funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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Lan Wangji is meanwhile surprised at how uneasy things were between them. It had sort of crept up on him, how quickly and easily Wei Ying had slotted back into his life.

He has hopes it might be the same here, with both of them. They're safe with him. And he feels safe like this, being carried to bed, arm around Wei Ying knowing he won't let go.

He will be alright with a little rest, but as soon as he gets put in bed and closes his eyes, he snaps them back open as he remembers. "Wei Ying-- you take the bed." He's the guest, after all, which means that Lan Wangji will take the floor tonight, head injury or no. In all honesty, the floor is probably softer, these beds are hard as heck.

Lan Wangji reaches out for him to help him up so he get get up, since he doesn't want a repeat of falling down on his ass again as soon as he tries. He does feel less dizzy now, but he assumes that it's meaningless as he's lying down.

Just as he's about to help ease Lan Wangji down onto the bed, when his Lan sense of propriety seems to kick in. Wei Wuxian could groan in frustration.

"Don't be ridiculous Lan Zhan," he shakes his head, trying to gently remove those reaching arms so that they'll fold neatly over his chest. He'd fallen over just standing up! With the luck they were having today, if he tried to sleep on the floor, he'd probably end up catching a cold or worse!

"You're injured, and on my account, no less," he tries to sound firm, hands around Lan Zhan's wrists as he tries to settle him on the bed.

Cold or not, he's a Lan. There's at least two blankets for them anyway, and his hair is wet so it'll be uncomfortable to wake up to anyway.

He attempts to pull away, but somehow he winds up with Wei Ying's hands on his wrists pushing against him and he - looks up at Wei Ying for a second with dazed eyes, heart beating so rapidly he isn't sure if the throbbing pulse has reached his ears or it's just loud enough for him to hear.

He surrenders, if only because he thinks fighting it will make this whole situation all the worse.

Eventually, he swallows down before saying: "Let go."

Right, right, Lan Zhan didn't like to be touched. He knew that, but he couldn't very well be responsible for worsening his condition either! Even more confusing is the look Lan Zhan gives him, is he that worried? It's not like Wei Wuxian would hurt him. It reminds him a little of the time they were stuck together in the caves with Xuanwu, when Lan Zhan's leg had been injured. He'd been so annoyed then too!

To his credit, Wei Wuxian does let go as soon as he's asked, even holding up his empty palms as if to prove his innocence.

"Alright, alright," he tries to be reassuring as he stands up again.

"Such an unreasonable patient," he sighs, "do I need to fetch someone else? Maybe you'll listen to your own reason if I can find the other one of you."

"No," he says, immediately. "Your clothes are wet." Yeah, that's obviously the only reason why it would be terrible if he left right now, because his clothes are wet and not because Lan Wangji can't stand to have this one go out on his account.

He's just not going to mention that Xichen is here somewhere, but honestly, he shouldn't burden his xiongzhang with such trivial matters as minor injuries. He hadn't been taken care of by Xichen while sick since he was very young, and he has already reminded his brother of a time when he was more helpless recently. No need to have his brother worry that he might be regressing into one of his odd states.

And having the other Lan Wangji come help? Well. At least he would understand.

No. Absolutely out of the question.

"Stay," he commands, thought immediately after he commands it, he glances to the side wondering if he should've asked nicer.

He did seem to be making about as much sense as when he was drunk. Maybe he'd hit his head harder than Wei Wuxian had thought...

But the response is quick and decisive and gives little room for argument.

"My clothes are, yes, but this robe isn't," he tries, not at all convinced it will earn him anything but a glare for even suggesting.

Wei Wuxian lowers himself back down, this time sitting on the floor right beside the bed. He props his elbow up, as he'd done at the low table, turning slightly to face Lan Wangji.

"Is that a command, or a request?" there's a teasing lilt to his smile.

Was Wei Ying truly going to step outside into a public hotel with nothing but a bathrobe on? Was he going to step out of Lan Wangji's hotel room with not even a pair of trousers on underneath his bathrobe?

Lan Wangji glares at the ceiling, because he doesn't want to turn his head and land on his injury. But at least Wei Ying can see how he glares from the side.

