funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 002

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TEST DRIVE MEME 002

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

You haven't been at the hotel long when you run into another Oyster. Hardly unusual for the hotel, after all. But there's something about this person, something that draws you in. Do you know them? Perhaps they're from your world, perhaps you've seen them around the hotel before, or perhaps you've never met at all?

No matter. Hopefully you enjoy this person's company, because suddenly you're unable to go more than a few feet away from each other. Maybe it's like a cord that snaps you both back together when you try, invisible but somehow there all the same. Maybe it's a feeling, a desire to stay together, a fear of being apart. Maybe it's physical pain when you're separated, and the sensation of comfort or pleasure when you're together. Maybe it's any combination of the above.

Whatever it is, looks like you'll be getting to know each other very well. The connection doesn't appear to be going away any time soon.

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

It seems the hotel is a little short-handed at the moment. Why? Oh, no particular reason. These things happen to every establishment, of course. But since you're here, would you mind lending a hand? It's a two person job, and the staff member giving out assignments is just far too busy to help. Find a partner and report to your assigned area! They're preparing for something very exciting the Queen is putting on for guests. And of course, you'll be rewarded for your assistance.

There are a number of possible tasks that you could be assigned to.

Perhaps you'll be asked to assist with food preparation. You and your partner will be granted temporary access to the back area of the buffet to work with the kitchen staff — you can cook, can't you? Well. Perhaps you can put together some sandwiches. It will soon be clear that the food you're helping to prepare is all things that would be perfect for a picnic. Staff members will cheerfully inform anyone asking questions that the food is for the Queen's special surprise.

Or perhaps you'll be put to work sorting and cataloging a large inventory of items. Sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, toiletries, first aid kits, fire starting materials; all must be counted and sorted. A staff member will hand out a number of backpacks, and request that each be packed with one of every item. Not to worry about the size — each pack will have exactly enough room to store all the items.

Still others may be placed in a room lined with bookcases overflowing with books and loose leaf pamphlets. Examination of these will find that all are related to identifying native Wonderland plant life. Some are about edible plants, some discuss those that are medicinal, or poisonous, or likely to try to eat you should you get too close. Buried in all of that, you may even stumble across a particular poem. You will be given heavy card paper, pens and water colors, and tasked with condensing the information into portable, easy to read info packets.

At the end of the work shift, anyone who assists will have the expressed gratitude of the staff members they supported. They will also find an additional item from home, aside from what they were carrying with them, waiting for them in their room.

III. TIME TO UNWIND

What better way to unwind after a long day of work than with a massage? A staff member will hand you a token for the hotel spa. Yes, yes, all services are free, but this is an enhanced service. Premium massage oils, access to a relaxing tea, the devoted attention of the most skilled massage therapist, all for you.

When you arrive to take advantage of the offer, you'll find another Oyster waiting there as well. Did the staff member not mention it was a couple's massage? Oh dear, it must have slipped their mind. Or perhaps they just assumed, given how so many of you Oysters seem to be in pairs. Well, you're both here, you might as well take advantage of it.

Or perhaps something that gets the heart pumping is more to your speed than relaxation. A staff member may excitedly tell you about a rave occurring at the The Rabbit Hole nightclub. Invitation only, of course, but the staff member is happy to tell you the code to get in.

There is indeed a party in full swing at the club that night. Live music, flashing lights, alcohol flowing freely, the works. You may find that the alcohol packs more of a punch than you're used to. You may even find that drinks that are supposed to be nonalcoholic, ones that you've had before in other parts of the hotel, suddenly pack quite a punch as well.

It's all in the name of enjoying yourself, right? Hopefully you won't be too hungover in the morning.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

For purposes of the TDM, you're welcome to play with having more than one linked partner! If you choose to app in the next round after playing on the TDM, there will be an extra add on to the application for you to claim your additional item from home. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jet tries valiantly not to let the color go to his face, but ascend it does. Stupid Gilmore making sure the cyborgs still seemed human in every outward way; he'd be fine with not blushing ever again.

The blush is the only thing that gives him away, though, his body language remains relaxed. It's only once the staff asks Aziraphale again that Jet's jaw tightens and he strides over to put a hand on the desk.

"Look, if we wanted a couple's massage that's what we would've asked for. Get my friend here the damn first aid kit and keep your assumptions to yourself."

This was the last thing he needed today, but he wasn't about to just walk out and leave Aziraphale alone when he was still freaked out and Jet still didn't know what was going on.

He looks over at Jet with a quiet gratitude, but then turns his attention back to the staff, who give him a medical kit but don't really explain much else.

He opens it up, and uh.

Yeah, he's not actually a doctor or anything and he doesn't know what's happening.

