funnyhearts | INAUGURAL TEST DRIVE MEME

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INAUGURAL TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: WELCOME TO HAPPY HEARTS

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are also available. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every oyster in the hotel. Each colour tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a sense of general contentment after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.
ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.
SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any oyster who drank a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper buffet are available for oysters to peruse, but the staff will assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes! The Pig & Pepper serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, oyster. You know it to be true.

III. YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY

Curiosity is not, on its own, a trait the staff want to discourage. Oysters are free to search for ways out of the hotel, but they won't find anything — there are no doors anywhere in the lobby or the casino, the windows are impenetrable, the walls don't crumble no matter how hard anyone hits them. The elevator between floors has no service hatch, and there are no stairs to take. The hotel is, at least so far as anyone can tell, a completely closed system.

Now, in light of this, Happy Hearts knows some oysters can be a little... reactionary. Especially when cornered, especially the ones with powers or abilities beyond the average human. With this in mind, any oyster found to be destructive or combative won't be punished. Not yet. They will, however, be quickly incapacitated by hotel staff, drugged to incoherence, and brought discretely to a hidden back room. No one notices these oysters disappearing, nor the doors they must have been dragged through.

In this room, troublesome oysters sit, paralyzed, across from a woman in red. She smiles, and offers candy from a bowl on her desk, and laughs to herself when she remembers the oysters can't take one.

You're new, she says, kindly, so it's understandable that you're having trouble adjusting to the hotel. We promise to do all we can to make your stay here as fulfilling as possible, so you have nothing to worry about. Your experience is our top priority.

She plucks a candy disk from her bowl, and unwraps it slowly.

But you must know: if you endanger our other guests again like you have today, there will be punishments. We pride ourselves on the emotional experience we offer our oysters, and we can't let anything get in the way of that. For everyone's safety and happiness, you understand.

She pops the candy in her mouth, sucks for a moment, and smiles broadly.

That's all.

The oyster is brought, still paralyzed and incoherent, back to the hotel. No one notices them return. The paths taken through the hotel to bring them to the woman in red fade from their mind as soon as they arrive back on the hotel floor. They're left in the lobby to sit and think until the paralysis wears off.

And then they can go back to having fun in the casino!

IV. HEY! LISTEN!

At the end of the day, every oyster's Empathy device buzzes, pings, and lights up — there's a message waiting for them!

A woman with red hair and a teal dress, sat on a throne with her hands held delicately in her lap and her legs crossed daintily at the ankle, looks into the camera, smiling.

"Hello, my dear oysters! We're so pleased you could join us. I am Victoria Hart, the humble Queen of this realm, and I wanted to personally welcome you to the Happy Hearts hotel, and thank you for your gifts. We will not squander them, dears, as we will not allow your stay with us to be anything less than perfect. If you need anything at all, I'm sure hotel staff will be happy to provide, and I will be keeping an eye on all of you, to ensure your experience remains a positive one.

Welcome, darlings. This is the beginning of something wonderful."

The message saves to each oyster's Empathy, and an app pops up on the screen: the community bulletin board. The queen doesn't respond to any messages sent to her, but the other oysters might. It's worth a shot, right?

Welcome to the first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, oysters!

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「i. the casino floor」

[ To say he's out of his element is an understatement; while he's no stranger to, um, parties, the concept of gambling like this— of casinos, actually— are merely things he's read about in books, or seen overseas...

Considering, after all, gambling of this nature is generally illegal in Japan.

He plays with the bag of chips he's been giving, still too conscious of the fact he's shoeless, and wonders what his Knights senpai would do. Certainly Ritsu would slink off and find somewhere darker, and Sena would demand to see the manager, and Arashi would likely go with one of them to make sure they didn't cause too much trouble, and Leader would... Tsukasa sighs, closing his eyes. Leader would be such a headache. It's easy to lose him on the large, but open, campus of their school—it'd be even easier to do so here, with so many people, and so many things for him to be distracted by, yelling "Inspiration! Inspiration! It's come to me, finally!" all the while...

