TEST DRIVE MEME 005

[happyheartsstaff]

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. INFESTATION

It starts with soft squeaks echoing in the hallways, the lobby, even Oysters' rooms. There's no accompanying scratching or the scurrying of feet that would usually signify an animal in the walls, only incessant squeaking that never seems to let up. Less than a day after it begins, the first squeaking creature makes its appearance. It is quickly followed by another, and another, and another, until one can't take more than a few steps without encountering one.

They range in size from no longer than an inch to almost a foot in length, and can be found everywhere from the pool area to the buffet to crawling beneath the blankets at night. Aside from their constant presence, they seem harmless. The creatures are soft and squishy, warm and dry to the touch, and don't seem to have any claws or even teeth. If they are treated with kindness, they may even become attached to certain Oysters, who will begin to find they can tell the creature apart from the others.

They can also be killed quite easily. They are resilient, and will bounce if dropped, but they have no defense against anything sharp and the smaller ones will not recover if stepped on.

The hotel staff view the little green creatures with varying levels of distaste, from mild irritation to shrieking at the sight of one.

"It always happens this time of year," one staff may say if asked. "The weather changes, they come in from the garden."

"They're hiding," another may state. "Who wouldn't? It's much safer in here."

Safer from what, you may ask?

The hotel staff give no answer to that.

After only a few days, the small creatures will begin to change. Those who have been shown kindness will become softer, fluffier. Prolonged contact with them will invoke feelings of happiness, will bring daydreams that feel real, though no one else can see them.

Those who have not been treated kindly will become more resilient, with spikes sharp enough to prick skin at the slightest touch. Stumbling over one of these will cause terrible hallucinations, waking nightmares that can only be dispelled with assistance from another.

II. THE QUEEN'S GARDEN

The creatures have been in the hotel over a week when a new archway appears in the hotel lobby.

It is nearly October, hotel staff will say. There is a wedding to prepare for, and the yearly harvest festival. The Queen does so love her Oysters, of course, that she is opening up her gardens for both.

The garden itself is expansive, spanning multiple acres. There is a winding path lined with neatly manicured rose bushes in all colors, another overgrown with ivy, another leading through trees with leaves of reds and golds. Groves of fruit trees are heavy with apples and pears. Elaborate water fountains and delicate streams flow between small ponds, each bordered by different types of water plants and filled with everything ranging from goldfish to koi. There is a chill in the air, and scattered throughout the gardens are stone fire pits, a stash of blankets, bags of marshmallows and cartons of fresh pressed apple cider.

It is the only place aside from the pool that Oysters will be able to see the sun instead of the eternal twilight outside of the hotel windows.

Night will fall here, too, and with it all the fire pits are lit. Lanterns line the paths, and some glow from the thick of the gardens themselves, though there are still shadowy places that one can retreat to if desiring privacy.

III. HEDGE MAZE

The garden is bordered on all sides by a massive wall of shrubbery — a hedge maze, hotel staff will say. They may even warn that those who go in without an escort will find themselves hopelessly lost.

There is nothing stopping Oysters from trying anyway, of course. The entrance to the hedge maze is difficult to find, but not impossible for those who are persistent. No matter what time of day it is in the garden, it will be night in the hedge maze, with no lanterns to guide the way. The entrance back to the garden will glow warm and bright for only a few moments after stepping inside, and will then disappear entirely.

It seems there is no way to go but forward.

The deeper into the maze, the darker it gets, as though even the moon and stars are growing dim. Oysters may catch sounds of soft breathing in the night, and may even observe that the hedge wall itself seems to sway as though something just beyond it — or in it — is moving. Those who enter the maze will find themselves wandering for what feels like hours, days. Does that turn look familiar? Have you been down this way before? Who can tell, when nothing about the maze ever seems to change.

Eventually, Oysters will find that they have been lead back to the garden, exhausted and hungry, though no time at all has passed for everyone else.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

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© tessisamess

Comments

[inquiryguqin]

Lan Wangji could feel the depth of his words and feelings for him, cutting him deeply like a knife. Clearly, he wounded him, and perhaps, with him and his soultwin, just one of them is not enough. He felt his gaze downcast, a sudden heaviness of despondency weight in his chest. By his confession, he realized maybe he won't have his wedding after all...

