funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He knows that timbre anywhere. He's surprised when Hanguang Jun so suddenly appears beside him.

"Hanguang Jun!"

His eyes widen. It's strange to think of Hanguang Jun in a place...well, certainly a place like this. The offer of buying something for him warms a fond memory of Hanguang Jun rarely saying no to things he would want for when he was younger.

"Is this really you or are you a vision of sorts?"

If he were any other man, he might laugh, but it's good to see Sizhui and instead, he merely offers a quirk of his lips that looks to anyone who knows him like beaming.

"It's really me, Sizhui." He always did have trouble not spoiling Sizhui, but honestly, he turned out a bright, upstanding young man. Wei Ying had even thought so himself, even before knowing who had raised him.

"How do I prove it to you?"

That beam. That tells him it truly is Hanguang Jun. He thinks on it, willing to meet the request of proving he truly is one of the Twin Jades. What would be the easiest way to tell whether or not this was truly Hanguang Jun...

"Hanguang Jun has pets. What would happen when I helped you feed them?"

As a child, he would recall Hanguang Jun not speaking a word as he buried the boy in rabbits.

"Whatever the rabbits ate, A-Yuan would eat too," he answers, which is why Sizhui is the best at adhering to the Lan diet and should give his Wei-qianbei some pointers.

But he remembers this fondly, when he first brought Sizhui to the Cloud Recesses, and sat him down among the rabbits, and signed himself up for single fatherhood. It hadn't been so bad. In fact, it had been one of the most rewarding experiences of his life.

"I must ask. What is the last thing you remember before arriving here?"

If the familiar smile hadn't solidified Hanguang Jun's identity, then the fact that he had used his given name did. He beams at Hanguang Jun.

"The last thing...Wen Ning and I had just left you and Wei-qianbei. I had...more and more of my memories return to me. And I recall Wei-qianbei as someone important before you brought me to Gusu."

His brow creases a little.

"Then...I...I don't recall after that. I thought I was chasing something in the forest..."

Ah, alright. That's good to know, and makes him breathe easier, since due to the timelines, Wei Ying hadn't lived through that. "Mm, that was how it was like for everyone." How should he best explain this part to Sizhui?

"Wei Ying does not remember. He only remembers the resurrection, and the hotel." There's a brief pause, as he lets this particular hotel oddity sink in. "You should tell him, again."

He looks on, softly, because he knows what it meant to the both of them to rediscover each other, and how it was to see Sizhui acting so young again, in a way that broke his heart and made him nostalgic.

He's taken aback a little when Hanguang Jun says that Wei-qianbei does not remember. His brows come together as he considers how that would be possible. That would mean that Wei-qianbei had come here from when he could've still been Mo Xuanyu. But then Hanguang Jun encourages him to tell him again.

He looks up at him.

"Then he does not know of all that had happened after he returned? Of Jin Ling?" So much had transpired since he had first met Wei-qianbei as Mo Xuanyu.

He shakes his head. "I have told him about you, but I didn't mention your name, in case you forgot." And it would've been a problem, he thinks, for Wei Ying to have come to Sizhui and beheld him so closely, if he didn't know, if he had arrived and referred to him as Mo Xuanyu.

"Jin Ling is here," he adds. "He knows now."

It would have been wrong to deprive Jin Ling of his many uncles, particularly considering there were only two present. Well, there were about to be more, via marriage. Many more.

He wonders how he's going to explain to Sizhui the many other things that are odd about this place, such as the duplicates. But first, he'd like to buy Sizhui a gift. It had been too long since he'd last seen him, and he's missed the boy. So, about as abruptly as Lan Wangji usually ends his conversations, he moves over to the tables, looking back towards Sizhui to make sure he's followed.

He nods slowly, taking in the information. Then he would take the time to tell Wei-qianbei once more. It would be yet another happy reunion, he thinks. Then Hanguang Jun is moving once more. He's used to Hanguang Jun abruptly ending conversations, and Sizhui quickly falls in step, following him as he moves toward the tables.