Definitely a headache.

He sighs again, louder, and sets the thoughts aside. If they're here, he'll know soon enough; and if they're not, then he should get himself as familiarized with this place as possible. Besides... It looks fun, and he can't deny he's kind of... excited? To try something new— even if it's a little weird that he wins every time, even if they're generally small wins. His chips are growing in number though, and Tsukasa looks pretty pleased with himself as he takes a short break from it. Hhm... Maybe he should ask the others partaking in such games how their luck is faring... ♪

The young man approaches anyone fresh off a table, giving them a small bow of his head. His green mark is a rook beneath his right eye, small but there. ]

Lose..?

Game

「ii. the casino floor - second half」

Drink

[ Tsukasa smiles politely, if a little forced, at the server offering him shots. He isn't actually so sure they're simply tea, as the server attempts to explain to him— he's never seen tea in such colors? And it is never served in such glasses... ]

Trust

[ um. He doesn't really want to keep being rude, so he gently takes one between his fingers, delicately, like simply being holding it will somehow make him drunk. ]

Alcohol

[ er— he's turning to the nearest person, with a small... awkward laugh... ]

「iii. hey! listen!」

[ The message is... not as useless as it could have been; he at least has a name and face to put to the manager (no, Queen) of this place, and a name for it, too... But no word on how to return, or what would happen to his education, or his unitmates, or his family, or what that rabbit— no, person— no, rabbit? from before was about, or the... mirror... was it..?

Really, it feels something like a dream, or like out of Keito's comic based on Wonderland...

Tsukasa fiddles with his Empathy, curious about its design and function. At least doesn't seem to be much more difficult than a smartphone, even if it looks much different. ]

Good evening, everyone. ♪ My name is Suou Tsukasa, a member of the unit Knights. I'm not entirely certain about the protocol for this, however...

Would this not count as kidnapping? Certainly this is far more luxurious than a normal kidnapping situation, however... And certainly I did find myself encouraged... or rather, I followed something into a mirror... I think it was... I'm not really that sure, to be honest.

It feels more like a dream.

Um, if no one wishes to discuss such heavy topics, then may I offer an alternative...? ♪ What is your favorite sweet, and how do you prepare it? I'm fond of commoner treats myself. ♪ Those cheap-type of candies you can find at family-owned stores, and such... Or the snacks you can find in places such as the school store, or the convenience store.

( ooc; as a note, Tsukasa speaks English fluently, and with a very smooth, almost native pronunciation! His English is marked with capitalization and italics to help them stand out from normal emphasized words, at least when they're spoken! For writing and etc, they'll simply be italicized. )

Wahahaha! It's come, it's come! Inspiration! Or so I'd say, but winning all the time gets so~o boring!

[like a call from the deep, it... comes somewhere around the pachinko games.]

Grr~! I wanna lose too! What's victory if not paired with loss? It's empty! It's nothing! Worthless! Losing's important too, it helps you grow, winning all the times turns you into a lazy good-for-nothing! Wahaha, not that I mind getting prizes..♪

[and, as usual, it contradicts itself as much as it makes sense.]

[ Yes, just like that... Even more like that.......

Wait, no, that's real, isn't it? Tsukasa looks around, cursing his diminutive size (and also Leo's), before he heads towards the noise— Target sighted. Finger poinitng..!! ]

There you are, Leader! [ .....he's going over, huuuuuuuuu, leader, ] Ugh... I feel my stomach beginning to Twist... You haven't been causing trouble, have you?

Mm~, sounds like Suo~... Smells like Suo~ too.

[??? as always. leo tilts his head back, staring at tsukasa, and then gasps and spins on his heel, pointing too.]

It is Suo~! I found you! Hey, hey, this place is boring, huh~? It's interesting but it's boring!

[he's gonna hug him.]

Let's cause some trouble, just like you said..♪ We can kick the machines until they won't play, see anyone win then, wahahaha~!

