There is a sharp intake of breath when Huaisang says that, his hands tightening reflexively in the other's robes before he loosens his grip.

"How can you?"

There is something freeing in the words, the question he has asked himself over and over - even here, even where he has been able to be more of what he should be. How can any of them trust him, when he has been proven to be so thoroughly faulty in his judgement?

"I hardly trust myself."