funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 002

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TEST DRIVE MEME 002

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

You haven't been at the hotel long when you run into another Oyster. Hardly unusual for the hotel, after all. But there's something about this person, something that draws you in. Do you know them? Perhaps they're from your world, perhaps you've seen them around the hotel before, or perhaps you've never met at all?

No matter. Hopefully you enjoy this person's company, because suddenly you're unable to go more than a few feet away from each other. Maybe it's like a cord that snaps you both back together when you try, invisible but somehow there all the same. Maybe it's a feeling, a desire to stay together, a fear of being apart. Maybe it's physical pain when you're separated, and the sensation of comfort or pleasure when you're together. Maybe it's any combination of the above.

Whatever it is, looks like you'll be getting to know each other very well. The connection doesn't appear to be going away any time soon.

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

It seems the hotel is a little short-handed at the moment. Why? Oh, no particular reason. These things happen to every establishment, of course. But since you're here, would you mind lending a hand? It's a two person job, and the staff member giving out assignments is just far too busy to help. Find a partner and report to your assigned area! They're preparing for something very exciting the Queen is putting on for guests. And of course, you'll be rewarded for your assistance.

There are a number of possible tasks that you could be assigned to.

Perhaps you'll be asked to assist with food preparation. You and your partner will be granted temporary access to the back area of the buffet to work with the kitchen staff — you can cook, can't you? Well. Perhaps you can put together some sandwiches. It will soon be clear that the food you're helping to prepare is all things that would be perfect for a picnic. Staff members will cheerfully inform anyone asking questions that the food is for the Queen's special surprise.

Or perhaps you'll be put to work sorting and cataloging a large inventory of items. Sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, toiletries, first aid kits, fire starting materials; all must be counted and sorted. A staff member will hand out a number of backpacks, and request that each be packed with one of every item. Not to worry about the size — each pack will have exactly enough room to store all the items.

Still others may be placed in a room lined with bookcases overflowing with books and loose leaf pamphlets. Examination of these will find that all are related to identifying native Wonderland plant life. Some are about edible plants, some discuss those that are medicinal, or poisonous, or likely to try to eat you should you get too close. Buried in all of that, you may even stumble across a particular poem. You will be given heavy card paper, pens and water colors, and tasked with condensing the information into portable, easy to read info packets.

At the end of the work shift, anyone who assists will have the expressed gratitude of the staff members they supported. They will also find an additional item from home, aside from what they were carrying with them, waiting for them in their room.

III. TIME TO UNWIND

What better way to unwind after a long day of work than with a massage? A staff member will hand you a token for the hotel spa. Yes, yes, all services are free, but this is an enhanced service. Premium massage oils, access to a relaxing tea, the devoted attention of the most skilled massage therapist, all for you.

When you arrive to take advantage of the offer, you'll find another Oyster waiting there as well. Did the staff member not mention it was a couple's massage? Oh dear, it must have slipped their mind. Or perhaps they just assumed, given how so many of you Oysters seem to be in pairs. Well, you're both here, you might as well take advantage of it.

Or perhaps something that gets the heart pumping is more to your speed than relaxation. A staff member may excitedly tell you about a rave occurring at the The Rabbit Hole nightclub. Invitation only, of course, but the staff member is happy to tell you the code to get in.

There is indeed a party in full swing at the club that night. Live music, flashing lights, alcohol flowing freely, the works. You may find that the alcohol packs more of a punch than you're used to. You may even find that drinks that are supposed to be nonalcoholic, ones that you've had before in other parts of the hotel, suddenly pack quite a punch as well.

It's all in the name of enjoying yourself, right? Hopefully you won't be too hungover in the morning.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

For purposes of the TDM, you're welcome to play with having more than one linked partner! If you choose to app in the next round after playing on the TDM, there will be an extra add on to the application for you to claim your additional item from home. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lan Wangji would never freely admit that he really likes the rabbits that dot the mountains behind his home. He would also never freely admit that, now that Lan Yi is gone, he is the one who fashions new headbands for the kits, and that some of his fondest memories are of placing A-Yuan in the middle of a colony of curious white bunnies.

He is surprised when he sees a little gray one by the elevator, looking quite lost and also as if it had rolled around in smoke. Oh no, it's cute...