"Wei Ying, I don't know. You're not that hard to talk to, and yet...I'm the one who has trouble speaking from the heart. When I feel its loud, I am silent." He said. "I waited this long because I was waiting on your recovery, so you'll be able to handle it." He explains.

At his explanation, he knew he was giving and kind, and yet why he feels so inadequate? "You are enough, and yet...I think both of our hearts wanted more. I want more of you, and yet sometimes..."

He drifted off in a pause, trying to find words. "Maybe it's not enough. And this place doesn't make me a trusting person as I used to be." It wasn't any of that notion. If anything, he confessed he's really insecure.

"I don't know Wei Ying. I just think...that I am not worthy of your love no matter what I do. You..."

Tears started to stream down from his golden eyes, tears that sting as he speaks with difficulty. "I just want you to look at me. When you give me my books, I am happy. But I wanted more. I want you to sit with me, read my poems, paint me a picture, write to me. Whatever you gave him, give it to me too, I don't know. I want everything."

Looking at him, "Do you think that's fair...?" And suddenly he felt guilty and selfish, and he wishes he hadn't brought this up. His intention is to don't keep secrets from him. While a measure of guilt left, he feels more emotionally exhausted than before. No, because the truth of the matter is, he doesn't want to give him up, and Lan Wangji himself is selfish.

Finally, his heart and mind are going around in circles until at last, he crumbles when Wei Ying started to cry. "Nevermind, forget what I said. I don't deserve you."

Quietly he gets up because both anger and pain are bubbling from the depths of him, and he goes to a nearby tree to vent his frustration and punches it in rapid session. It's going to hurt and make his knuckles bleed, but a million thoughts make everything inside of himself crumble into self-hatred over his pride and perfection that his clan taught him, and there's no word, rhyme, or reason to express the mixture of frustration over his relationships.

[scaredofdogs]

Sometimes he hates this place. He wonders if they would have all these frustrations if they were back on their world or if it is only here that they have to keep passing these trials.

There was so much he still didn't understand. The time he spends with both Lan Wangji are precious, but he has given this one so much more then he has given the other. And he feels like he should be happy that they have finally all understood these feelings they have for each other but he still feels slightly betrayed despite that.

He turns his head as he watches the other man start to walk away, afraid he was just going to leave him behind. Once more the words of the twins echo in his ears and he find that fear of being alone start to bubble up. He opens his mouth to call out to him and all that comes is a choked sob.

So it is almost a relief when the man stops by a tree and unleashing the same kind of fury on it as he had seen him do all those years ago. At the time he didn't know why, but now he does and he feels bad that this is the second time that he has made Lan Wangji unleash such anger.

When he finally trusts his voice it is still shaky from the fear of moments ago, "Lan Zhan.." He takes a couple unsteady steps towards him, trying to get back some of his confidence.

"You say you want more and you want whatever I give to him to be yours. But I've given you so much more then I've ever given him. I've given you myself, my body, my soul. You're the only one I've ever kissed on the lips or been intimate with. You're the one I wake up next to every day and you're the one I'm going to marry. Does none of that count?"

He looks down at the ground as he stops a few feet away from the other man, his heart feeling like it got left behind in a trail of broken pieces from the fire to this point.

"I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. After everything I've done, I don't deserve anything. The hotel should have left me dead..."

But there is something that still bothers him despite that, "But if it had..I would want you to find happiness with the other me someday. After you have avenged whomever caused me to be that way..and your anger is gone..I want you to move on. Because I'd rather you were happy then to be lost like you were for all those years. I don't deserve to be mourned for thirteen years. Especially not when there is someone just like me here to help you heal." Being told what he did right after he died was a shock. It was hard to accept because of the timing..because he did come back. But as he works out everything in his heart and his mind now that he knows the truth, he understands and accepts it. It still hurts but that won't ever change.

But perhaps it also hurts because there is still uncertainty in his heart, "But if the reason you kissed him when I was back was because I can't make you happy..then you should be with someone who can."

[inquiryguqin]

He listens to him, every single word, as he felt the pain and anger left his body. The violence of his anger toward himself left him as he felt calmer hearing his words and the sincere honesty behind them somewhat. True, he has been unhappy, and no matter what, he stayed because he promised if they leave this world, they will leave together. They will finish every chapter and climb over every obstacle that the hotel throws at them, even if their weakness and vulnerability become exploited and exposed.

