funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 004

TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. TIME TO PARTY

What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?

No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.

If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.

But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!

There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?

A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.

Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.

They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"

Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.

It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Threaded | Flat

A. Arrival

[Well. This is new? Ayana isn't sure if she's scared or not, too confused by what was happening around her. A new trick by the Musicians, or...?

Then the walls are coming down and thankfully it's a woman speaking to her, explaining a...Casino? Had there always been a casino in Mobius? Brow furrowed, Ayana stands there staring at the card and the phone-like device, which makes her realize she doesn't have her own anymore.] Hey--How do I connect to Wire on this? And where... Where in Mobius si this? I never heard of a Happy Hearts Hotel or anything like that! Who dreamed up something like this!?

...I bet it was that super flashy musician, huh...Mirei? Where's Kotono-senpai, she'd know... [Ayana mutters to herself before she takes a deep breath.] Okay! I can do this! I just have to find the other club members! Even the guys! ...Maybe.

[May...be...]

B. Party

[Ayana paces around outside the pool area, looking grumpy, hands on her hips.] hy is it so loud!? What are they even celebrating anyhow? Some people are TRYING TO SLEEP! [The last part is shouted at the pool area itself, not that anyone in there could possibly hear her over all of the noise.

With a cry of frustration she clamps her hands over her ears and begins to storm off, tears forming in her eyes. She probably barrells right over you on her desire to escape. Whoops!

If you're a woman, or female-presenting, she looks immediately apologetic and embarrassed--and is probably checking you out.] Sorry! I'm just-- Trying to get away... I'm so tired.

[If you're a man, or male-presenting, her response is a lot more hostile. Ayana instantly recoils and scowls-- actually, if you don't react fast enough she might just straight-up sock you in the jaw or chest for being near her.] Get away! Don't touch me! Who do you think you are?! Pervert!

[Ayana YOU ran into HIM...]

C. Looking For Something

The Spa! I just want the Spa! [Ayana throws her hands up in exasperation, before turning and going down a different corridor, only to find it leads to a dead end.]

What is going on here?

[She mutters, irritated, turning around except--] No way! That path disappeared too!? [Frantic, she begins to run through the halls until she finds someone else. Male or female, it doesn't matter right this second (though she does put a hand out to try and stop any men from getting too close)]

H-hey! Do you know where we are?! What's going on, everything's been changing around!

A;

[ The first thing Sara notices--aside from the obvious, from the whole apparently kidnapped out of her damn spaceship thing, from the whole 'where the fuck am I' thing--is that Sam is gone. Considering that she spent the significant majority of her life up until now without an AI in her head, it's surprising, just how empty her own mind feels without him. She keeps trying to think in a distinctly 'talking to Sam' type of manner, and each time resounding silence is her only answer.

It's oddly lonely.

The good news is that she isn't dead--unless the afterlife is a lot weirder than previously advertised--which was one of the major concerns with Sam suddenly missing. It's not worth pondering the details on that, not when that previously mentioned 'kidnapped from her damn spaceship' is still a thing and leaves much more pressing things to be pondered over.

The first attempt to do anything about this involves pestering the assistants, who are remarkably resistant to offering any assistance. ]

Look, I don't know what's going on, but--Listen, I'm a Pathfinder. From the Initiative. You know, the Initiative? I need--Look, I was in the middle of something very important--Hey!

[ Whoever she was trying to shake down for information brushes her off with the ease of the finest bureaucrats the Citadel had to offer, leaving Sara standing there in the middle of the lobby, hands on her hips. ]

Hello--! Hello?

B;

[ Well, she hasn't quite puzzled out how to escape this bizarre place, assuming this isn't just some ludicrous dream, or a crazy acid trip from some strange Andromeda drug she hadn't realized she'd ingested. Either way you shake it, she was here, and that meant she needed some essentials. Like clothes.

Unfortunately, there were no attendants here, and the computer was remarkably unhelpful with catering to her very specific needs. ]

Listen, I just want some Blasto merch, B-L-A--Oh, come on.