Slowly and calmly he walks around, and lowers himself down not to scare the poor thing, gently reaching out to scoop it up into his arms, careful not to startle it. "You are not supposed to be here," he admonishes, though there's no bite in his tone. He is, after all, speaking to a rabbit.

He approaches the elevator, and does in fact, decide to take the rabbit downstairs.

To the dining hall. To get it some lettuce and carrots. And possibly ask any of the guests if they are missing a lovely charcoal rabbit with cute beady eyes and somehow looks like it's naturally smiling. Okay, maybe he won't give such a detailed description.

There is something rather ironic about the fact that he has spent most of the last couple weeks being carried by one Lan Wangji or another...only to be mostly healed and suddenly find himself being carried by him again. He certainly can't complain. There are no better arms to be in, whether human or rabbit.

He's not sure how well emotion can be seen on a bunny face, but he snuggles down into those arms, ears flicking back and forth whenever Lan wangji says anything. He wonders how long he can keep up this game before he actually breaks character and ends up talking. He's going to at least have first hand experience as to how much Lan Wangji likes rabbits.

He doesn't really know how he looks since he couldn't see in a mirror once he had shrunk, but he can see himself in the reflection of the elevator doors and he actually perks up at little as he looks at it.

Ah..I make a cute rabbit...

His head moves back and forth as he looks at himself from various sides, probably looking like he is interested in the second rabbit. As the doors open, he hunkers back down into those arms.

Lan Wangji notices his interest and brings him closer to the reflective surface to check himself out, smiling softly to himself that the rabbit wants to meet its friend who looks just like him.

And he does notice that this rabbit is clingier than the others, as if it wants to keep Lan Wangji all to himself. Well, that was fine by him.

"Stay still," he commands, as he places Wei Ying into a fold of his shirt just like Nie Huaisang had done once upon a time with a bird cage. He doesn't think they'll allow him to bring the rabbit into the buffet area, after all.

This totally doesn't look suspicious at all.

He heads straight to the salad bar, and picks out just carrots and lettuce. This also doesn't rouse suspicion, and he quickly exits to find an empty hall in which to feed his new friend who happens to be his oldest friend.

He squirms quite a bit inside that fold until he finds a place that doesn't feel like he's tangled up or about to fall out. His ears flatten against his body as he tries to move his head around in order to see anything at all but his world is rather dark at the moment.

That strange lump in Lan Wangji's shirt has a developed a small fear of enclosed spaces as of late. He can feel him walking around though and so he tries to sit as still as he can while the other man does whatever he is planning.

What are you doing Lan Zhan...why do I smell food..AH! Dining hall..oh no...he's going to make me eat rabbit food..

Minor backfire in the plan...looks like he's going to be eating his vegetables today.

Lan Wangji, once he gets to the hallway, takes a seat and sets out a cup of water and a plate of vegetables, placed in a pretty display even though he knows the rabbit doesn't care.

He lays out the lovely spread and then, with a surprisingly gently touch, takes the rabbit out from the folds of his clothes and gently smooths out his coat before placing him down in front of the snacks.

"Go ahead," he says. "It's all yours."

He is pressed up against that wonderful heartbeat that he enjoys listening to so much and it seems even louder with these big ears he now has. He can sense the movement and the smell of food goes away. Finally he gets to enjoy the light again as he gets removed from those robes and placed on the ground. He looks up at Lan Wangji before hoping over to the plate.

Uggg..I don't want it..

But he can't just turn his nose up at it..Lan Wangji got it for him. He wonders just how strange this is going to be..

He nibbles on the end of the carrot, realizing that this is going to be the longest meal of his life...

He tries to take a bigger bite but his mouth is only able to do so much. Those ears flick in annoyance as only a few shaving of carrot end up in his mouth. He gives up on the carrot and latches onto the piece of lettuce which is terribly bland..but at least he can tear this a little easier.

You should have grabbed some spices Lan Zhan..

Rabbits don't eat spices. Rabbits eat leafy greens, and carrots are a treat because they're high in sugar. He can see the rabbit growing annoyed, and immediately feels alerted to gently pick him up again.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Too hard?" With soft eyes and a softer touch, he massages the sides of Wei Ying's mouth to open it up and get a good look at the state of his teeth. Perhaps they haven't been taken care of and he's been fed too many sweets. Then, he might be in pain eating hard root vegetables.