He slowly turns around to look at him, and rather not facing the tree, which he broke pass the thick layer of bark and punched it into splinters. "...I can't take him home with me. He belongs to the other one. He is not mine, even if I give a small part of my life to him, so he has something happy to cherished, it's not going to be enough. You're the one who is mine and the one I vowed and promise to take home. Of course, you deserved happiness. The hotel has no right to take your life. The hotel has no right to take you away from me. You already died for your sins, you don't need to die for something you didn't do. You did nothing wrong."

He takes a deep sigh, composing himself. "No. The reason I kissed him when you came back because Wei Ying is unhappy and we are both selfish. When you're gone, there is no replacement of you. And I'm someone who isn't capable of making you both happy because I don't understand why you love me. Kisses, hugs, gifts, what are they worth? Absolutely nothing. Wei Ying, you're my soulmate. I will not move on. It's not that simple. Because I have chosen to. You do make me happy. I missed you terribly when you were gone. And despite that, you feel you don't deserve anything despite everything that you and I did..."

He walks over because he senses his fear. That he will walk away because of his imperfections, that he is inadequate, that he is easily replaced. "I still love you and choose you, in your two lifetimes, and the many more to come. I choose you and nobody else. Because despite everything, you're....you're just right and I'm sorry."

Feeling calmer, "I'm just angry that my love isn't enough and I'll lose you again. What I must do to keep you? Would you be happier with the other if we let each other go or switch places? These are the doubts in my mind everyday."

[scaredofdogs]

He ducks his head down even further, hiding his expression behind those long bangs. Lan Wangji says he is perfect and done nothing wrong but all of that seems farthest from the truth. It feels like he has done nothing right and perhaps he never will and they will always be caught in these situations. He can't help how he feels towards the other Lan Wangji but that doesn't mean he wants to switch. He knows that his place is beside this Lan Wangji and has never doubted that for a moment.

"Have I done something to make you think those things? Has there ever been a night when I didn't come home to you and made you doubt my loyalty? Have I ever said something to cause you to to feel like I did more with hm?"

His voice is weak, tired from the strain of all these emotions and mentally fragile. Perhaps they needed this...perhaps before they can possibly get married these doubts and truths must be voiced. Because by entering into the marriage with so much weight on their hearts and shoulders would only cause they pain in the long run. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with now, even knowing that they need to do this.

"Is the only reason you stay with me because I am the one from your world? Does he make you happier?"

These weren't thoughts he had ever had until this moment, but now the fear grips him like a vice. Does Lan Wangji really want to take his soul twin back with him instead? Perhaps after all this time the one Lan Wangji really loves is his soul twin. Perhaps he is the one that is truly in both their hearts and this Wei Wuxian is the one on the outside.

He feels his legs grow weak from the mere thought of that and his knees buckle. He plops down on the ground as if his legs just can't support his weight any longer.

[inquiryguqin]

Seeing his hurt expression and at those questions, Lan Wangji takes a few moments to calm down and realized what he has done. He was about to answer, but there is nothing. "...I don't know." He whispered softly.

For a few moments, his anger was like a volcano, it erupted and the emotions he had just slowly oozed out like a fiery lava. "I'm sorry." That's all he could say and offer in response to his questions. "No. I stay with you because I want to, and you're the only one who could make me happy. There's nobody else."

Instead, he sat down to slump and leaned his back on the three, and lean his head against the tree, because he felt like he's going crazy over what he supposed to feel. But he felt all the anger in his body finally left him, and in place, there just total powerless and despair. His knuckle is slight bruising, but he doesn't care.

A few moments of silence, and then slowly he reaches over to Wei Ying, taking his hand to pull him over into a hug if he's willing to come. "I'm sorry." Though he said so in tears, realizing he made a mistake of losing his temper. "You're hurt and I'm hurting you."

[scaredofdogs]

Wei Wuxian crawls over when that hand takes his. He moves into the other man's lap and curls up against him. He doesn't think about the fact the added weight of the tails might make him heavier as he settles there in his arms.

"We're not supposed to have any secrets, Lan Zhan. If I did something to make you have all these doubts then you're supposed to tell me."

Wei Wuxian is incredibly observant at times, and terribly naive and clueless at others. He spent most of his life never realizing Lan Wangji's feelings. Which means even now he has a hard time noticing when the other is upset with him.

