funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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She blinks and just stares at him for a few moments. "You... Can also sense gods?" There were humans that also have that ability? Since when?

She groans a little when he gave her more pieces of the cookie and forces herself to eat it. "I think I will never eat another sweet after this...."

Though at the mentioning of forests, she perks up a little. "Really? I guess then I know where I will be staying." She won't be tied down to a human room if she can help it.

"If their spiritual energies is high enough for me to sense and if they are close by, but my spiritual energy is sealed in this place right now, so I cannot."

With a huff, "Then don't eat anymore of it. I don't like cookies either." If she can find the exit and if the door actually opens.

He broke off a few more cookie crumbs for her to eat. "You came from a different world, aren't you? My world is called Earth."

Spiritual energy? What does that mean? Perhaps it was the way that humans have learned traits that only Herons have. "I.. I would love to learn more of it. If it isn't too bold of me, my lord Mu."

She blinks at his huffiness and quickly blushes. "That is why I said after this. I... I am sorry. I know that you are only trying to help this one."

She accepts them and goes to force herself to eat the crumbs he was giving her, growing a little more with each crumb.

".... There are other worlds besides Tellius? Is that why you mentioned a god instead of a goddess?"

[ The first response he gives, Lan Wangji feels anger swell in him. The other him is not making his Wei Ying happy, and Lan Wangji will hunt him down and have a conversation why - and

- And that wasn't the follow-up he expected. ]

I do not think he would blame you, or be angry.

I would not.

[ He wonders why he has always given Wei Ying the impression that the person he is mad at is Wei Ying. And he feels a twinge of jealousy towards the other Lan Wangji, though he tries to remember that is himself, and that this Wei Ying is not the one that belongs with him. ]

You should tell him.

Lan Wangji takes the towel and red inner robe off the ground and takes another minute to hang them up on the extra towel rack, before stepping out in a matching robe, calves bare.

His hair is still wet, dripping, and it's hard to see from the front, but in the back some of his hair is bloody. His wound has closed, and it's sticky. As long as he doesn't have a concussion, he should be fine. But he makes his way over to Wei Ying, taking a seat at his table before him.

That should make it easier for Wei Ying to inspect his wound and help him clean it out if necessary, and then after that, he can make them tea and they can have a conversation like normal. "Are you alright?" he asks, looking up at him, honestly with the hope that Wei Ying has not sustained any injuries. He hadn't seen any, but they'd been in a bit of a rush.

[ The staff member helpfully suggests that he's only been given a juice, and if they are out of juice, there's probably more in the kitchens. They won't be allowed in, of course, but the staff member is happy to go retrieve some for the honorable guests if they wish. ]

Take us to the kitchens.

[ The staff member, with their creepy smile, denies Lan Wangji, who, at Lan Xichen's waist, seems to finally have stopped shrinking. ]

This is useless. Where is the Queen?

[ The staff member shakes their head, and explains that they can't be taken to see the Queen. In response, Lan Wangji takes a step forward, and might need his Xiaozhang to remind him that he is currently powerless. ]

When Lan Wangji exits in the exact same style of robe, it's hard not to feel like he should avert his eyes. Even when he'd caught Lan Zhan in the healing pools of Gusu, he'd been more fully dressed. His hair is just as sodden as Wei Wuxian's and it almost seems a scandal to see him in such a state.

He only hesitates a moment before joining Lan Zhan at the table, crouching close enough to touch, projecting his actions and waiting another moment before actually reaching out to inspect the injury. Even as careful as his fingers are, it's impossible not to brush against the headband. Luckily, it seems to have stopped bleeding, and with a head-wound that's most important.

"I'll clean it out," he offers; really it's the least he can do. He may not have Lan Zhan's healing hands, but even he can clean a wound and apply a salve.

"Do you keep any medicine here?" At least he knew where the towels, and likely a comb would be, but he could take direction just as easily.

"No," he replies. "I do not trust the medicines here." He doesn't trust the food here either, or drink, so he definitely would not ingest a drug or place on herbs that were supposed to alter his state.

Wei Ying's touch is gentle, and Lan Wangji can tell by his deliberate movements that he's trying to avoid touching the headband. This makes him unreasonably pleased, to know that Wei Ying is taking extra care to be respectful. He has felt recently, there had been some distance between them, until he stood out in front of Wei Ying, brandishing Bichen against those guards, against Jin Guangyao. He had even raised his sword against Xichen, though he doubts blows would have come to pass between them.

He supposes he cannot expect Wei Ying, right now, to believe that Lan Wangji will not just up and leave at his nearest convenience.

"There are smaller towels in the bathroom," he explains. "The water flows out when you put something underneath the spout." How else is he supposed to explain the automatic sink? It had even surprised Lan Wangji.