But no, his teeth appear to be fine. Lan Wangji even eats a piece of carrot to inspect it, and finds it passable, if a little more bland than the ones that grow in the Cloud Recesses.

"Does your stomach hurt?" he asks, settling Wei Ying down and starting to massage his tummy by moving it back and forth, in case he needs to alleviate gas pain.

When his mouth gets forced open to look at his teeth he becomes mildly appalled. It's a gently touch but still feels weird.

Is this how you treat the others back home?

His little feet paw at the air as his carrot gets eaten. Smaller pieces are exactly what he needs until he can get used to this whole weird set of rabbit teeth.

bite it off for me Lan Zhan...wait..what are you..

And suddenly he is getting a massage. Now this he can get used to. He doesn't have gas pain but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate the way those hands are taking care of him. That back foot starts to thump against the floor and the air.

I can't even control my body.

Too late, now bunny Wei Ying is getting a tummy rub. He seems to like it, if his thumping is any indication, which is quite good and well, though nothing appears to be happening.

Hmm... what a mystery. He's never known a rabbit to turn down a carrot before. Perhaps he should have gotten an apple instead.

But he finishes, slightly concerned, and guides Wei Ying towards the lettuce. It is soft to eat, and Lan Wangji can eat the carrots so as not to waste them. "We should look for your owner, after this."

He hops back over to the lettuce and continues to nibble on it. He will never be able to understand how anyone..even rabbits..can enjoy this. This meal is not going to be very satisfying at all.

Give me the carrot back, Lan Zhan..anything is better then this.

He hops over to the hand with the little remaining carrot and sticks his nose on it as if claiming it as his own. He tries to gnaw on it again, hoping that maybe with perseverance he can figure this out. Finally a small piece breaks off and he chews on it victoriously.

You're my owner, Lan Zhan. You don't need to look..you better not give me to any strange people who claim I belong to them.

Because he is not afraid to change back right in front of them..naked or not.

Good thing that's not happening anytime soon, because Lan Wangji is too wary to give him over to anyone who just claims him.

He reaches for a carrot to find that his feisty little rabbit has decided to stake his claim, and he lets it go. He does, however, pet the rabbit on his head.

"In the meantime, I will give you a name." This is very important, because all the rabbits have to get names, and nobody is ever around to hear Lan Wangji actually referring to them all by their monikers. That would be embarrassing. This is a secret.

After a moment's thought, he settles on: "Gui bei."

He leans into that petting as he continues to nibble on his prize. At least this has more flavor then the lettuce. Lan Wangji can keep the lettuce.

He looks up at him as he thinks about that name, curious to see what kind of name the other will come up with. He wonders if all the rabbits back at Gusu have names.

His ears twitch as he lets that name roll around in his mind. It's cute..why does Lan Wangji have to have such a cute side?

You think I'm someone else pet but you give me such a cute name. You don't really want to give me up.

The minute you name something it becomes far more embedded in one's heart. He bops his head against that hand in an attempt to show him that he likes it.

He pulls away when Wei Ying gives him a gentle headbutt, and looks down at him. Did he ... is he trying to communicate with him?

"Do you know who your owner is?" he asks, not really expecting an answer.

What a cute rabbit.

He'll sit and wait for it to finish its snack, staying close to watch over it. He had, after all, seen a big snake around here the other day.

I could answer you but that ends all my fun. Looks like our adventure today is you trying to figure it out.

It's hard to believe a carrot can be so filling...his stomach must be tiny.

He finishes the carrot and hops over to the water bowl. He dips his head into it and it takes a few seconds of trying to figure out the best way to go about this. His neck is almost too short so he puts both front feet on the bowl to try and get to the water easier. Unfortunately that makes the bowl rather unbalanced and the longer he drinks, the more the other side of the bowl lifts into the air. A spill is almost inevitable.

"Ah, careful," Lan Wangji says, watching this display. He moves the vegetables to one side of the plate and then pours the cup of water into it, making a shallow pool impossible to topple over.

He gives Gui Bei a little pat on the rump and leaves him to it, content to be taking time to take care of the little rabbit for now.

That little pat makes his ears flick.

