funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Maybe it's the clothing," is the reply, even as he offers some candy to show he didn't mean any offense. Wu Xie knew he was thinner than he should be - a loss of appetite he had shrugged off as a general lack of interest in anything - but he didn't think he was being that offensive. The robes did look rather thicker than what he was use to seeing outside of a traditional setting so maybe he was misjudging again.

"Do you have a better method to get up there?"

He is going to be straightening those robes now, wondering if he left his belt a little loose this morning. He takes the candy and looks at it, accepting it as an appropriate apology. But at the question a smirk rises to his lips, "I have obtained certain skills that could be useful. Unfortunately they also might draw a lot of attention."

He snaps his fingers as he finally figures out an animal that can climb that still has hands. "I'll change into a monkey and scale the wall to the piece."

But again..quite obvious that an animal that shouldn't be in a hotel is going to be in the hotel. As long as he was quiet perhaps no one would notice.

"Really? This place does that?"

That is almost as unsettling as waking up without his cough. Wu Xie wasn't sure if he liked the idea of people gaining abilities after staying here for a time; it was almost like they were being rewarded for being prisoners. But the idea of a monkey might work. It was better than trying to fish it out. Any hook he could make might destroy what they were trying to get.

"If you want something small and still able to manipulate objects... a pygmy marmoset or Little Lion. They barely get bigger than the size of my hand."

"They stripe our abilities away and then give them back in the form of teas. Except...you have no idea whose power you might be getting. I've only managed to get one of my own back since being here." Which really is better then most people he knows. In a way he has been lucky.

"Okay, I can see what I can do about making myself into a smaller monkey." His one concern is the fact that he has been getting better about his clothing changing with him..but it's not always a guarentee that he will have them when he comes back to normal. He's just going to have to hope he doesn't end up naked around a stranger.

"You keep watch. If anyone notices or starts getting close..distract them long enough for me to find a place to change back."

"Teas, huh?"

Like that wasn't suspicious in of itself. Wu Xie glances around again and takes out a much battered book, the symbol of his family craved into the leather cover. He toys with one of the bindings and nods.

"I'll do that. You be careful. I'll pretending I'm reading."

Because that wouldn't be suspicious, someone leaning against a wall reading his book while munching through a pack of candies, right?

He nods and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and within seconds seems to disappear from next to Wu Xie, when in reality he is just much much smaller. The now tiny monkey actually makes a soft sound of victory when he doesn't leave a pile of clothing behind.

Moving to the wall, he starts to climb up it very carefully as if testing his grip on it and making sure he can handle it in this new form. When he gets about as high as Wu Xie's head, he speaks softly, "I might not be able to carry it back down..if so, get ready to catch it."

And then resumes his ascent.

It was still surprising seeing the guy suddenly just vanish not even leaving clothing behind, but Wu Xie keeps from totally freaking out. He had some warning after all, though he did expect to hear a popping sound or something to show that a big mass became a small mass. Mentally shrugging, he shakes another piece of candy out and sticks it into his mouth before tucking the package in his top pocket. Then he unwraps the Note and flips to a random page - oh.

This page. He scrunches his nose at the drawing of a demon tree, tapping long fingers against the book's spine. Well, if he was going to play at being someone who was taking a few moments to look something up in his grandfather's book, he would have to make it convincing.

"Hm, that brings back memories... when I first met Fatty and Xiao-ge. The tree with the all those weird branches trying to kill us. Uncle Three called them viper vines and not a demon tree. Are there any differences in what I climbed and this encounter?"

Bending his head while humming, he nods as tiny Wei Wuxian whispers in his ear and continue to pretend to be absorbed in the book.

He glances down at the book once he is high enough and stares at the image of what the guy is calling a demon tree. Is this one a cultivator of some kind? The tree he describes certianly sounds possessed. He makes a a mental note to ask him once he has completed the task at hand.

He continues his climb until he gets the jade piece, gripping the wall as hard as he can with his legs and one hand, he starts to pry the item out. Luckily he finds it is just a piece of paper and so it comes out of the hole fairly easily once he has a good grip on it. He also knows he can carry something like that back down without losing it. He sticks it in his mouth so he can have both hands free, being careful not to get it wet or damage it in any way before he gets a chance to look at it. Then he starts his way back down and plops himself on Wu Xie's shoulder. Whether he wants him to be there or not, the man show has a furry shoulder decoration. He removes the paper from his mouth and holds it up.

"Let's find somewhere else to look at it. I'd rather not stay by the scene of the crime."

It was a nerve-wracking few minutes while the other guy made his tiny way to the object. Wu Xie muttered about the Note's descriptions while trying to match it up with the tree inside the Seven Star Tomb, the candy cigarette dissolving slowly between his teeth. A staff member did wander by but didn't seem too interested in looking up, instead they only gave him a look that he ignored in favor of taking out another sweet as he finished off the other piece.