"I love you and I don't want to do something that hurts you."

He tucks his face against Lan Wangji's neck. The man is allowed to be angry or sad or frustrated with him. All those emotions are important and Wei Wuxian wants to be able to soothe them away not be the cause of them.

"But I also love the other you, and you love the other me. And we both have to accept that as well even if that love can't compare to what we have."

[inquiryguqin]

The fact that he is willing comes to sit on his lap to curl up with him, and he wasn't angry at him at all, just hurt, which means to him there's a second chance. But they have to compromise and make this workout somehow. He finds his own fury soothe and calms down when he tucks his face on his neck and he felt his warmth, which he loves.

He's going to wrap his arms around him for a hug. "I still want you and I care about you very much. When you came back, I was both happy and very devastated by your death. It has been two times now, Wei Ying."

At his confession that he loves another, it's like another stab at his heart, but for some reason, it hurts a lot less and more like acceptance. Taking a deep breath, he is finally perceptive of what he needs and he has a breakthrough. "All right. All right." He huffs. At this point, he doesn't care. Cooly, stating hollowly, "It's fine. I'll accept it." No, not really, but he's going to try to make their relationships work. "This is difficult, but we can make this work out somehow. I don't know, but I only love Wei Ying and nobody else. I let you and your soul-twin in, because you're both so loving and kind, and my heart accepts the both of you."

[scaredofdogs]

"We are both Wei Ying and you are both Lan Zhan. That's all our hearts know." If he can accept that Lan Wangji loves both of them, then Lan Wangji must also accept that he does as well. That is the only way this can work. "We need to talk to the other two as well. We share a wedding day and we hold no secrets between us. That needs to be true towards them as well."

Because it wouldn't be fair to them if they are still not aware. And as odd and difficult a conversation that might be, it has to be done in some way.

He doesn't want to think about his deaths anymore so he doesn't say anything about that. He's had to dwell on that too much already and he still gets nightmares almost every night from the attack. It isn't something that will be going away any time soon. But he doesn't want to think about that in this moment.

"Yours is the only bed I want to be in Lan Zhan. Even if we love the others, it doesn't mean we have to give ourselves to them completely. Nor would they possibly want us to. They have each other just as we do."

[inquiryguqin]

"We'll talk if only they want to." He said, and at last, he finally came to an agreement because he hugs Wei Ying tightly in his arms as he normally does.

When it comes to intimacy and sex, which is a very sensitive subject to him. "Wei Ying, I'm going to be your husband. You are the only one I want to go with bed, absolutely." That's something they can both trust to agree on. But even if they want to share each other, it maybe later when they're in a different mindset and if things change. But not right now with the emotional fragility.

But he does feel a weight is off his chest now. So quietly, "I think I feel better now. I don't...want to hold anything back from you. I hate myself for hurting you." Because now his hand is just hurt and sore, and he is strong even without his golden core, so he has to go and take care of that later.

[scaredofdogs]

Wei Wuxian reaches around for that hand that got injured and brings it up to his lips, kissing it gently. It won't fix it but he feels responsible for causing that anger and the sequential injury from it.

"We've hurt each other but we will also be able to heal each other." Because only Lan Wangji is able to make his heart feel complete. And no matter what happens or what arguments they have, they will always find a way to get past it and return to the way they should be.

Those ears finally perk back up as he lowers that injured hand into his lap. "I love you, Lan Zhan. That will never change."

He leans up and kisses his cheek as lightly as he had just kissed the hand.

[inquiryguqin]

He lets him take care of him, and he winces from the pain, but the kiss does make it feel better, and he feels slightly better if anything just a bruise to his mental and emotional state. He'll need to take proper care of his hand later.

"Mn. I don't know what to do without you. You're my other half." It should be that simple, but it's complicated. It boils down, they're in love with their other version of themselves, and he doesn't know how to handle it.

He closed his eyes and accept his kisses. "And...I'm grateful that you love me and still do. Thank you."

[scaredofdogs]

Wei Wuxian feels a little bit of a wobble in his heart as he doesn't get the 'I love you' returned back to him. But he pushes it aside because he knows that Lan Wangji does even if he doesn't say it back every time. He knows he can't be fussy about such things when they have had such a delicate conversation and fight. But to receive a 'thank you' as a response just stings a little bit. He knows he probably deserves that little bit of heartache though after everything that has transpired over the last few minutes.