"Mmm," he makes a quiet sound of understanding. After all, if the medicines were anything like the tea he had earlier, he would probably much rather leave it to heal on its own. It was strange enough (though incredibly fun) to see Lan Zhan drunk, but he couldn't even imagine seeing him affected by one of the odd brews here.

"Alright, wait here," he affirms, before going to fetch what he can. Sure enough, there's hand-towels near the wash basin, and he tests the spout with his hand first, curiously. Just as Lan Zhan had said, the water began to pour, and Wei Wuxian jerked his hand back as he gave a surprised laugh. What an intriguing invention! He made mental note to play with- that is, examine it further, but for now he settled for dampening the hand-towel. He picked up a few more dry ones, a comb, and a palm-sized cake of soap.

He was a bit less cautious in his return, folding his knees beneath him as he knelt next to Lan Zhan, setting out his supplies on the table. He took a large towel first, gathering up his hair, so the soggy mess wouldn't soak through that white robe, and pat it dry, or at least, enough that it wouldn't continue dripping, before settling it around Wangji's shoulders.

Maybe he should have asked, but Lan Zhan had let him touch the headband before, so he reached for the knot at the back of his head, untying it with quick fingers before holding it out to Lan Zhan.

"Wouldn't do for your headband to get blood on it," he says by way of explanation, "I've got to comb your hair out a bit, make sure I clean it properly, okay?"

Lan Wangji gently combs through his hair with fingers as he pulls it to one side so it can be out of the way as Wei Ying washes his wound out. He tenses at first, when Wei Ying touches his headband, but he supposes that this is acceptable. Wei Ying, after all, had grown so brazen as to place a paper talisman of his soul on Lan Wangji's forehead, and had it lean over and tease him.

"Okay." At Wei Ying's suggestion, he carefully moves his hair back into place to become easier to comb, get all the knots out, maintain its silky shine and pin-straight thickness.

There is something comforting about being under Wei Ying's watchful attention, in a room like this. There is an incense burner on the table, and so even though they are not in the Cloud Recesses, he can still burn incense and when he closes his eyes, he forgets the hum of the electric machinery. He can pretend the doors are closed and so there is no wind. And his device can play all manners of sounds - bird calls, rain, night sounds - and he can fool himself; at least he is successful at night in the few moments before falling asleep.

"How does it look?"

He may not be a healer, but his fingers are used to delicate spells and talismans, and he is careful as he combs through the tangles, stopping occasionally to pretty the washcloth where blood has matted. Like most head wounds, it doesn't have to be deep or terrible to bleed a lot. And luckily the damage doesn't seem too bad, especially not for someone like Lan Zhan.

Still, he takes his time, cleans it carefully, then gives it a final comb-through.

"Don't worry Hanguang Jun, your jade perfection is still in-tact," he grins, finally leaning back to sit in a sloppy lotus pose at his side, leaning an elbow on the table.

"You might want to leave your hair down for a day or two though, so you don't agitate it," he suggested. Though it was hard to imagine Lan Zhan going out in public with his without every hair in place, topknot perfectly swept back.

"Looks a bit swollen, but I don't think you're concussed. As long as you don't decide to have any drunken parties tonight, I think you'll be fine."

Lan Wangji is grateful that he isn't more hurt, though it will be quite odd to walk around with his hair down. Usually, only Wei Ying sees him in such a state, though this one has not done, recently.

He reaches behind his head to touch very gently, feeling just how swollen it is and whether or not he should sleep on his side for a few days. He winces just slightly but makes no other sign that he's in pain.

"The swell is not too bad."

Now, with that said, and with his wound addressed, Lan Wangji gets up from his seat to go make tea because Wei Ying is his guest. Even in a place like this, even though he's just sustained a head injury, and even though this isn't really even his home, he won't eschew his personal way of life.

He remembers something the other Wei Ying had said to him, which was that their pasts had differed greatly. He thinks he ought to ask this one, in case there is a third Wei Ying. He cannot imagine three Wei Yings. "Do you remember the cave, where we met Lan Yi?"

A satisfied smile that he's barely even aware of sits on his lips when Lan Zhan approves of his work. With his hair down and such scant inner robes, Wei Wuxian doesn't think he's ever seen Lan Zhan with such a casual atmosphere, and while he knows it can't possibly last, he doesn't mind enjoying it for the moment.

There's... definitely a lot to talk about, and he's not sure if he's ready for what he'll hear. With over a decade between them now, how has he changed?

What he doesn't expect though, is to remember one of their earliest adventures together in Cloud Recesses. He sits up a little straighter, head in his hand as he studies Lan Zhan's features. It feels like a lifetime ago.

