funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Mm," he responds, walking with Xie Lian to the new locations, as he hasn't seen many of them yet either.

The first thing down from the bathrooms are, naturally, the restaurant and cafeteria.

"You aren't hungry are you, gege?"

He looks into the restaurant, curious about the food of this place. He doesn't have to cook here which is probably a blessing for everyone.

"I don't mind taking a break for a meal. Let's find a seat."

He hasn't really thought about food much since being there so he is curious how it wil taste in this place and what they offer.

Hua Cheng leads his Dianxia into the restaurant and gets them a seat by the windows, overlooking perpetual twilight. But he's not interested in the windows, he only has eyes for Dianxia.

The waiter comes over to ask them what they'd like, and Hua Cheng requests they start them both off with some tea.

He smiles up at the waiter as he arrives and lets Hua Cheng order the drinks. He picks up the menu that the man leaves behind and looks at the various foods. Luckily the little device they were given seems to translate things quite well but he still doesn't recognize the names of much of the food on it. At least the descriptions are slightly helpful.

"The amount of variety on here is quite impressive." The only place he has seen a greater variety was Ghost City. But it's variety lies in the uniqueness of the cuisine available.

"The names they have given the foods though is quite lacking." There is nothing terribly exciting about a food known as a 'hamburger'.

It also doesn't make any sense. What on Earth is a hamburger? But anyway, he supposes that's not the point. "We will get them, and you can suggest new names," he says. But also, this isn't court dining, and there's no reason for them to give fancy names to the food, when this place isn't trying to be a court.

He supposes if they stay for an extended period of time, it might then be due time to give fancy names. When the waiter comes back, Hua Cheng orders a whole spread of foods that is way too much for the two of them to finish.

Xie Lian stares at him in surprise. Even if the food is free that is far too much. What can they possibly do with all of that when it comes? At least it will allow them to try a variety of things and he knows that it will indeed be edible.

He picks up his drink and sips it as he watches Hua Cheng from the corner of his eye. The man always seems to relaxed no matter where they are but he wonders how he is really doing. After a bit he lowers it and looks at him more fully.

"How are you handling being here? It must be quite a change to not have any of your powers." One of the great ghost kings unable to use his abilities much be quite a shock. For Xie Lian not having power was hardly something new.

Honestly, he's handling it okay. He also used to be powerless - a mere ghost, at the mercy of a vendor who was going to sell him to a small child. Gege had rescued him then.

"As long as you are here, I am fine." He offers a soft smile, and reaches out for his hand. There's much he'd like to tell Xie Lian, but they can wait until they're home. He doesn't know who's watching, after all.

"Gege, don't worry about San Lang, okay?" He gives Xie Lian's hand a little squeeze, and then retrieves the dishes that the waiter comes out with.

The hand on his is gentle and he wishes it would stay there for a bit longer as he studies the other's expression.

"Of course I'm going to worry.." He gets cut off as the waiter appears and starts to place out the dishes. Xie Lian stares at it all in amazement. He's going to have to make sure to package up anything they don't eat and take it back with him. Wasting any of it would be a shame.

"This really is too much." But it all looks so incredible. Even the things that had the really inadequate names.

Of course gege is going to worry, but Hua Cheng just wants to alleviate it all. He softly caresses the palm in his, careful not to take too much, only what his Dianxia is willing to give.

"I will try to exercise more caution next time," he resolves, but his heart is too relieved in this moment, to have him.

He feels his ears heat up a little from the attention and tries to distract himself with all the food, not realizing that he should probably claim his hand back from Hua Cheng. "We should be very cautious here until we understand it better. But for now we will relax and enjoy the meal."

It has been a long time since he has seen this much food spread across a table before him. So used to the meager little meals he would make at the shrine..as inedible for most as those might be.

Hua Cheng would love to eat those inedible things, but instead, he will have to settle for spoiling his favorite gege. He looks at Xie Lian more than he eats, peering fondly at him, occasionally taking a bite as to not appear rude.

"Dianxia, is it good? To your taste?"