"Hanguang Jun, what was the last memory you had before coming here? Had it been long? Are you well in this place? Do the people here treat you well?"

He can't help the stream of questions. He had missed Hanguang Jun upon not being able to reach out to him upon arrival.

He gives a curt nod, as he browses through the things, trying to hand them to Sizhui to see if any of them pique his attention. He's a good child, would probably refuse any gift offered, but perhaps Lan Wangji can still find what he likes.

"Mm, I was heading back to Cloud Recesses. I've been here... three months. The hospitality has been alright. Do you have your instrument?" There were spirits still, in the hallways. He wouldn't want them to overhear and tell the Queen. But without spiritual power, they could not understand the language of Inquiry.

It's safer to speak his mind that way.

He's patient and walks with Hanguang Jun as he browses through the wares, not sure why he would take the time to actually go shopping. His experience had been that Hanguang Jun has a set idea of what he wants and buys it. He politely refuses a few of the trinkets. But then there's a butterfly made of some sort of material that was more organic...not quite like the reed butterflies he had at home...but similar. He holds onto this one and looks up when Hanguang Jun speaks.

Sizhui nods slowly.

"I do. The guqin is in my room. I didn't want it to be taken away just yet so I've left it there for safe keeping."

"I would like to hear you play, when we are done here," he says, as he asks the vendor how much for the butterfly.

The vendor says that will cost him a vial of laughter, and hands him a little bottle in which to keep it.

Very deadpan, he turns to Sizhui, and he says, "Why was the flower the mother of rice?" A beat. "Because peanut." It's not a very funny joke. Lan Wangji's delivery is not good.

[ OoC: "peanut" in mandarin is written flower-birthed-rice. ]

A vial of laughter? What a strange thing to barter with. Sizhui was about to tell Hanguang Jun that he doesn't need the butterfly when the ever-so-serious Hanguang Jun faces him with that unnerving stare.

Before Sizhui could even open his mouth to ask, Hanguang Jun tells the joke.

The snicker and laughter burbles up and out loud before Sizhui could stop himself. His eyes widen when he realizes he just laughed at Hanguang Jun.

Very quickly, Lan Wangji opens the bottle and tries to capture the laugh, whatever that means. His eyes widen the slightest because he hadn't expected that to work, he didn't think it was funny. He had just overheard this one day and contextually understood it as a joke.

Before Sizhui can say anything else, he marches back over to the vendor to make the trade, and comes back with the butterfly, offering it to Sizhui with a very serious look on his face, as per usual.

They can just never mention the joking.

Sizhui values his life. He will never mention the joking. At all. Ever. Not even if he was under threat of torture. He accepts the butterfly and bows to him.

"Thank you for the gift, Hanguang Jun."

What a strange thing to barter with. But with how deftly Hanguang Jun had moved, he figures this to be normal. The laughter was less of how funny the joke was, but rather the fact that Hanguang Jun told a joke. He holds onto the butterfly and steps closer to Hanguang Jun, lowering his voice.

"Hanguang Jun, are you all right?"

Because he just told a joke.

He nods, curtly, immediately. "Do not worry over me." There should be many years left for them before a son should start worrying over his father instead of the other way around.

It was just that this was part of the price they had to pay, and Lan Wangji was willing to pay it, devoid as he was of the usual currency. He's maybe feeling extra sentimental, as recently Jiang Yanli had come and gone, only for the briefest of moments.

He would take any time he possibly could, with the people he loves. He doesn't want to waste a single one before he returns home to the Cloud Recesses only to be again in a timeline where Sizhui is off for his first foray out of the nest, so-to-speak, with Wen Ning. And maybe it's because they have little here of home, and it's just so different, so strange. He wishes to give Sizhui only good memories before they have to discuss the serious things.

Hanguang Jun may not be grey and feeble yet but that doesn't stop Sizhui from worrying over him from time to time. He reluctantly nods to acknowledge his request. He holds onto the butterfly.