[ wh hey— ]

I— I didn't say we should cause Trouble, I asked if you were getting into any! [ at least............ leo hugging him..... means he knows exactly where he is.......... The small blessings. ] Destruction of property will give us Jail time as well... That wouldn't look good for Knights, now would it?

Nope, it wouldn't~! But Suo, haven't you noticed..? No one knows our faces.

[even!!! the genius composer leo tsukinaga!!!! is unrecogbized!!!!!!]

Let's make 'em remember..☆

[ That's true... Not a single person has asked after the Suou family here, or after Knights, or Yumenosaki... It's another weird point, but he already figured they weren't in Japan, since, ]

Let's not, unless it's by better means... [ siiigh. ] Leader, it's obvious we're no longer in Japan, so Naturally we wouldn't be recognized. Knights is hardly international news, and even my family, with its heritage and connections, wouldn't be recognized by those not involved in the entertainment business.

[ a beat. ]

Though I suppose even Leader would be recognized, given he's famous on his own... [ mumble mumble... ] But is that only nationally? Regionally? Or would he be looked upon favorably around the world...? Such a thing makes me Proud, and yet, I cannot help but feel a shiver down to my core at the thought...

[ tsukasa, ]

[......... hey.............. tsukasa's getting a noogie for that, very casual noogie.]

I do what I'm asked so they don't really care how I act as long as I'm not making too much trouble~. Being a genius has that kinda perks, Suo, and so does being a high school student. That's why I'm always tellin' you you should let go more! People forgive that kinda thing when you're young 'cause you're young!

[sheesh. leo'll let go of him after a bit, though only in the sense he's not getting noogied anymore... please allow your leader to cling to you.]

A~nyway, you wanna do a duet with me~? I have a couple songs I thought up while winning, but they stopped after a point~.

[ H HEY.......... THIS IS BULLYING...

but please for the love of God stay nearby, even if this is a little too comfortable for him. ]

Um... I'd like to, but I'm not the type of person who can simply start singing Perfectly without Practice? [ ???? ] Unless it's a song that I already know. In that case, Suou Tsukasa will do his best. ♪

Mm~. You need to learn to sing on command, Suo~, so you can sing Perfectly without Practice. How else are you supposed to impress anyone?

[gosh. but he's dragged tsukasa along........ somewhere..? somewhere, he doesn't know where he's going.]

[The person he turns to is a small, 18 inch tall fairy. Fortunately for his question, she actually has tried one of the drinks. Fairly recently, in fact.

Unfortunately, it was the red one. So, despite the faint aura of pink light coming off of her, it's pretty clear from her expression that she's in a stellar mood.]

I know alcohol better than most, and it definitely isn't that.

[Maybe it's just the anger talking, but she's pretty sure the people here couldn't make a decent cocktail to save their lives.]

I don't know how it was brewed. It might be some kind of tea, but it's not normal. It has some kind of magical properties.

[ —it takes him a moment to realize what she is but, oh, she's... Very Small... And doesn't seem to be in the best of moods, exactly, so he clears his throat and adjusts his grip on the glass. So that he won't, like, accidentally drop it, or something. ]

I-I see... Thank you for the reassurance. [ As much of a reassurance as that could be, anyway. ] Um... Excuse me, but when you say "magical properties," do you mean things like Love potions and such? A senior I'm acquainted with has been Rumored to have been trying to make such a thing.

[She takes a deep breath at that question and pinches the bridge of her nose, fighting to maintain the composure and patience to answer his insipid questions.

She has to tell herself that the kid's questions aren't actually unreasonable. She's just in a sour mood because of the stupid tea she drank.]

...yeah, something like that. They definitely seem to manipulate emotions.

[Which she hates. It's an extremely rude thing to spring on someone. And honestly, if she didn't have experience as a bartender as well as a magical fairy, she might not have even realized that it this is what the drink was doing.]

The one I drank really pissed me off. I don't know what the other ones do - love is a more complicated thing, but I wouldn't put it past them.

[They're apparently capable of abducting all these people, transporting them all here, and who knows what else. Should wouldn't put love potions past these people.]