"It is very good! All of it is so different from the foods we usually have." Even as strangly as the hamburger is named..it's taste is decent. He tries a little bit of everything until he determines what some of his favorites are and goes back to those.

He can feel Hua Cheng's eyes on him and so that pink tinge never seems to want to leave his ears as he tries not to focus too much on it. Occasionally he gives him a small piece of food to try if he finds something that is particularly tasty.

Hua Cheng will make an attempt at eating just little morsels of food, but he is a ghost after all, and nothing is better than gege's cooking.

"Mm," he hums in agreement anyway, not taking his eyes off of his Dianxia. "Where should we go after this, do you think?"

"Ah..well..We found the other piece near the lobby. I don't think the person who wrote them would put it inside any of the little shops. If they want to make sure it ends up where only guests will find it..perhaps the gym or the pool would be options."

Xie Lian pauses in his eating as he considers all of the options in the hotel. There is just so many places that something like that could be hidden.

"I thought we had already checked the pool. Is there another one nearby?" he asks, curiously. It was odd to have so many outdoor items in an indoor space, but he supposes that if they can't have anything physically outdoors...

"Well there are technically two pools. One inside the training area and the big one at the end of the hall. Not sure why a building needs so much indoor water." Or how they keep it clean. There is a lot of staff but there are certain places he has never encountered any.

"That seems excessive, don't you think? But we can check out both places. We have time."

It's not like Hua Cheng needs to sleep anyway.

They definitely have time considering the whole key of getting out of here might be in those notes. Xie Lian continues to eat, quickly filling up with barely making a dent in the selection of food that they have. He is going to have to do something about all of this...

"I believe they serve different purposes. But I'm not entirely sure what that is." He actually only checked out the one in the training room briefly and hasn't been in the big one at all.

"Perhaps one is a large public bath," he answers, because that seems less strange than having two places to swim. Who would even choose the one that is indoors?

There was, he had noticed, a very nice private bath in his quarters, and if one did not exist in Dianxia's, he was welcome to come to the baths modeled after the ones in the palace.

Considering his room is a very rundown little shrine he definitely doesn't have all the nice amenities that Hua Cheng has. But it does have an equally as modest little room to clean up in. Not that he would turn down Hua Cheng's offer if he should make it. He would simply say it was in the interest of seeing how the hotel was able to recreate so many things from their homes so well.

"Ah..perhaps..there are smaller warmer tubs in the same space as the big pool." It's not like something like that is completely unheard of but still doesn't seem quite right.

He looks at the food that is left, "I can't possibly eat anymore San Lang. We must take this food back so it doesn't go to waste." How many days is this going to take for him to eat??

"I will help," he says, eating so that gege doesn't have to eat leftovers. He wants to make sure that he can always fresh and succulent foods. He deserves only the best.

"After that, we will go to the pool."

He isn't stuffing his face exactly, but he sure is making a dent.

He watches as Hua Cheng starts to eat and he watches in astonishment. The man has always had a most impressive of appetites. But he thought that was simply because he was the only one who ever ate any of his cooking.

"Ahh..San Lang you don't have to force yourself to eat it all!" He resumes eating to try and make what is left a little less intimidating.

It's too late, gege, he's really set his mind on this. He has a bottomless pit anyway, and he really does actually enjoy gege's cooking. No one else does, because no one else can taste the love he puts into preparing the dishes.

"We will finish together."

Xie Lian is doing his best, pushing past his limit just a little so that Hua Cheng doesn't have such a burden of eating so much but eventually he just can't take any more. He sets the utensils down and picks up a glass of water to help wash the remaining food in his mouth down.

"Thank you San Lang...I really would have hated to see all this food go to waste."

He sees way too much of it go in the trash every day at the hotel and it takes every ounce of effort not to do something about it.

He knows, which is why he eats so much. He knows this is too much food for Xie Lian, and he feels a little sorry for over-indulging, but he can't help it. He loves to celebrate his Dianxia, and he loves to spoil him rotten now that he has the opportunity.

"But was it good?" he asks, because that's what he wants to know. Did he do well? Did Dianxia have a good time?

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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