funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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He tried to tell himself that it wasn't quite so. Lan Wangji just... didn't deserve to have his name dragged through the mud. He'd been one of the few people to visit him in the Burial Mounds, and though they'd fought at the Nightless City, he'd still tried to save Wei Wuxian, hadn't he? How his reputation must have been tarnished for that...

"Mm," he nodded his acceptance, even if he didn't like it. He could hardly call his own logic into question.

"The only change is the appearance then?" he puzzled. "I mean, it seems you'd have a much easier time hiding who you are. Even I didn't recognize myself."

Wei Wuxian finds he's once again in agreement with himself though, as the thought of a good drink to help all of this go down easier would be a blessing indeed.

"Or tea," he adds, not wishing to experience that again anytime soon. His lips twist into a crooked smile, "Tell me they still serve decent drink here."

"You would think that..except the people we know are oddly perceptive. Lan Zhan knew almost immediately..and let's just say we get to enjoy a good crack of purple lightning on our back." A certain someone didn't take too kindly to the thought of Wei Wuxian having returned.

"The sad thing is..I didn't realize Lan Zhan knew until after.." He did some pretty shameless things..But all because he was trying to get his ass out of Cloud Recesses. "Well, it doesn't matter. I should have really known he wouldn't have been fooled so easy."

"Don't get me started on the tea...or the cookies. In fact, unless you eat it at the restaurant, avoid consuming anything. Especially in the game area." He starts trudging through the water towards the exit. He would like to somehow get some dry clothes.

"Follow me. There is a shop around here to get some dry clothes. They won't be what you are used to but at least we won't be wet and freezing."

He'd glimpsed Hanguang Jun from a distance, back in Mo Village, and come across him briefly in the forest when he'd met Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng, but luckily, he'd made his escape before things could escalate too far. But he was right, Lan Zhan was more perceptive than most. He's not entirely sure how he'd know, but of the handful of people he didn't want to run into right away, he'd certainly been high on the list for that very reason.

"That or we're not as good at pretending as we thought," he sniffed, then gave a crooked smile. No, that couldn't be it, of course. But ugh, the thought of having purple lightning to look forward to was as unpleasant as it was expected.

"Jiang Cheng seems ready to chase down anyone just for using a couple of papermen," he groans, following the smaller Wei Wuxian.

"Ah-! Wait, wait, so Lan Zhan knew from the start and let us act a fool?" it was worse than he could have thought. Just how long had he played the part of Mo Xuanyu, acting crazy and spouting nonsense before Lan Zhan admitted he'd known?

He made mental note about the food and drink, having experienced one earlier, and had no desire to repeat that anytime soon.

"I've noticed a lot of strange clothing styles... so there's nowhere to find anything like back home?" while some of the clothing looked comfortable, others looked downright strange. He was happy to play along and try something new, either way.

They are definitely terrible actors. As for how he knew..Wei Wuxian is starting to get an idea of how he found out but still can't confirm it. And of course Lan wangji refuses to tell him outright.

"Yeah..and he's every bit as pissed off as he was all those years ago." His back aches just thinking about it. "Oh..and be prepared. Jin Ling has a dog." The shudder is obvious as it runs straight down his spine.

Oh the things he did...act a fool is putting it lightly. "I don't know how long he lets you believe your act was good but for me it was a pretty long time. I thought for sure by playing off the fact Mo Xuanyu was gay that I would be able to get kicked out of Cloud Recesses." Oh the regrets...

"I'm assuming Mo Xuanyu was gay in your world too." He stops and realizes that it might not be the case. He slowly turns to look at the other. He'll have to answer the clothing question later.

He let out a groan. Of course, Jiang Cheng never forgot a slight, and Wei Wuxian had wronged him in the worst of ways. It was only a wonder this other Wei Wuxian had felt the sting of purple lightning and Jiang Cheng's anger and still survived. At least there was hope for him, he supposed.

"Even Jin Ling has a dog?" he winced. He'd thought purple lightning would be a problem, but a dog now too? Did nothing good happen after he'd revived? Or was it all just a string of bad luck?

As if that weren't enough to wrap his mind around, there was the added bit about Mo Xuanyu he hadn't known. If that were true... certainly someone would've mentioned it to him by now? He'd known Mu Xuanyu was thought to be mentally ill, that his family had been disappointed in him, bullied him to the point he'd thought the Xianshe was a good idea.