They passed by and Wu Xie exhaled slowly, flipping the page to one with a detailed drawing of a corpse-eater. He held the book up tilting it and giving it a shake, his voice scolding, "Grandfather, ah, you really were something else. Why put them in the middle of the Note? Do you think it's funny, huh?"

He glances up and sees the little fuzzy body heading down towards him, then turned a little, sighing as he leans his shoulder against the wall and holds the Note at an angle, looking all the world that he was tilting it for the quality of light and not actually creating a blind spot for the transformed man to hide. It was still a risky moment or two as he waited but then he feels the weight settle on his shoulder.

"Mm... I should actually find a place to sit if I'm going to critique all these tales, shouldn't I?"

Carefully he straightens and closes the book, tying it closed even as he walks in a random direction away from any bustling staff.

Wei Wuxian makes his already tiny body seem even smaller as he clings to the man's shoulder. It's not a bad way to travel. he holds the green prize tightly in his paw as he looks down at the book in the man's hand. Anytime a staffer walks past he holds very still as if he was just a stuffed animal. Of course at this point he probably just looks like a pet and nothing for them to be too concerned over. Not that he has really seen any pets in this place before but he has been a rabbit..and hopped around and was carried around in such a form so it can't seem so strange to see a random monkey.

"You have some interesting pictures in that book. What was all that?" Because apparently his curiosity can't wait to be satisfied. He knows that Cloud Recesses has a pretty extensive library but he can't say he has seen anything quite like the man's drawings in it. Of course he also has only flipped through a tiny fraction of those books and only when he was locked up..a lifetime ago.

"Was your grandfather a cultivator?" He can't think of any other reason why he would be hunting such creatures. And the man has mentioned is grandfather so whatever this is for, it is because of a family business or hobby. But he also used the world 'tale' so perhaps it is all a work of fiction and they are a family of writers. Whatever the reason, Wei Wuxian wants to know more.

He keeps his pace slow and even to make it easier on his tiny passenger, ignoring the way his skin crawled at the idea of something so small close to his neck. He's been bitten by a corpse-eater there, and for some reason he was reminded of that crawling sensation. It helped though as the tiny monkey started talking. It got his mind away from that memory and focus on something much less stressful.

Well, maybe not. His family's business wasn't a secret per-say, but he had spent a lot of time trying to distance himself from it after he had tried to get involved in it. The problems of a misspent youth.

"Records that my grandfather made over the years," he says, tucking the book back into his inner pocket. It seems that the staff weren't paying them too much attention even if one of them was the size of coffee cup.

"Not here." Cultivator? Is that what his new friend was? Wu Xie frowned, wondering if it was similar to what he's seen in movies. "Too many ears."

People had to live. Sometimes what they did in order to survive would be considered wrong by others. Wu Xie maybe naive but he was not stupid. He wouldn't talk about the family until they were some where a little private.

He hated to tell the guy that no place in the hotel is particularly private. He is pretty sure the walls have ears at this point. And it's not really like anyone here would judge him for the things his family has done. Least of all Wei Wuxian..whose list of misdeeds is as long as his arm.

But it does seem like the grandfather might have some sort of monster hunting experience which makes this interesting. "We could go to the bedrooms if you are looking for some place more private. I'm not sure anything on these lower levels is going to offer anything. Especially with how busy it is down here right now."

He's already seen more activity in the hotel this week then he has ever seen.

Everything was suspect, nothing was safe. Like in the tombs he had explored, in the wilds between them and even in the halls of the Nine as the Families came together to see the new Master of the Wu Family. He was well-aware of this principle but still seek a place where he could control as much as he could. The less around them, the more the unusual can be suspect.

"I'm not ashamed of my ancestors but I've found that we attract too many enemies because of how much we know, so it's better to be cautious." Wu Xie was not Xaio-ge but no one would have the knowledge of over a hundred years robbing graves behind them. He also has the Note, a powerful tool in the hands of other members of the Nine.

"We can look at your prize there as well."

The little monkey nods his head and lifts a paw to point towards the elevators. "Let's go upstairs then. You're welcome to come to my room." The man might still want to keep his secrets which means he might not want strangers in his bedroom. Wei Wuxian has no such issues since there is nothing he needs to hide in his room. He will have to change out of his animal form in order to access his room key, but that is something he can easily do once they are inside the elevators.

"I'm no stranger to attracting enemies so I understand the caution. But my room is about as safe as it can get."

"I don't see why; you seem like a decent person."

Foolish, naive Wu Xie, Fatty would say if he was around. Kylin would give him a look as well, one that showed just how disappointed he was. But Wu Xie has been selling antiques for years now, and he was able to judge people far better than they think. Otherwise how would he have ever accept those two as his friends if he was as suspicious of people as they were? Besides, he couldn't just ignore that this guy was in the same predicament as he was.

