funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 004

TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. TIME TO PARTY

What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?

No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.

If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.

But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!

There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?

A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.

Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.

They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"

Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.

It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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"Aah, you met the other me," he laughs easily at that. He had seen Lil Apple, the one and only time he'd been in his soul-twin's room, though of course it was when the other Wei Wuxian had gone missing and his Lan Wangji was a distraught mess.

"Do you think we'll have two Lil Apples here?" he hums lightly, balance wavering. The donkey was stubborn enough all on its own, but to think even his braying companion had a soul-twin was probably a bit deeper thinking than he was ready for at the moment.

"I wonder if they'd get along..." he lets that thought fade out though, in favor of the only topic he always gravitated back to while drunk.

"Did you meet Lan Zhan? And Lan Zhan?"

"Yes, I've seen Hanguang Jun. And...met Hanguang Jun. He's so different but so very similar. Their world doesn't seem so much different than ours," Sizhui replies easily.

He tucks himself against Wei-qianbei's side and slides an arm around his waist to make sure he stays upright.

"Perhaps we should get you back to your room?"

Oh good, Lan Sizhui had met up with Lan Zhan, that was a relief. They were probably both thrilled to see him, especially given how he'd mentioned Sizhui so often.

He leans into the young man, weaving a bit as they start walking.

"Did he tell you the good news?" he starts to ask, when Sizhui's question of where to go finally seems to sink in and he shakes his head.

"Oh... no, no, A-Yuan doesn't wanna go there. Let's go to Lan Zhan's room, okay?"

He laughs again, practically beaming at the news.

“Hanguang Jun and Wei-qianbei are to wed. All four of you,” he replies. “Hanguang Jun invited me to bear witness to it.”

Odd how Wei-qianbei did not want them to go to his room.

“Is your room a mess?”

"Who would've thought?" he grins, and even in his inebriated state, seeing Lan Sizhui's reaction prompts him to laugh and hug the boy tightly once again. It means a lot more than he'd thought that people are genuinely happy for them. He hadn't thought to find many people who didn't want him dead on the spot, let alone think of as family. It's almost enough to send him teetering from happy and clingy drunk to weepy clingy drunk. Almost.

"Mm, A-Yuan has to come!" he agrees. He'd been disappointed for a number of reasons, when Shijie vanished, and not having her at the wedding was still something he'd regret, but they still had family!

"Lan Zhan has his brother, and I still need to ask my nephew... oh- but together, of course, we have A-Yuan!"

He grows a bit less animated, however, when talking about his room. It's usually a topic he just skirts around, but of course, the indulgence tea makes it easy for secrets to slip free.

"It's messy, it's always messy," he makes a face, "but I wouldn't care if it was just messy. Everyone else has much better rooms. Cloud Recesses and Lotus Pier and... and not a dirty old cave."

His laughter dies off a little when Wei-qianbei mentions that his room looks like a dirty old cave. He is gently as he hugs the man. It would be best if they moved out of the way so that Wei-qianbei would be able to drink water in peace and prevent a hangover, potentially.

"Xian-ge-ge," he says quietly.

It's been so long since he used that name and yet somewhere in his memories he recalls the man that he played with at the Burial Mounds, that looked after and protected him without a second thought.

"I'd still like to see it. Perhaps we could even fly away from there," he laughs softly.

Wei Wuxian manages to stagger out of the embrace without completely losing his hold on Sizhui. He wants to see it? It's hard not to think that it might trigger some unfortunate memories, but if that's really what he wants. Besides, how can he say no when he's asked Xian-ge-ge so nicely?

A-Yuan seems happy, and in good spirits, and that's all that matters to Wei Wuxian; consequences have rarely been first on his mind. Besides, Lan Sizhui remembers it well enough to recall all his little shenanigans and flapping around like those grass toys he loved so much.

"Okay, okay," he concedes, "but no sad faces."

He says it to himself just as much as Sizhui, and leads him in his wobbly sort of way toward his room.

"Haven't run into any more white rabbits, have you?"

No sad faces. He wonders who, exactly, Wei-qianbei is saying it to. Sizhui follows, trying to stay steady for him as they make their way away from the party.

"Not since I've come here. I've only met a few people here besides people from home."

Sizhui had been more preoccupied with understanding the situation he is in.

"A~ah. Watch out for them, especially the man who wears the rabbit mask," he nods, solemn for all of a moment before he laughs again, "Lan Zhan really doesn't like him."

When they reach his door, Wei Wuxian taps the key to open it, and pushes his way in. The room is only slightly less messy than he kept the demon subdue cave in burial mounds, slightly less because he doesn't spend all that much time here. Really, he just uses the room to store things, like his collection of teas and clothes he wore only once or twice, while trying out different things from the tailor's shop.