"Suppose I'll just... keep this... in case anything happens." He doesn't even know how to describe problems, since he'd never really felt them before.

"I. Thank you, for accompanying me, Jet. It was very kind."

That seemed...well, he didn't really know what he was expecting, honestly. He knew very basic first aid for humans from when he had a squadron to look after, but outside of lacerations, it wasn't much use.

He shot a look over to the staff member, but they seemed as useless as ever, so he turned to hold the door for Aziraphale again.

"No problem. Look, is there someone I can take you to? Someone who might be more helpful? I..." He paused and shrugged a shoulder. There wasn't a good way to say what was gnawing at him. "I don't really want to turn a corner and find out later you collapsed or something. Is there somewhere you can lie down or rest?"

That usually helped, right?

"Ah, I do... have a room?" he tries, helpfully. His hands are still steepled together nervously. "I don't know if I'll need an escort, but I... if you aren't too busy."

He leaves the rest up to interpretation.

For some reason, he doesn't want to be parted from Jet and he's too chicken to just say something. Such is his life, honestly.

He hardly even knows the man. It's honestly quite a strange turn of events.

"I'm not." He says it decisively, like it was a foregone conclusion that if Aziraphale needed Jet to keep him company, he would.

He wasn't a mean person by any stretch and he did like helping people, but he wasn't usually so...close. No, maybe that wasn't quite the right word. Maybe...comfortable? That was a better one. Like he should stay near Aziraphale no different than if one of his team had needed him instead.

It was weird...but not necessarily bad. At least he seemed like a decent guy, that was good enough to start.

"How long've you been stuck in this place, Aziraphale?"

"Ooh, we're coming up at about a month, now. It hasn't been so bad." Just, you know. There's a bit of the whole, threatening hotel mafia thing going on. And no powers.

And the kidnapping.

He says none of this but he leans in pretty close to Jet, clearing his throat and looking around slightly nervously. "I think they're watching what we say," he whispers, before backing away slightly.

Jet nods. He wished his telepathic link was working -not that he could usually interface with strangers- but, if he could tinker with it, find a way to free up the frequency...it could help with more private conversations. Better yet would be finding someone who could do the tinkering on him, but that would take someone he could trust.

"Of course they are. At least that part's nothing new. Have they actually done anything about it, or are they just ominously listening?" He doesn't bother to lean in conspiratorially, but he does keep his tone low and calm, a trick he'd picked up to try and deflect bugs or taps long before the NSA.

Edited 2020-07-05 22:36 (UTC)

He doesn't know whether to say that they've only just been vaguely threatened, because he doesn't know if Jet will take that seriously or not. It doesn't seem like he would find it threatening just to be strongly escorted out of a room.

So instead, he merely says: "Not yet," voice still low. He had been hiding things from Heaven and Hell for six thousand years now. Usually when he had these sorts of conversations, there were ducks to feed.

He nods and files the information away. It was something to keep in mind. He might need to look into pressing on this place's limits. Testing the walls.

"Well, that's something. Maybe they need a little shaking up."

He paused, but then glanced over to Aziraphale with curiosity. "How're you with electronics?"

He blinks, and then laughs. "Oh, dear boy, I am absolutely the worst with electronics. No, no, you'll want to ask... anyone else." Possibly even all the people walking around from ages long, long past. They're ancient, but Aziraphale is ancient.

"Why do you ask?"

The absolute shut down of the idea startles a laugh out of him and breaks the more serious thoughts his mind was trailing in.

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I've got some ideas, but I can't...well, shouldn't, do it alone. I'll need someone else who knows their way around computers and stuff. Guess I'll keep an ear out for someone."

And, after a moment's pause, he turns a slightly teasing smile Aziraphale's way. "You the type to break a toaster without much trouble, huh?"

"A toaster? Yes, are those difficult to break?" he asks, because he would break anything electric since he remembers when it was first invented and honestly kind of a dangerous mess.

"You must have a very reliable one." He smiles nervously and then suggests, "you could talk to a friend of mine. I think he does pretty well with computers. He always helps me with mine."

"Guess it depends on how you look at it." It was one of the few cooking utensils Jet himself could use without burning his food to a crisp, so he considered it fairly fool-proof. Assuming you didn't throw it on the ground or stick a utensil in it.

"I used to. My family, others like me, and the guy who made us like we are. None of them are here, but anyone who knows something about computer systems would work in theory." They were, at the very least, trainable. "What's your friend's name?"

"Ah, Crowley. I think he did some-- what's it called again, hackering? He's done some hackering before, I think!" He seems very sure and very excited about this Jet, please don't burst his bubble.

"Not sure where he's gone off to, but he should be happy to help. We're all in the same boat after all, aren't we?"