"Okay."

He headed for the elevators and hit the floor for where they were all living relaxing a little bit more as the doors closed and they headed up.

"I didn't always follow the rules put in place by the people on my world. Made a lot of enemies because of it." Public enemy number one for awhile. Not that he didn't deserve to be that after the things he had done. But some things were not his fault and even those he just simply accepted the blame for just because it was easier to be the world's scapegoat then to argue about it.

"Set me down on the ground so I can change back." He figures it might have been a little awkward to just climb down the man's body to the floor. Being let down by hand is far easier.

Oh. That's right. It was a little high for the tiny monkey to jump from his shoulder, wasn't it? Wu Xie chuckled at himself and reached up, gently taking the monkey off his shoulder and setting him down on the floor. He took a step back to give him room, looking away just in case he did turned back naked.

"That's it? Or was there something more to it than not following rules?"

The change is just as quick and easy as before, straightening his robes a little as he rises to his feet. "My story is a long and complicated road. One not suited for discussion in a box." And not one most people would have the patience to listen to.

"I did a lot of things that went against some powerful people. Made choices that few agreed with. And many died because of them, not necessarily by my hand but dead just the same."

And he leaves it at that as the door opens and he steps out into the hallway. He reaches into his robes to look for his little key card. "I'll understand if even that little bit of knowledge is enough to not want to come with me."

He can't say that it surprised him that much. Usually people in power were the ones who dictate the appearances of those they dislike. This guy seemed like a good-hearted person that had his own rules, and that type always clashed with people who had different ideas in mind.

Scoffing, Wu Xie follows him. "History is written by the hands of those who either wish to deceive or those who have all the power. Rarely does anyone speak of those under them, those that tried something different and were beaten down because they were simply out-numbered or had the worse PR. We all have sins on our hearts."

"Oh..history definitely remembers me." And not for the best reasons. He pulls out his card and opens his door. He pushes it open and then holds it for the other man to follow him inside. His bedroom looks just like it did at Lotus Pier. Wood everywhere and a nice clean and fresh scent as if all the windows were open on a clear spring day. A low bed with carvings on the headboard at one end of the room. A table set up in the center meant for people to sit on the floor around, purple pillows set on each side. And on the other side of the room were more modern touches that wouldn't have existed during his time. An actual bathroom and a small area for making tea. Overall the room is much bigger then one would expect in a hotel like this.

"Make yourself comfortable."

"I never said it forgets, it only changes or exaggerates what those in charge feel are important."

This room was everything his was not. There was space and the clean scent of the country near a lake. Wu Xie would have removed his shoes if he actually had any on but still pauses a moment before politely thanking his host.

He takes a seat at the low table, Folding his hands politely and looks around him. Then takes a second look before chuckling and glancing up at the other man.

"Yunmeng? It looks like around the Spring and Autumn periods." He was about to get up and actually look closer at the design so help him they were so clean compared to the ones he normally sees. He resists the urge by shoving his hands in his pockets. "Maybe slightly later... sorry?"

He nearly trips as he is walking when the man mentions Yunmeng. He stares at him in surprise. Most of the people here don't seem to know anything about where he is from, let alone the when and yet this one picked up on it just form his room.

"A-ah..That's pretty good guessing." He settles at the table across from him. "I guess you're familiar with Yunmeng architecture." He is definitely impressed. Not that he's brought very many people to his room and maybe if he did there would be others that could nail it down like this man had. But some how that doesn't seem likely. He looks around the room as if he could figure out exactly what tipped him off.

"Aa..?" He looks back at the guy, his eyes wide like he was caught halfway in the deserts. Then he laughs, waving a hand and nodding towards the decorative motif on the headboard over the bed, the shape of the pillars arcing up to hold the bed curtain in place.

"I've seen that in a preserved piece from a Han manor from the area. It wasn't a lotus flower but the styling of the relief is about the same."

Clearing his throat Wu Xie holds out his hand, needing to remember his manners before he gets too far. Sure, he will talk about everything on his mind but it wasn't polite if he doesn't know any names.

"My apologies, I'm Wu Xie."

He stares at the hand and reaches out with his own to take it. It's a greeting he hasn't quite gotten used to but it is certainly easier then bowing. But once they are done with the shake, he will circle his arms so that he can bow with his own introduction.

"Wei Wuxian. No need to apologize. We've been occupied with other things."

He sits up straight and realizes he should probably act like an actual host. Not something he is used to either. "Would you like some tea?"

"Mysteries are always more important than names, right?"

So. That bow applied with the term cultivator, Wu Xie had an idea that while some things of this room look too familiar, it was still different enough. He might not even have the right dates on the design of the room, though from Wei Wuxian's reaction, it was still in that general area.

"It's nice to meet you, and if you please? I think all that candy made my throat dry."

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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