"It does not matter. You would not deny me either." Not for something like this, especially knowing that if he really did feel the need to leave, Lan Wangji would insist he put on some of the clothes he had bought with the other Wei Ying, and they would be quite tight in some odd places and quite loose in some others.

There, yes that was the look! It wasn't quite in his direction but it was close enough all the same. That he could still provoke such a look pleased him, even if he wasn't entirely sure why.

That wasn't what gave him pause though, the response was enough to leave his mouth hanging slightly open. Did he really just insist that Wei Wuxian would do whatever he asked? Even if it was true, he couldn't help losing some face to have it said aloud like that!

"What makes you so sure?" he rose to the bait, easily goaded as ever. Most anyone knew that the more someone insisted that Wei Wuxian do something, the more he'll want to do just the opposite! Not that he wanted to leave...

Lan Wangji could smile if he was having a better day. Wei Ying is, if not predictable, a soul that he knows. And going this place with him again feels like coming home after a long time abroad, to one's own bed, and one's own family.

There was nowhere for him to lose face, since it was just the two of them in here.

"You believe in me," he says, though he says it the same way that Wei Ying had asked him once upon a time, and also not yet. "Did you believe me?" Lan Wangji had never doubted him, and yet, somehow, still let others dictate how justice should be carried. Perhaps he shouldn't tell this Wei Ying as much as he has, perhaps he shouldn't show him what happens in a few months of being alive.

He knew the Lan sect didn't abide lying. But sometimes the things Lan Zhan could say so bold-faced... it made it difficult to meet his eyes. Wei Wuxian was the one struggling to swallow now, trying to sort out why those words made his chest feel tight. He turned aside, looking straight ahead now, and wishing he had a nice bottle to distract him, to make any of this easier.

"You should rest," he said softly, once he could trust his voice not to betray him. He didn't deny it, and clearly he didn't have to acknowledge that Lan Wangji was right. He brought his knees up a little closer to his chest, so he could rest his arms and head there.

It's a good thing that Lan Wangji can't look at him right now, because his hands are crossed over his chest as if he is about to sleep. He is getting rest, but it's not nine yet, so he isn't tired.

"Where will you sleep?" he asks, because there's room on the bed for two but he isn't going to offer and Wei Ying isn't going to ask. He doesn't even think he would if this one and his memories all matched up one by one, zippered up to each tooth. He isn't brave enough.

But it would be a shame to make Wei Ying sleep on the floor, though both have done similar things before. Not to mention, this was at least more comfortable than being severely injured in a cave with no idea when anyone would come for them.

The hotel does, however, have way too many pillows for some reason. He had only really ever slept with the one, but when he'd gotten to the bed, he'd hardly realized it for all the cushy cushions on it. He reaches out with one hand, to the side of the bed, and then underneath. How far back did he stick these...?

It was a pity he didn't know the Lan sect's silence spell. It was always so effective for avoiding conversations, especially when his defenses felt so low.

"I'll sleep when I'm tired," he assures. If it's too early for Lan Zhan, it's much much too early for Wei Wuxian. Well, maybe a nap wouldn't be out of place... it'd been a very exhausting day.

"I've slept on your roof, you think I can't sleep on your floor just as easily? Hanguang Jun has much better things to worry about than my sleeping habits."

That's true, and he bets his roof wasn't very comfortable with its bumpy clay tiles. Still, he roots around for the cushions and pulls one out. Then he goes back and finds another one. They're big, fluffy, hotel pillows, that look like they definitely have never belonged to Lan Wangji and would not be found at the Cloud Recesses. But that's probably why he'd stuffed them underneath the bed and out of sight.

He throws them towards Wei Ying. After all, there's plenty of room on his floor to set up a makeshift mattress. And if he so wishes, he can go sleep over by the receiving room area where Wangji his guqin is resting. He just has to pick which one he'd rather room with for the night.

If it wouldn't bore Wei Ying to death, he thinks perhaps that he would choose to meditate until it was time to sleep. It would make him feel more productive. Perhaps he could still sit up and compose, play Wei Ying a song or two.