His mouth starts to form an 'o' of understanding as a few things begin to fall into place, namely how this Wei Wuxian had such knowledge of Hanguang Jun's sleeping habits, details even he wasn't aware of. And it makes sense... it's not like the Mo family would be forthcoming about it, but also... wouldn't Mo Ziyuan have taken every opportunity to bully him and hurl insults if that were the case?

"That... I don't know," he crossed his arms, trying to think if he'd missed some detail, but he was sure he would have caught it, especially if it were a well-known fact, as the other Wuxian said.

"I played the fool, true enough, but no one mentioned anything about Mo Xuanyu's preferences," he explained, "there was barely anything to piece together from what was left of his room."

He put a hand to his face though, feeling as if he would regret asking, "I... just what did you do?"

Wei Wuxian looks at his soul twin in horror. How did that one get lucky enough to keep his body AND not have to deal with the fact that the body he occupied was...okay so maybe the two things went hand in hand. For him those facts had been made pretty clear almost as soon as the first kick was felt by his side upon waking up.

"heh..well..where I am from he was gay and being cast off and shunned by his family is what made him crazy. Sooo..you would have known." Just his luck.

As for the question, he resumes trudging through the water. "I'm going to need a drink before we dive into that if you really do want to know how shameless we are."

He pauses at the exit and talks to the staff that are already trying to keep the water from drenching the whole area. He indicates the one behind him had some clothing that got washed away in the waves and asks that they be found and taken to his room when they get a chance. He smiles and talks with each of them briefly before waving as he heads down the hall towards the shop. He has made every effort to meet all of the staff in the hopes that eventually it might lead to information about this place. So far they aren't terribly forthcoming but it doesn't hurt to have a few allies in a strange place.

The look of abject horror was enough to worry him, even if he was wary of his own tricks after that first bit of teasing. Just how badly off had this other version of himself been? Just what had he done?

"Mmm," he agreed, "I know he was cast out from Jinlin Tower, but it seemed to have more to do with his lacking cultivation skills... but I don't think his family needed much reason to treat him so terribly."

He doesn't have to try hard to imagine the depths they might have sunk to. After all, if he were trying to play the part of Mo Xuanyu, knowing that, trying to get himself kicked out of Cloud Recesses...

Wei Wuxian gives a short nod in understanding and follows along to the shop. He nods politely in the right places, of course, knowing just how useful local information can be.

The staff hand them towels as they go by so that they aren't at least tracking water through the rest of the hotel and Wei Wuxian dries off as he walks.

"Yeah his family wasn't made up of very nice people. But I imagine you already experienced that. Between the family and the servants that are all too eager to also cast blame they were pretty awful people." Not that they necessarily deserved to die but he didn't do that, the arm did. So he got out of most of the curse without even lifting a finger.

He leads the way down the hallway towards the boutique, using that towel to try and wring some of the water from that long ponytail once he is done drying his body.

The towel is welcome, big, and fluffy, and he wraps it around his shoulders, tossing his hair out behind him. To say Mo Xuanyu's family were awful was an understatement. He didn't know them well enough to be sure, but his experience with them was enough to keep him from feeling much pity.

"Right, right, it's as you say," he agreed. Though it was frustrating that neither knew how he might take care of that last curse mark, but he was sure he'd figure that out in time. For now, he was a little more preoccupied with taking in the sights.

"I hardly expected Lan Zhan to show up so soon though," to think he just happened to be nearby. Luck was never on his side, was it?

"Lan Zhan has a way of finding trouble without trying to. It must be some sort of Lan skill." He found him and he is definitely trouble. So either he has a very distinct scent that the man can track, or he is just destined to end up by the man's side.

"He was mostly around to make sure the disciples were okay. They were tracking some pretty powerful spirits. They are talented kids but they still have a lot of learning to do."

He tried to help them learn as much as they could while in Yi City and he was proud of how quick some of them caught on. But they are young and it shows.

"I don't know how much of your future you want to know..but the first fierce corpse that we summon is Wen Ning. That was probably a pretty big tip off and brought every big cultivator running." It had shocked him to see the man considering he should have been nothing but ashes.

"It has to be. No wonder he finds us so easily. And always seems to know when rules are being broken," he nods sagely, as if there can be no greater truth.