[ Every time the computer fails her, she reaches for her left forearm--nothing is there, and when she stops just above her arm, she looks startled by the absence of whatever she was looking for. After that, she resorts to yelling at the computer. ]

Okay, just give me a picture of a big jellyfish, and I'll use my imagination. Please.

C;

[ Sara Ryder is officially in the middle of an existential crisis.

It's not the first time, and probably not the last, but it is the first time she's had to bare it completely alone. No Scott, no Sam, none of her crew--it's as lonely as it is liberating, because as much as she is currently lacking any system of support, there's no one depending on her to keep it together, no longer thousands of people looking to her to save them, no longer...anything. Pathfinder Ryder as anonymous and inconsequential as she ever was.

Which means that she can sit here, pool side, with old timey music blasting away. There's a fancy drink with a fancy little umbrella in front of her, but Sara is staring at some point on the table with a blank expression that says that her mind and her focus is far, far from this fancy drink.

However, don't let that stop you from bugging her, or making sure she hasn't just died, or whatever. ]

Time to Party
Sizhui has done his best to stay out of the way through the hustle and bustle of the party preparations, trying to avoid getting run over by staff and guests who certainly did not look like the other. He is very careful to make sure he doesn't get mixed up with a crowd. But even he couldn't stop the group of people as they somehow bustle him through the hotel and into the pool area where there is music and dancing and lights.

He hadn't heard music like this before and tries to navigate away from most of it. Sizhui finds himself near the food table where he stays awkwardly for a little while until he's shuffled again and sees the teas that Wei-qianbei had warned him about.

were you looking for something?
He knows he saw a pool here the other day. Sizhui frowns as he turns himself around, finding a wall there that hadn't been there just a few moments before. He makes his way down another hallway and turns, hoping that it would lead him back to the lobby, at least.

Another odd turn. Wasn't it a a left turn earlier? Or...had he made so many turns that he's made himself lost?

Though he isn't on the water, Sizhui starts to feel the beginnings of motion sickness creeping up on him. He stops at the end of a long hallway and leans against the wall to take a few slow deep breaths.

I. Partyyyy

The hotel just keeps cranking up the parties. And Wei Wuxian has a lot of reasons to try and forget the events of previous weeks. He has at least been feeling more and more confident about leaving his room. He isn't one to get held down for long. So now, full of indulgence tea and carrying a glass of something colorful and alcoholic, he plops himself down in a place where he can see and hear the musicians and enjoy the evening.

Raising his glass, "Here is to good music and fun times!" And more memories to stuff into his head so that he can hopefully forget the bad one that got put there recently.

Technology

He stares at one of the strange screens and tries to order a drink but every time he does, food shows up instead. Now he hasn't tried one of the various types of brownies or snacks that keep showing up when he requests alcohol..but he is pretty sure that none of these are going to quench his thirst.

He picks up one of the odd treats and stares at it. It's at least in the shape of a liquor bottle but it is clearly chocolate. He takes a bite and his eyes widen slightly in surprise as there is clearly alcohol inside.

"Oh...that's dangerous." But now he is very interested in all of the treats he now has.

III. Need a friend

What good is a map if the hotel keeps changing? He spent so much time drawing out the map of the hotel and posting it where everyone could find it. But now it seems obsolete as he once again turns a corner and ends up in a different place then where he intended. Nothing but hallways all around him when all he wanted was to get some food. But each time there is something missing and the staff isn't particularly helpful.

And each turn makes him more anxious. He remembers that he had promised not to wander the hotel alone for awhile and yet here he is with another wrong turn. Which should have been a correct turn..what is even going on?

I. Indulgence

Xie Lian stares at the glass in his hand. He has asked numerous times to make sure it isn't alcohol and the staff assures him that it definitely isn't. His cultivation method means he abstains from things like alcohol and so he is trying to make sure to avoids such things in a place where it seems to flow quite easily.

He has already come into the pool area to try to appease his curiosity over the loud sounds that have been pouring out of it. And as soon as he walked in the staff handed him this glass. He holds it up to his nose and sniffs it. Certainly seems safe enough.