"Will you be bored?" he asks, finally.

Wei Wuxian doesn't have to so much as glance in Lan Wangji's direction to know he's very much not resting, and he can only take another slow, resigned breath. A couple of pillows land at his side with a soft puff of displaced air and he glances over.

Every other moment, it seems, he has a new worry, all of them about Wei Wuxian. Is he alright, where will he sleep, is he bored? All without so much as a pause for his own condition. He's reminded even, of what he'd said only moments after seeing him in the pool. I should have stood by you.

That squeezing feeling returns to his chest, and he tells himself it's just an overactive sense of guilt. Lan Zhan had warned him every step of the way, had even tried to hide him away in Cloud Recesses, anything to stop him from careening down his dangerous path. But Lan Zhan had no reason for guilt.

"If I say yes, what then? Will you sing me a lullaby until I sleep?" he shook his head, but picked up the pillows all the same. One he set behind his back, where he leaned against the edge of Lan Zhan's bed, the other on his knees, so he could rest his head a bit more easily against them.

One time, when Wei Ying thought he wasn't listening, he once confided that he no longer cared whether or not Jin Guangyao was at fault or not for anything that had happened to him. It was long ago, and no one would change their minds about Yiling Laozu, even confronted with a new truth.

But he hadn't been resurrected that way. He'd needed time to heal, to get down that path.

It would be the right thing to tell him the truth, about what he knows of Jin Guangyao. But if he told Wei Ying the truth, who would benefit? He would carry anger in his heart, and it was very possible that he wouldn't heal. It is possible he would; Lan Wangji must accept that there are no impossibilities with Wei Ying; however, would the risk be too great?

He contemplates with himself the righteousness in lying.

He contemplates with himself the righteousness in choosing to spoil Wei Ying as if he is A-yuan, now that there is no little boy as a proxy to give toys and buy dinner for and ultimately love as his own.

"No," he responds, after a long period of reflection. "Wei Ying will sleep more deeply if I recite scripture."

Before he can go too far on such a maudlin train of thought, he's disrupted once again. Where he thought Lan Zhan might treat him to a song or two, instead he offers the tedious scripture of Gusu Lan. He doesn't even have to fake the look of disgust on his face. As if he wants to re-live the most boring recitation imaginable... besides, hadn't he memorized most of it after all those copied and recopied pages? Is he joking? Is he serious? Wei Wuxian can't be sure, but just the idea is enough for him to recall Lan Qiren's voice droning through a stuffy classroom.

"Anything but that," he moans theatrically, smothering his own face with the pillow.

There is always room for a refresher. Lan Wangji, of course, has a good memory and generally doesn't need to be told things multiple times, unlike Wei Ying who often forgets things like how he offered to carry Lan Wangji when he had a broken leg.

Still, he is not really serious, though he reaches over to try and pry the pillow off of Wei Ying's face.

He could sing a song for him, but he has only ever really sung the one song for Wei Ying, and after a long pause he yields to Wei Ying's request and hums it, though slowly as if humming a lullaby.

Before he has a chance to stifle his breathing, Lan Zhan is already pulling the pillow away, but he doesn't hide the face he's making. He lets Lan Zhan pull it away, wrinkling his nose childishly.

Even so, Lan Zhan doesn't start lecturing, and instead his soft voice drifts on the air with that so-familiar melody. It feels like he's even heard it in his dreams, just out of reach. It's comforting and soft, and the fact that Lan Zhan is the one singing it is somehow disarming. He takes the pillow back, putting it on the edge of the bed as he leans his head back onto it, slouching lazily against the bedframe. His eyes drift shut and he finds himself humming along in quiet harmony.

It did mean a lot to him that Wei Ying remembered the song, of all things that he'd forgotten. He'd forgotten all manner of people, things that had been said, gifts that had been given... But he remembered Lan Wangji's song to him.

Maybe they could finish it this once without getting interrupted.

It doesn't escape him, how in sync they sound. How much they're in perfect harmony if just for this one part, for the sake of this song. It might have been a rocky afternoon, and his head still hurt a little, but if nothing would help him heal, there was this and there was time.

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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