"Mm, they picked up hints quickly enough. I only had to point out the strange arm once before one of them caught on," he agrees. He'd been surprised enough to see that even the Lans now used his spirit luring talisman too. What a strange welcome it'd been.

As he was lost in those thoughts, he had to stop mid-step once his other self mentioned Wen Ning. That couldn't be possible!

"Wen Ning?!" he couldn't help his outburst. Wen Qing and Wen Ning had been little more than ashes, scattered to the winds. How was Wen Ning the first summoned?

"How is that possible?"

"I wish I knew how it was possible. But..it seems he was never turned to ash. He was kept by the Jin sect and somehow...Xue Yang got a hold of him."

He doesn't even fully understand how that happened, and it's one of the biggest mysteries as to how that kid was able to hammer two nails into Wen Ning's head without him acting out. He had some very strong helpers at his disposal.

"When he showed up he was wrapped in special chains that wouldn't come off and he didn't have his consciousness. He was being controlled by two nails in his head. But he still came when I called so enough of him was still and recognized his original master."

And somehow he was the one always cast as the villain. The Jin clan was hardly different from the Wens in all the ways that mattered. Despicable. To think Wen Ning had been kept, imprisoned while he was gone for so long.

"Xue Yang?" he sniffed. He'd heard little to nothing about the man, not since they'd left him in the Unclean Realm and he'd escaped during the Wen's attack. He'd seen the aftermath of Song Lan's run-in with him, while they'd stayed with Wen Qing, but if he never had to see that smirking brat again, he wouldn't regret it.

"Mm, he's not just any fierce corpse, but for him to be treated like that..." he was going to have to start keeping a list of all the people to pay a visit to when he returned.

"Trust me..he's more trouble then you think. Lan Zhan and I just left Yi City..and we end up encountering him again. He has been pretty busy since we were out of commission."

He'll never forgive him for what he did to Xiao Xingchen..but there isn't much he can do about it either. The brat is dead and so one less bad guy to deal with. "I don't know much beyond that honestly..I arrived here shortly after dealing with him."

So the rest of their future is a mystery that only the one Lan Wangji knows. "I wonder how dangerous it is for us to find out about our futures..."

One would think it wouldn't be a great thing to do, but also..if it could keep them from making past mistakes it might also be beneficial. He spots the shop up ahead and points at it. "Everything is free so just pick whatever you want."

"With sixteen years to cause problems, I don't doubt it."

He'd been plenty of trouble already. It was a pity they hadn't arrived in time to stop his slaughter in YueYang, but to hear he was still making a nuisance of himself for this Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian... ugh.

"I hadn't even met face to face with Lan Zhan after being revived," he admitted, "so anything at all seems helpful."

The longer they could stay out of sight, the easier it would be to find out more information. If he was constantly ducking hostile forces, it sounded much more difficult to figure things out.

He followed himself to the shop, giving his smaller self a skeptical look, "I did say I was revived just the other day, not that I was born yesterday."

Everything is free? Ha! Like he'd fall for that!

"No seriously..everything here is free. Food, drinks, our rooms, clothing..those stupid games in the game area. They don't charge us anything. Just pick what you want and it's yours."

Apparently currency means nothing here, which is also why it doesn't matter what you do in the casino. Since the money is meaningless..they don't care if you win lots of it. It makes playing the games rather boring.

He wanders in and tries to look for something simple just so he can have something dry on his body for going to the bar. Of course his go-to is black so he is migrating to the racks that have a lot of black and red in them.

"At least we don't have to rely on Lan Zhan to buy everything for us."

"Sounds like there's a catch."

He really wants to be suspicious, but he's not a very good liar, right? And the hotel staff had already given him those other free things, like a room and whatever that device was, and that bag of toy coins...

Still, he casts himself a suspicious glance before joining in to look at the clothing. It's... strange, honestly. The styles are unfamiliar, and while he's all for trying something new, he can't say he's sure how to even wear some, or how the sizing works, but black is always a good option.

He finds a pair of loose black pants that seem to have a drawstring rather than ties, but they look comfortable, and best of all, dry. It's a start.

"I'm sure Lan Zhan will relieved," he grins.

"They catch is they get to drown us in the pool, make us rage with emotion teas, and have to deal with whatever crazy things they throw at us. And we have to do it with no one to complain to."