Remodeling

He hasn't been at the hotel long but even he knows that yesterday there was an eating area in this spot. So he keeps taking turns and ending up on other hallways and still hasn't reached his destination.

"Ah..this is truly unlucky."

1. Arrival

[ This is in no way, shape, or form a place that Nie Mingjue intended to be, and he certainly isn't going to pretend otherwise. No, within just a few moments of the loud music, the talking, and the levity from those around him - is enough to have him prowling the hotel, looking for doors that don't seem to appear and eyeing the windows, ready to break them. There is food and drink, but he isn't willing to any, not when he doesn't remember how he was captured, or why he didn't fight back. Poison, surely, or drugs of some sort. Eating something else would be an absolute disaster. He's not doing this thing. ]

There has to be a way out of here without shattering these windows.

[ The words are offered to the air, irritable. Usually he'd be all for that, but his spiritual power feels suppressed, his body weakened, Baxia stolen - and without shoes, stepping over the rubble could be as damaging as breaking through the clear walls of the windows would surely be. He doesn't know a thing about his captors - weakening himself right away would be foolish. ]

2. Lost in Endless Corridors

[ It has to be a maze array, and the thought of being trapped by the same defense that shields his own ancestral tombs is galling. He'd been looking for a way out, and at this point he'd taken getting back to the raucous party he'd left behind. The halls of this strange place seem to stretch endlessly, walls appearing where there were once passages, doors appearing in just the same way. It's as though with every step, every turn, the way changes again, and every person he encounters dismisses him, dressed in their identical uniforms, smiling emptily before disappearing into the maze. It's enough to drive a man to rage, but Nie Mingjue is biding his time, trying to understand. ]

I should have struck him. I would have felt better for it at least.

I. Time to Party

He'd tried to be on his best behavior, had the best of intentions, but the music was blaring throughout the hotel, and it was like the lively nightclub had exploded into the halls and lobby. Besides, Wei Wuxian spent a fair amount of time at the pool, ordered a fair amount of drinks there, and if one had him feeling a little off, a little more like following his impulses, he'd hardly notice. Besides, Lan Zhan might be able to sleep early and wake at dawn, but Wei Wuxian could hardly be expected to go to bed when the music was pounding and floating all the way up to their room.

He can be found in the pool, half-clothed, playing among the floating toys and getting into splash-fights with anyone who comes close enough.

II. Attributable to Human Error

If he hadn't already gotten used to the screen on his Empathy, the computer screens would have really thrown him for a loop. He came down for some new clothes and maybe to grab a bite, but he's collected a small pile of things he has and hasn't asked for as he toys with all the options. Clothing that ranges from average athletic-wear to stringy bits of lace to formal-looking eveningwear are piled up next to a variety of dishes, each blander looking than the last. Apparently the system doesn't like serving up anything spicier than a bowl of white rice, much to his dismay. He hates to waste food, he can probably bring some of it back for Lan Zhan, but how hard is it to get something spicy around here?!

III. Were You Looking for Something?

It's not that he's unfamiliar with illusions and mazes, but the ones here don't follow any of the rules he's used to. There's a thrill fear, when he first notices the way the hallways stretch and don't seem to end. He's heard too many words of caution from those close to him; things to worry about, lists with their names, and a host of people that were purportedly very dangerous to run into. Alone like this, he felt like a target was painted on his back, and it was hard not to let his worries get the better of him.

He'd only meant to step out for a few things, did he really have to start using a buddy-system just to leave their hotel room? Just what was going on?

Wei Wuxian can be found testing out the limits of the maze, running through it recklessly, walking backward just to keep an eye on where he's been, or checking the nearest walls for any sort of hidden passage, door, or indication of a way out.

Threaded | Flat

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. TIME TO PARTY

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

IV. WELCOME HOME

QUESTIONS

Ayana Amamoto | Caligula Effect: Overdose

Sara Ryder | Mass Effect: Andromeda

lan sizhui | the untamed