[ O-Oh, that's why she looks so sour... It wasn't anything he did... Tsukasa puts a hand to his heart with a soft sigh, relieved. But, hmm, drinks that manipulate emotions... That truly is magical ♪

Wait, no, he shouldn't be so happy about that, that's concerning— ]

Do you suppose drinking another of a different color would change your Mood, or would it just compound the effects..? [ ...hmmm. His is a paint pink-whiteish one (joy!!), and he studies it. ] Um... Not that I'd ask you to try, honestly... A Lady such as yourself shouldn't subject yourself to such crude experimentation.

[The question earns a small glare from her. Sorry kid, she's just so dang irritable right now.]

Not sure. I can't say that my first reaction to being drugged is to take another dose, though.

[They're very much on the same page as far as that one goes. She eyes the pink drink in the boy's own hand.]

Don't tell me you're thinking of trying one? I just told you what they do.

[Being trapped in a hotel full of strangers was bad enough for Kotori, especially since Tsubasa wasn't around to talk for her. She was attracted to this tiny glass of blue tea(?), the color of it drawing her, in hopes it might actually calm nerves. She's about to bottoms up until she hears someone mention the prospect of it might being alcohol. Whew, close one! A country girl like her needs to stop being so naive to the world.

Still, it doesn't look like anyone knows her here. It might be okay to talk, since she doesn't have to keep an image. When the voice directs a question to her, she turns to replyoooOOOOHHEAVENSTOBETSY IT'S TSUKASA SUOU THE GUY FROM THAT REALLY COOL UNIT AND THAT OTHER SCHOOL. If she remembered correctly, one of her classmates' brother used to be in it... Small world. But that's not the real issue here right now!!

Kotori's face slowly pales as her mouth goes agape, her eyes shaking slightly as if she's about to spontaneously combust. Oh no. Oh no. This is bad. Not only is this her senior in the business, it's a boy!! A boy she's never really talked to before!! One that's stinkin' rich! And so well-spoken compared to her!! That smooth English is so... intimidating...!?

How is she going to survive this place without Tsubasa? If Kotori makes so much as a little peep, he might get a whiff of her accent and be disgusted she's from the boonies! What if it gets to the public when they go home because of her screw up!? Aaaah, what should she do!? This whole idol-ing thing is so hard...!!

Wait! There is a solution to all of this! She has... technology...!! This 'Empathy' thingamabobber! Thank you, quick thinking! Thank you, weird otherworld technology!! Composure quickly regained in a flash, Kotori quickly pulls the device out of her skirt pocket and, with lightning speed, finds him and shoots him a direct message.]

I'm sorry, Senpai. I haven't. [She glances up to give Tsukasa a slight smile and nod, to confirm that she was the one sending him these messages.] I've seen types of tea that are bright colors like this before, though. They are quite delicious iced. Maybe they're served in small glasses because it is hard to prepare in large quantities? Or maybe a sample size so we can test if we like it?

[ WH— Oh. ...She's quite cute ♪ And around his age, or at least she seems to be; "senpai" is a little weird, since he's a bit baby-faced and he knows it, so maybe she's younger than she seems...? Hm... Regardless—

She's obviously mute, else she wouldn't be texting him instead of simply talking, and he debates if he should match her, but simply adjusts his grip on his glass and keeps his Empathy in his other hand to read her messages instead. ]

Fufu, I see...♪ I've seen such Samples at eateries before, so you might be right about that. [ Hm... ] Shall we try them together, then? I think I'd feel better if I had some company, to be honest.

[ ...rng says Tsukasa's for this prompt is also blue so what up bitch, ]

[~~Blue buddies da ba dee da ba da~~ Oh, thank goodness he's taking everything in stride! Kotori would've been mortified if he thought she was a weirdo or something. Ah, maybe she really can do this, after all... Maybe... she can survive...!

Kotori brightens considerably as she continues to text him:]

Yes, I do feel better diving in when I know someone by my side will do the same. [She raises her own little glass towards him.] Cheers?

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INAUGURAL TEST DRIVE MEME

tsukasa suou ☆ ensemble stars!

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