This Wei Wuxian has already had to deal with the uncertainty over the clothing selection once so he has a pretty good idea what he doesn't want to wear. When he finally finds pants he stares at the ones his other is selecting and puts them back. They might be soul twins..but they don't need to be dressed like twins. Realizing he doesn't have to be a perfect fashion specimen to go to the bar, he quickly selects something that looks rather akin to pajamas. Very comfortable looking wide leg black pants in a soft material and a red tshirt. He carries his new found goodies towards the changing rooms.

"He finally doesn't have to worry about paying for everything. Especially considering we are even more broke now then before we were brought into these bodies." He didn't take anything but a donkey from the Mo family.

"You make a very compelling point," he acknowledges. He'd been under the impression that the shops might be separate, some folks just trying to make a living, but to hear they were just part of the same entity responsible for their early dunking...? Yeah, some dry clothes were the least they were owed, in his opinion.

"And to think Hanguang Jun is just as destitute as we are here, that must have been a shock!" he can't help a laugh.

Wei Wuxian watches as his double picks a few things and leaves before searching for anything like robes. He eventually finds a red brocade shirt that he pairs with a loose black one, and a wide black belt.

Search as he might, there's not a shoe to be found in the shop though, and he has to give it up before heading to the changing rooms.

It doesn't take him long to change and he comes out with his damp bathing trunks and takes them up to the staff at the counter. He hands them over so they can be cleaned and dried and taken to his room. He then finds a chair to plop down into to wait for his soul twin.

The staff brings him another towel so he can further dry his hair while he waits. That long ponytail likes to hold a lot of water and the staff even brings him a dry hair ribbon. He has spent a lot of time chatting with the staff his few times in the room so they are more then willing to help him. He changes out his ribbon and they put his with the wet suit to be laundered.

The fabric is nice, even if it's not as fitted as his usual hanfu, but the belt helps. He looks in the mirror and tries to fix his tangle of hair, re-tying his ribbon, though it feels like a lost cause.

Once dressed, it doesn't take him long to spot his twin, and he hurries over, grinning.

"Hey, I'm curious," his smile grows mischievous as he nears the other Wei Wuxian.

"Which of us can drink most? I don't think we've ever had worthy competition."

Now that is just not fair. He's in a different body. Who knows what Mo Xuanyu can handle! But he does enjoy a challenge and the smile he returns is one just as mischievous.

"Guess it is a good thing the drinks are free. Because they haven't met anyone who can drink like us. And I'm going to out drink you by twice as many."

He stands up and tilts his nose into the air in confidence. They definitely haven't met anyone else who could possibly come close to drinking like they can. Finally a worthy challenger has appeared!

"The drinks here have a little more kick then the wine back home. You better prepare yourself."

He's well aware of the advantage, or rather, his perceived advantage. Is Mo Xuanyu much of a drinker? He'd think perhaps his size might help, but look at Lan Zhan, he was close to Wei Wuxian's size and couldn't even handle a single cup!

Either way, it sounded like it would be a fun time, and best of all, a way to forget his current troubles.

"Twice as many?" he scoffed, "so cocky already. As if I'm scared of wine with a little more kick! I welcome the challenge!"

He's quick to fold his arms across his puffed-out chest. It was hard to worry about losing face if Wei Wuxian would be the winner either way.

"Let's go get started!" Luckily there are two Lan Zhan's around to carry them back to their rooms if they get to wasted they can't find their way around the hotel. Because neither one is likely to stop before they reach that point.

With a wave towards the staff, he heads out towards the bar. It's not a long walk luckily. This is another place that he tends to frequent when he is not at the pool so the staff almost always is ready to get him whatever he desires. He has started to try everything just to see what he might actually like more then wine.

He hops up to the bar and sits on one of the stools, "Now..to keep it fair we obviously have to drink the same drink. Should we stick with one drink and go with that until we have a winner, or should we switch it up with each round? The amount of different drinks here, outdoes anything we have ever seen at home."

An excited cheer erupts as he follows Wei Wuxian to the bar, grateful for small miracles that came in the form of small bottles. Anything at all that feels familiar now, including the heady buzz of alcohol is welcome, right along-side forgetting all his troubles at the bottom of a cup.

The layout of this bar, like everything else here is foreign and strange, but he follows his other self over to one of the tall seats.

"Aah, I'll have to concede that Wei Wuxian has excellent taste, so I won't have to worry. Let's see what this place has to offer! We might as well try some new things, that's half the fun!"

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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