𝐻𝒜𝒫𝒫𝒴 𝐻𝐸𝒜𝑅𝒯𝒮 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝐹𝐹 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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funnyhearts2020-04-22 10:38 am
happyheartsstaff) wrote in funnyhearts2020-04-22 10:38 am
Entry tags:
TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)
HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL
You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.
But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —
A hotel lobby?
"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"
Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!
I. THE CASINO FLOOR
As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.
Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.
Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.
JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.
ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.
SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.
II. MAKING WAVES
If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!
There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.
But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!
There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.
But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!
III. EAT ME, DRINK ME
The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.
On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.
It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!
On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.
It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!
IV. WELCOME HOME
Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!
© tessisamess
Eat me, drink me
He feels validated in his paranoia when he sees Aziraphale shrunk down to about half his usual height. He greets him cheerfully, grinning from ear to ear. ]
Oh, angel, you're looking a bit down today.
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Very exasperatedly, he insists: ]
Push the button, Crowley. Please.
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[ He's trying not to laugh. There's just something about a miniature Aziraphale pouting up at him that is somehow making it very difficult for him to take the whole thing too seriously, and so he turns to push the button, disguising a laugh as clearing his throat.
Right then. Now that he could reasonably function. ]
So. This is a new look for you. Guessing it wasn't deliberate?
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[ And more importantly, being unable to get himself into a proper state after that. ]
Are you coming with me? I don't think I'll be able to see over the front de--
[ --Yeeeowch! Without looking, Aziraphale's stubbed his toe on the elevator door. He stumbles forward, grabbing the handle, trying not to shout. ]
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Bless it, Aziraphale, the things you get yourself into. How'd this happen anyway?
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And the next thing I know, I'm... short!
[ He seems so upset about this in a very classic, over-the-top Aziraphale way. ]
They should really put a warning on those!
[ He takes no personal responsibility for this happening. ]
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You have lost a few inches, I'll give you that. They don't just have, I don't know, another drink that'll fix it? Any growing cookies?
[ He pauses, remembering where they are. ]
...Or was it cakes for growing?
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I don't know, they probably do.
[ He looks back towards the table. ]
--What if I eat one, and I get even smaller?
[ Pocket Angel, Crowley. Pocket Angel! ]
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Not going there. Let's see if there's something that'll get you proper Aziraphale sized again yeah? Not sure you'd like to spend the rest of your days riding around in my pocket.
[ Not that Crowley would mind terribly. But he was mentally trying not to go there. ]
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[ He drops this casually. ]
But I think I'd rather be me-sized, yes.
And I would like a little cake.
[ There he is again, sorry you're stuck with him, Crowley. ]
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So where were you sampling the shrinking drinks? It seems like the best place to start for finding whatever will get you back to normal.
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[ Is Crowley getting taller? Or is Aziraphale getting... just a little bit... smaller? He keeps looking up, getting increasingly worried as he starts flapping his useless wings, trying to be able to look Crowley directly in the face. ]
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Right, come on then. I'll carry you over, see what we can find out.
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This was really quite embarrassing. ]
We're not talking about this once I'm bigger.
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[ Crowley was grinning in that way that said he was going to bring this up at some very inconvenient time when Aziraphale least expected it. ]
Never thought I'd have an angel sitting on my shoulder though.
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[ But he climbs onto Crowley's shoulders, now that he's about toddler-sized or small-dog sized. ]
I'm not too loud from here, am I?
[ His voice is definitely a little higher, now that his larynx is so small. ]
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Nope. Definitely not too loud.
[ When Aziraphale is about the size of a chihuahua, Crowley produces a bright red silk handkerchief from his breast pocket and drapes it over Aziraphale's shoulders. ]
If we somehow get separated, wear this. Should make you easier to spot, yeah?
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Good idea. Unless I shrink any more. Let's hurry up and get back to that table so I can grow a little bigger.
[ He holds onto Crowley tightly, because he wouldn't like to fall from this height, which is now quite a long drop without his wings. ]
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Crowley is about to lose his temper at the laughing patron when he suddenly sees Aziraphale arching through the air, plummeting towards the polished marble floors.
He dives.
It's not very elegant. More half-tripping over his gangling limbs as he extends his hands in a sort-of controlled fall. He catches Aziraphale midway, but winds up face-planting on the floor. There's a crack and Crowley tastes his own blood, but Aziraphale is still warm and breathing in his arms. A dislocated nose is a small price to pay for that. ]
Alright, angel...?
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And then, he realizes, that Crowley is bleeding as he props himself up on his arms and tries to get up. ]
Crowley? Crowley, are you alright?
[ He sits up and then crawls over, his tiny hands on Crowley's cheeks, trying to pull him up. ]
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[ Even tiny, Aziraphale's hands on his cheeks are oddly reassuring.
There is blood, probably a great deal of it, and his nose looks a bit crooked. It's always looked a bit crooked though, probably a side-effect of Crowley's many misadventures in trying to ride horses.
But Crowley manages a reassuring grimace, and gets to his feet, tucking Aziraphale close to his neck and secured in the safety of his blazer's collar.
No getting knocked off now. ]
It's not as bad as it looks, I'm sure. Let's get you sorted first, alright?
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[ He takes out a handkerchief with a fancy A embroidered on it, having shrunk in Aziraphale's pocket to be proportional to his miniature size. Giving no more thought to it, he sits up in Crowley's arms and starts to wipe up some blood coming out of his nose. ]
Can't seem to heal you, I'm afraid.
What were you thinking?
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[ Crowley has a rather dazed look on his face as he watches, cross-eyed as Aziraphale dabs away the blood. ]
Didn't want to let you fall is all. Would've - wouldn't have been pretty.
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[ Little mini Aziraphale fusses with Crowley's blood, and eventually realizes his handkerchief is just a little too small to do anything useful and is now just kind of moving it around. ]
We should go take care of this first in the loo.
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[ Being a servant of infernal forces leaves one with an odd threshold for how much blood is 'a little'. ]
Besides you're the one who's shrinking, potentially down to nothing. I'm not exactly bleeding to death.
[ And so it begins. The endless bickering between angel and demon. ]
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