"We're soulmates forever, Lan Zhan. You're stuck with me until you decide you're sick of me."

He tries to have a little bit of a teasing lift to his voice as he says that and the ends of those fox tails twitch in response. He threads the fingers of his hand through the injured one of Lan Wangji's very carefully. Not wanting to hurt him but also wanting that contact. He nestles his face against the man's neck.

[inquiryguqin]

"No. I can't be sick of you. I love you far too much." And he meant it, and the I love yous that Wei Ying wanted to hear, he said it all the time, but he can only say it in sincerity and it's truthfulness. He's the sort that won't say empty words without meaning.

His playfulness works, so he's going to pet through his ears, and then over his tails to confirmed he felt better, and he's hugging him with his arms around him as they hurdle this obstacle together.

"Wei Ying, I'm cold. So let's go back to the fire pit where we can get warmer. I think we left some marshmallows back." And from there, he can be affectionate to him properly.

[scaredofdogs]

"How can you be cold when you have such a nice furry blanket at your disposal?" He laughs softly, snuggling closer for a moment while those tails fan out to almost accentuate that point.

But he is also willing to go back to the fire and finish the sweet treats that he can distracted from before. So he lifts his head up and crawls off his lap so he can pop back up onto his feet.

[inquiryguqin]

"Wei Ying is a good blanket. I get cold easily." And finally, at last, he felt at ease since everything within him is finally quiet. As much as he wants to snuggle with him more, their cooked marshmallows have gotten cold by now.

They walked together to the firepit where it's much warmer, and they can finally have their smores and cuddle up with his fox-husband-to be.

[scaredofdogs]

Wei Wuxian plops down by the fire. It's easier for him to sit on the floor then in a chair because of the tails and this allows him to also be closer to the fire. He picks up the stick used for the marshmallows and puts a new one on it.

"Don't you think it looks like they have been getting the gardens ready for the wedding?"

Wei Wuxian can't help but notice the differences and the additions since the last time they were out here.

[inquiryguqin]

Lan Wangji is quiet, as he pokes the marshmallows on a stick and then hovers the sweet over the fire to roast it. Perhaps he is more amicable now, so he is eager to resume their activity as normal as possible for a sense of stability.

"Mn. It seems like it. The lanterns look like ours back home. So somehow, I think the Queen knows."

Meanwhile, because he feels lonely, he cuddles up to him to feel for his body, his tails, and his warmth, and because he was emotionally exhausted and he misses him.

[scaredofdogs]

Wei Wuxian snuggles up against him and blows the flame out that tries to consume his marshmallow. He waits a second for it to cool before carefully pulling it off the stick and holding it out towards Lan Wangji to feed it to him. They are okay but he isn't completely sold on the little treat. He just thinks it is fun to cook them.

"She seems to know everything else about us so knowing about the wedding just seems to make sense."

She knows a little too much to the point it can be creepy. But if it makes their work to get ready for the wedding a little easier then who is he to complain.

[inquiryguqin]

Once the marshmallows become roasted enough, he gingerly nibbles on the marshmallow but found it too sweet to his liking and a loss a bit of his appetite. He craves food from home and realized how homesick he is, and how much he misses their son, even though a version exists here, and how much he misses his own version of his family.

He eats half-way and laid the marshmallow aside and just let it burn until it's black. "Mn. She kept us, prisoner, for so long. For how long, I do not know." He said, solemn. For now, the garden provides a measure of freedom, being outside.

For now to him the purpose of the wedding to make their bond solid, a ceremony that symbolized that they're inseparable and he vowed to bring Wei Ying back home, alive and preferably in one piece. "No matter what they throw at us, we'll overcome it." A part of him is certain since this he has been in love with him for over a decade and it has never changed.

[scaredofdogs]

He lays his head on Lan Wangji's shoulder and stares into the flames. He brings one of the crackers up and nibbles on it. He wishes they had more information about this place and the queen but that seems impossible. And all his attempts at getting more has ended up badly for him. So it is starting to make him hesitate about trying to gain anything else.

"Or course we will. Because we are stronger together."

And soon they will be bound together and destined to stand side by side for all eternity. He looks forward to that day.