He very, very nearly laughs. It is such a close thing, he can feel the moment of confusion which snaps to understanding which releases the bubble of laughter in his chest that he covers with a clearing of his throat and a swipe of his hand across his jaw like he was thinking instead of desperately trying not to laugh at the other man.

Hackering.

"Yeah..yep that would be perfect. Exactly the kind of help I need. I'll see if I can't find him some time. I'd need a few more things before I could really use his help anyway, but I'll talk to him."

Thank god for games of poker and learning how to keep a straight face.

"This Crowley from your home?" This place didn't seem like the kind to hand out whole computers, their little phone things not withstanding.

"Ooh, yes," he responds. "We've been-- friends a long time." It feels good to finally admit to that, since for years he had to pretend not to know him, and to his bosses had to pretend he was the enemy.

It might be clear from the wings that a long time doesn't really mean ten years, but more like in the thousands. Jet doesn't need to know that.

"You won't be able to miss him," he says. "He's got a pair of these," he adds, gesturing to the wings. "Only in black."

There was a slight pause on 'friends' that made Jet's brow raise, but he let it go without comment. He didn't know anything about them, he wasn't about to make any assumptions.

"Yeah, that should be pretty obvious, then. Thanks." For the information, for the heads up...for the general company, even if Aziraphale had been the one who'd requested it. Jet hadn't been doing a lot productive with his time, the direction was welcome.

"One of these yours, then?" He nodded down the hall where he assumed most of the rooms were since his was somewhere near here as well.

Friends, he means, instead of enemies, and not friends, he means, instead of anything else. Clearly. No assumptions, Jet. "Ah-- that one down the hall with the do not disturb on the handle."

He didn't want the staff poking around, after all, and he could take care of the cleaning himself, leaving out the stripped bed whenever it was time for a change.

"Thank you again for this, really." He offers Jet a sweet smile, because despite how they initially met, he's been nothing but nice since.

"Not a bad idea." He might want to put that sign on his too, he hated the idea of someone poking through his room, even if there wasn't much to it yet that made it 'his.' Besides, he was fairly fastidious in how he kept things these days.

Jet's smile in response is a little wider, nothing derisive even as he chuckles and shakes his head. "Is this a British thing or a you thing that you feel the need to thank me so much? Just so I know."

GB certainly never thanked anyone so much, if at all, but then again GB was kind of a jerk, so maybe he was a bad example.

"Ah, well, we are a polite people, aren't we? But no, I think possibly, it's just me. And I'm very grateful. Actually grateful," he emphasizes.

"This is... well, this is me." He pauses at the door, wondering if he should say thank you one more time. He decides it's probably best not to. "If you have any questions about the hotel, feel free to call me," he says. "Or... maybe. Leave a message under my door, I think I'm more likely to see it."

'Sometimes' is the response he has to bite back, especially in the face of all that earnestness to his answer. "Fair enough."

Jet nods and offers his hand to shake, his smile small but genuine. "I'll do that. It's nice to meet you and walk you to your door. I'll see you around."

He wasn't an overly social person, outside the people he was comfortable with, but he could see himself maybe learning to be comfortable around Aziraphale. He seemed genuine, which was an improvement over his recent company, at the very least.

So the problem with Jet leaving, is that technically they are still bonded, and it is actually going to hurt for them to be moved further away from each other.

He starts to feel those pains again, and immediately rifles through his new medicine to retrieve some and hope the pain goes away.

As Jet heads down the hall towards his own room, he gets only a few feet away when pain begins to spark in his chest. Again, he stops short with a small gasp of surprise and checks his read-outs in his vision. Supposedly, everything was normal.

His mind pulled at theories until Jet turned to look back to Aziraphale who seemed to be digging around in the first aid kit.

"Tell me if this sounds crazy, but do you feel something right now?" Experimentally, he took a couple steps closer to the other man.

"Ah, yes, actually," he replies, looking up from his first aid kit and then with an uneasy feeling, he says: "I'm so... so very sorry, but actually, I think it's acting up again, if you don't mind, I think I'll need to look in here for how to... how to fix this problem."

He doesn't want to offend Jet or anything, doesn't want to just rudely ignore him trying to speak to Aziraphale when in fact he actually is just. Trying to get his heart to stop seizing which is maybe slightly, slightly more important than keeping up appearances.

As Jet moved closer to Aziraphale, the tightening in his chest loosened by degrees, until finally gone as he stood next to the other man. He put a hand on the box himself to get his full attention.

"I don't think it's you, I also felt it. Did earlier as well, but didn't think much of it. Could it be something this place is doing to us both?"

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THIS IS OUR GET ALONG SHIRT

II. HONORARY STAFF FOR A DAY

III. TIME TO UNWIND

IV. WELCOME HOME

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