"Mn," he nods slightly, "we got dragged down from the healing pool. Took a few hits from that vicious chord technique of hers."

That's when they'd first been tasked with seeking out the Yin Iron, hoping to keep it from Wen clan hands til it could be purified or destroyed. Of course... things hadn't been as easy, nor simple.

"But you didn't call me here to reminisce about bunnies, did you?"

"You would think that..except the people we know are oddly perceptive. Lan Zhan knew almost immediately..and let's just say we get to enjoy a good crack of purple lightning on our back." A certain someone didn't take too kindly to the thought of Wei Wuxian having returned.

"The sad thing is..I didn't realize Lan Zhan knew until after.." He did some pretty shameless things..But all because he was trying to get his ass out of Cloud Recesses. "Well, it doesn't matter. I should have really known he wouldn't have been fooled so easy."

"Don't get me started on the tea...or the cookies. In fact, unless you eat it at the restaurant, avoid consuming anything. Especially in the game area." He starts trudging through the water towards the exit. He would like to somehow get some dry clothes.

"Follow me. There is a shop around here to get some dry clothes. They won't be what you are used to but at least we won't be wet and freezing."

"No," he admits, though he is satisfied to know that this history between them is intact, as it was one of the main things that was different between him and the other Wei Ying. Naturally, he'll have to ask more questions, but at least he is somewhat comforted.

"This place has a magic we do not understand. There are people from other times and other worlds. Multiple versions of ourselves with different histories. The Queen who has brought us here has not explained her goal for us, though she feeds off our emotions. She likes to play tricks that are so far, harmless. Yet, they have sealed our powers, and they have studied us."

This takes awhile for Lan Wangji to get through, since he usually only talks like two words a minute. This is possibly the most he's said in the last year. "We are from different times." How does he explain that he's from a not-so-distant future in which things work out and Jin Guangyao is to blame for those events that happened sixteen years prior? How is he supposed to explain that they are planning to go off together, traveling and hunting? How is he supposed to explain Sizhui, when he never gathered up enough courage to do so in the first place?

[He slowly shakes his head, eyes downcast. He doesn't deserve forgiveness for the things he has done and said.]

Talking hasn't been very good for us lately...

[Even if things aren't as tense as they were a few days ago, he still doesn't trust himself to be able to hold it together.]

He was pretty angry when he yelled at me. I think he might have been drinking the tea. But I believe hose teas just..let you say what you're feeling inside.

[ He wouldn't know, he hadn't drunk the teas. But he can't imagine a situation he would yell at Wei Ying. They have already had their differences, their arguments.

Most of which stemmed from miscommunication. So he has learned to err on the side of trusting Wei Ying.

He asks: ]

What did he say?

It's complicated..but he called me a fool and said I was wasting my life and time here.

[But it was his fault. All of it. He pushed the other man away in the worst way. There was much more said between them but the root of the problem is with him and he knows it.]

He's right of course..I am a fool.

Wei Ying.... You are an idealist, but you are no fool.

[ The tea must've really pissed him off, made him say things he didn't mean. How could he convey this to Wei Ying? ]

[He pushes himself to his feet and goes to look out at the fake outdoor area that the room has. It's amazing how similar the place looks. He leans against the opening.]

If my ideals are foolish then isn't that the same?

I do not think so.

[ He gets up as well, to check on the tea. ]

Since when does Wei Ying care what others think of him?

I don't, but when it comes to what you think it seems that part of me does care.

[The rest of the world can just go right on hating him. But when it comes to Lan Wangji..he feels like this man's approval means everything. But now, he feels like it would be better for him if Wei Wuxian never existed.]

"It's not too bold to ask. I could teach, but not right now." His spiritual energies are sealed by this place, so it's odd and he couldn't find the reasons why. Even the locals are not helpful in that regard. It's a puzzlement by itself. "Because my powers are sealed."

Huh, why she's apologizing? "Don't apologize. I simply don't have all the answers to this place."

He took a moment to think. "I like to think so, yes, but I haven't spoken to the other people from other worlds, but they spoke of it on the network. So your worlds have goddesses and mine has gods. This world of Wonderland must be a different dimension."

[ Lan Wangji takes the tea to the table, and calmly pours them both cups. ]

Those words were said purely in anger.

You are the person he holds in highest regard.

[ He knows he's giving a lot of information away that he never wanted to... but Wei Ying needs to know. ]

[He sighs and hands his head.][He knows just how much Lan Wangji feels about him. It's the whole reason all of this started. Because he is a fool that didn't know how to accept them.]

I...did something unforgivable. He told me how he felt and I..kicked him out.

[It's so much more complicated then that but it's a story too embarrassing to reveal.]

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Page 44 of 61

TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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