matters here, and it is no different with Huaisang. There are things he could not forgive, even with those he loves, but this is not one of them. Not when he has already gone over it again and again in his mind.

"How could I? You were betrayed, angry and grieving, and alone." How utterly alone Huaisang must have felt with Mingjue ripped from him, unable to truly depend on the two who should have stood with him through anything, the knowledge of the betrayal and Jin Guangyao's true nature hanging over him at every moment. "I'm here," he adds, very quietly. "I will still be here, as long as you want."