"Thank you, Hanguang Jun." He smiles softly. "You've always looked after me so well and I am forever grateful for it." He looks up at him, meaning all of it, knowing of his origins, how Hanguang Jun didn't have to raise him as he did and yet... "You gave me another chance at life."

He shakes his head. "You saved your own life." He had been clever, had hidden himself away. If Lan Wangji had been any later, he might have died of thirst. The poor child was scared to death, after having heard all his people be slaughtered.

He has told Wei Ying about the scars, and made him promise not to tell Sizhui. "I raised you because I wanted to." He could have given him away to another family looking for a son, but in those brief moments they'd met, he'd fallen a little bit in love with the toddler who'd hugged onto his leg and was so happy and obedient after such simple things as receiving toys and a good meal.

It would have broken his heart to see that little boy raised by another, not knowing what he was up to. And he'd had plenty of time, plenty of resources. He could have given Sizhui enough love, enough fatherly support, enough to eat. Were those not the requisite things for parenthood? And so, he'd taken on the task, not out of obligation, but because of Sizhui. There was no thank-you to be had for that.

The earlier years of his life were a blur for the longest time with shadows occupying the corners of his mind. He had a very happy childhood, despite Hanguang Jun being absent for the first few years. Sizhui had a much happier childhood once Hanguang Jun became part of his life: introducing him to his friends, learning the disciplines of their clan, even training to become one of the best swordsmen and guqin players of his peers.

Still. The praise has Sizhui smile to himself and look down at the butterfly.

"I can thank you for helping me stay well all these years."

He might have favored Sizhui, but he wouldn't have gotten where he is without his own hard work, without listening to Lan Wangji for himself, without being naturally talented.

How does he explain that to Sizhui?

"Sizhui, you are like a son to me. It is both a duty and a privilege."

His eyes widen. He wonders if he should press about the man's well being. It was rare that he was so candidly...vulnerable like this. Still...it is nice to hear such from Hanguang Jun, even if Sizhui felt and knew it without it needing to be said.

"As it is a privilege to have you as someone like a father to me," he says quietly, smile still shy as he says this. "I couldn't have asked for someone better."

Sizhui, a lot has happened lately, but maybe your old man is finally coming to his senses now that he's stuck in a place like this.

It tugs at his heartstrings to know that Sizhui thinks he's a good father, and that he did alright by him. Even though he's always been sure of his own skills, fatherhood was scary because anything he did before would only affect him, but then anything he did after would affect Sizhui.

His acknowledgement of this is to look at Sizhui with a soft gaze, but to say nothing. He is not fishing for compliments, nor would he want to turn this into a battle over who is more appreciative of the other.

However after a pause, he speaks again. "There is some news I must tell you."

"News?"

He nods and tucks the butterfly away in his sleeve. Sizhui moves closer and tucks his hands into his sleeves. Whatever it is, he's sure that they would be able to tackle it together.

"What is the news, Hanguang Jun?"

"Mn," he starts, because he isn't sure how this will be received. After all, he hadn't known his Wei-qianbei for too long, and hadn't really seen the two of them together except for in memories he'd just gotten back, and very recently.

Hopefully he can accept. After all, he had been willing to look past the Yiling Patriarch and to judge Wei Ying based on his actions.

He takes a breath, and says:

"Wei Ying and I... are to be married soon."

But he has seen how Wei-qianbei and Hanguang Jun interacted with each other. And he had not missed when "Mo Xuanyu" failed to use Hanguang Jun's title or even his courtesy name. And there were certain things that they thought they were being subtle about, when really...well, it was simply a matter of time between them, as he, Ouyang Zizhen, Jingyi, and Jin Ling wondered when they would say anything about any sort of union.

Instead, a bright smile blooms across his features, genuine and happy.

"Does he make you happy, Hanguang Jun?"

The question is merely a formality as his entire body language says that he knows that Wei-qianbei makes Hanguang Jun very happy.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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