Aside from the few personal items, it's a fairly close replica of the cave. From his talismans around the walls, to the blood pool, though luckily it's only an approximation, without all the resentful energy. The bed is actually slightly nicer than the thrown-together cot he'd once slept on, not that he spends his nights here anyway.

He stumbles over to the edge of the bed though, sitting heavily, his cheeks flushed with the heated blush of alcohol.

"What do you think? Homey, right?"

Sizhui feels as if he's stepped back through time. The last time he was in this place, the second siege at the Burial Mounds had taken place. He walks cautiously around, reaching up to touch the talismans. He smiles slightly as memories, fuzzy as they are, flit through his mind. Tears well up in his eyes as he looks over all of it. No sad faces. He reaches up to wipe at his face.

The clothes are different. And the teas. Sizhui laughs softly as he touches one of the stranger outfits. He looks back at Wei-qianbei. It must not have been easy to have lived in such a place when he was from somewhere quite different.

"I remember that we tried to fly here. And you nearly broke my teeth with the lotus seeds," he says finally.

Even tipsy as he is, he watches A-Yuan make his way around the room, and smiles in soft relief seeing that he's not upset by it all. There might be a hint of tears, but the laughter that follows eases his worry. Sizhui probably remembers more than he does, of those bleary days tilling the angry soil, though Sizhui's memories are also tinted with the sweet innocence of childhood.

"A~ah," he nods. Against all odds they'd managed to grow lotus in the barren hills outside of Yiling. He'd barely believed it himself, but soon they had a bunch of them, shooting up tall and straight.

"Wait, wait, are you sure you're remembering that right?" he laughs in kind, "or were you popping them in your mouth without shelling them first?"

He thinks on the memory. He knows it was the impulsivity of a child that had him pop the unshelled lotus seeds into his mouth.

"Mmm, you didn't stop me, Wei-qianbei," he teases.

He leans back on the bed, stretching his arms and taking the teasing with a good-natured shrug.

"You're telling me Hanguang Jun never let you chew on rocks or get planted in the dirt up in Cloud Recesses?" he shakes his head, as though cracking one's teeth on hardened seeds is just another part of growing up, "Unbelievable."

He laughs and shakes his head.

"Nothing like that. But he did bury me in rabbits when I was much younger. If I ever felt sad, we would go to the patch and he would drop me into a pile of them."

He'd heard that, from at least one, if not both Lan Wangji, and had to wonder just how much the rabbits had multiplied since he was last in Cloud Recesses.

"Lan Zhan and his rabbits," he laughs to himself, "the first time I saw Lan Zhan smile, of course it was over rabbits. No wonder he wanted to share them."

"Really?" he asks. "I thought he had rabbits his entire life. The back mountain has plenty of them."

He looks around for one of those storage things that holds water, remembering the whole reason why they come to Wei-qianbei's room in the first place.

"Aah, did Lan Zhan not tell you about the rabbits we found?" he seems almost disappointed. Patchy as his memories may be, it's one he can recall, being pulled into the Lan's hidden ice caves, where the ancestor Lan Yi's spirit and all her rabbits resided. Of course they'd needed a new home, when she couldn't be there to protect them any longer.

He lays back on the bed theatrically, pouting just a little before rolling onto his stomach, kicking his legs childishly.

"After I so painstakingly helped retrieve them from the cave," he mumbles.

"I've asked," he offers. He laughs softly. "I've asked many questions as a younger child. Sometimes, they would bring an air of sadness to Hanguang Jun."

His smile turns sad, recalling such an incident.

"As if it were a painful memory."

Ah. Despite insisting on no sad faces, but he can't help how his mood sinks a little hearing that. Knowing that he has caused Lan Zhan pain, and that there were still things he hadn't spoken to anyone about... it feels like someone is squeezing his heart in his chest, even through the haze of alcohol. It tips the scale from jovial, grinning drunk to a pouty, more melancholy one as he sits up.

"But Lan Zhan wasn't sad all the time, right?" he looks up hopefully at Lan Sizhui, "I know he had good memories with A-Yuan."

He sniffles a little, "he's really proud of A-Yuan, he even told me."

He takes a water and sits with Wei-qianbei, offering it to him.

"Ah, no sad faces, Wei-qianbei," he reminds gently with a kind smile. He reaches up with a clean sleeve.

"Hanguang Jun was not sad the entire time. I know how proud he was whenever I passed particularly difficult challenges. Like when we were called to Mo village. Lucky we answered the call. It brought you back to us."

Wei Wuxian takes the cup, holding it lightly between both hands, and smiles, shaking his head with a soft laugh as A-Yuan has to help wipe his tears.

"Sometimes it's still nice to hear it," he says. He's missed out on plenty of chances to praise their son, and he's not going to be stingy with it now.

"Aah, even then I knew right from the start, smartest one in the bunch, our A-Yuan."

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TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. TIME TO PARTY

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

IV. WELCOME HOME

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