Getting handsy with a rabbit, Lan Zhan? Shame on you.

He hops over to the water and finishes his drink. Much easier now that it is on the plate. He's starting to get the hang of this rabbit thing. Once finished he hops back over to Lan wangji, putting his front paws on his leg.

Hold me again, Lan Zhan. I know you want to.

He likes being in his arms. It's warm and comfortable there.

If he didn't know better, he'd think the rabbit was asking to be held. Well, alright. He scoops the little ghostly gray bun into his arms and picks up the plate to be left outside the dining hall on a spare cater table.

"I'll have to find something soft for you to nest on," he muses, in case he doesn't find its owner by the end of the day. He'll need somewhere to sleep, a little rabbit's den.

"Don't be upset if you need to stay with me awhile." It seems that when he's alone with rabbits, he has no reason to put up the usual cold demeanor that he puts up for humans.

I definitely won't be upset by that.

He settles in his arms again. He wonders how long he can do this before he starts to feel guilty about how much Lan Wangji is getting attached to his bunny form.

You are very nice to rabbits, Lan Zhan. I'm not that surprised. I always knew you had a softer side.

He shoves his little bunny noise against him affectionately nuzzling against his chest.

Does he want to go back into the folds of his shirt?

Lan Wangji loosens his robes a little in case the rabbit would like to go sit inside. It seems that as difficult as it is for him to get to know other people, rabbits can easily bypass that barrier.

"You must be tired now. You should sleep." He pets the little rabbit and rises to take it upstairs.

He wiggles his way back inside the robes, nesting in there. He likes being able to hear his heartbeat and it's comforting inside those robes.

I'm not tired Lan Zhan. I just woke up!

He isn't ashamed of his sleeping in tendencies. It does mean less time where he gets to be with Lan Wangji because of his early bedtime, but he still can't get used to the Lan sect's sleeping habits.

He doesn't know that, but he'd also be willing to play with his bunny for a little while longer.

Once he gets up to his room, he takes a seat on his bed, thinking that he could just let the rabbit sleep like this.

Hmm. No, still awake.

He checks his empathy and looks a little disappointed that he doesn't have texts, but then focuses his attention on his new friend. As long as no one is trying to get in touch with him and he's not going to sleep, he withdraws Gui Bei from his shirt folds and places him on his pillow.

"It seems no one has asked after you." He scratches him behind the ear. "It's alright."

He leans into the scratching. He wouldn't have thought having his head scratched would feel good but in this bunny form it certainly is enjoyable. He walks very slowly and carefully on the pillow, finding it difficult to move with those tiny feet just sinking into it.

Should I reveal myself to you? You look so happy to have a rabbit though..

He noticed him looking at the empathy and he realizes that he did not send his normal heart this morning..a little distracted by his new found ability. He also realizes that the heart will have to wait because he has no way to get back into his room since he has no pockets and therefore no key.

I think you are stuck with me for awhile.

He is, in fact, happy to have a pet rabbit. He is happy to have two Wei Yings, of course, but there are things he doesn't tell Wei Ying.

He lies on the pillow, head next to the rabbit, and looks over at him. He wonders then, what rabbits think. He reaches over to pet his little rabbit cheeks.

"I will have to move you to another pillow later," he warns. "This one is claimed." He states this calmly, and almost with a little pride. To a rabbit! So silly of him.

He scoots closer and flattens onto the pillow with his back legs sticking out behind him. His ears flop down to frame his face as he gets comfortable. He nudge's Lan Wangji's nose with his own.

As if you would kick this adorable body out of your bed...

He isn't going to be able to resist this much longer. But at least he still gets to admire Lan Wangji's handsome features up close this way. How can anyone, human or animal, resist this man? All the rabbits at Gusu are probably in love with their proud father.

He wouldn't want to, but Wei Ying might, and Lan Wangji would not want to stop him.

He wonders if Gui Bei is trying to sniff him out and lets him do so, come invade his space and get used to his smell to see if he's safe, trustworthy, or just to remember who he is.

As Gui Bei comes closer, he lifts his chin just a little bit, and pecks his cute twitching nose. But then goes back to letting him nuzzle into his nose and get a good feel for him.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

III. TIME TO UNWIND

IV. WELCOME HOME

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