funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 004

TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. TIME TO PARTY

What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?

No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.

If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.

But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!

There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?

A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.

Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.

They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"

Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.

It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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Just like a fish, he's left flailing on dry land, in a sopping-wet puddle. Lan Zhan still has his wrist trapped, so eventually he gives in, and decides to make himself dead weight on the ground.

Stubborn like his mule?!

"Just cuz I'm not a boring fuddy-duddy?" he huffs, right up until another thought crosses his mind.

"Or could it be your bed just got lonely, hm?"

Lan Wangji let's go of his wrist and waited patiently as he flails about, and let him catch his wind and air. He waited until he collects him.

That would have earned him a silence spell for his cheekiness, but he has not regained his power yet.

"Wei Ying. No."

He erupts into self-indulgent laughter at the response, and Lan Wangji seems annoyed as ever. His wrists, when he gets them back, are probably going to bruise, he thinks. Even if it's mostly due to his own thrashing around.

"No?" he laughs, then gives a theatrical gasp, "ah, don't tell me you left my soul-twin all alone in his then? How sad, how sad. Here, let's make a deal, why don't you let me go, so you can go back to him, and I can go back to the party, then we all win!"

The shameless things he says. He frowns as he thrashes around like a fool on the floor. He crosses his arms. He will wait until whatever he drank exhausted his system.

"No and no. No deal. I'm going to wait until you tire. The party is over. You're not going to make a fool of yourself and your soul-twin."

After his laughing fit, he does finally start to pick himself up off the ground. He looks a little worse for the wear, flushed and soaked to the skin, and he wobbles drunkenly on his feet.

"If the party is over, why is the music still playing?" he counters, choosing to ignore most of the rest of Lan Wangji's words. As for making a fool of himself...

"That remains to be seen," he snorts.

It's good that he's standing on his feet, but he looks absolutely dreadful. He can't stay mad, knowing his mind and judgment is terribly clouded by whatever he drank, so he is not himself.

Well, now that he's on his feet, stumbling drunkenly and his senses distracted, he's going to take action. With a lift, he's going to make an attempt in carrying him in his arms princess style, so he can take him to his room to take proper care of him and give him his special brew of medicine tea.

"C'mon Wei Ying. It's obviously that you are ill now."

It seems the indulgence tea has Wei Wuxian indulging in a lot of his more childish and impulsive traits, and when they're taken away, he is just as childish and belligerent as one might expect. It's probably for the best that Lan Wangji has picked him up, even if he's a wiggly pest about it. He'd been planning to go running off throughout the hotel within just a few more heartbeats, and he's still not entirely unconvinced he can't, if he can just escape.

"M'not sick I'm drunk!" he insists, because in his mind, there's clearly a difference. Since he can't leap out of Lan Wangji's arms, he tries to start climbing over his shoulder to get away, using his soulmate as a makeshift jungle gym.

He has a good hold of him, carrying like a dead-weight in his arms. The water soaked in his clothes made it all the heavier, and he smells terrible of alcohol and chlorine. He has a good hold on him, so he wouldn't make his escape all too easily.

Deadpan, unamused. "Mn." As he carries him off to the elevator as he makes a fuss as he hopes he could hold him as he struggles until he makes an attempt to reached his own room.

No matter how he squirms, somehow Lan Zhan keeps hold of him, but he does succeed in making Lan Zhan's pristine robes damp, everywhere he's been holding him.

When they reach the elevator and Lan Wangji has to lean in to select a floor, he immediately presses as many as he can get his drunken fingers on, ensuring a long ride up, before pouting, as he sinks into Lan Zhan's arms. All he's managed to do is make himself tired, and Lan Zhan seems absolutely bent on making him go to bed. Time for plan B.

"Heeeeeeelp! Save meeeeee! Mercyyyyy!" he starts wailing as soon as they reach the floor where Lan Wangji's room is.

Lan Wangji for the most part ignores him, but he rushes to his room in haste before anyone can hear him in the dead of the night. Once he reaches his room, he laid him on the bed and then locks the door before he makes an attempt to beeline for the door to make his escape.

Suddenly he felt nervous and deeply embarrassed because this isn't what it looks like. Lan Wangji intentions is to help him rid of the poison he just drank and detox him.

"Wei Ying, please. Please stop yelling. This isn't what it looks like. I wanted to help you." He huffs, now he is frustrated and desperate, feeling misunderstood.

He calls for help for most of the walk to their room, loud and shameless and only stops when Lan Zhan drops him onto the bed. It's a little dizzying, and he tries to right himself, laying on his back, head lolling off the edge of the bed. It's not a great angle, and doesn't help with the dizziness, but he catches sight of Lan Wangji locking the door behind him.

For the first time tonight, Lan Zhan actually looks flustered, asking instead of telling.

"A likely story," he hiccups, trying to roll himself back over to his stomach, "wanted to help me what?"

With a heavier sigh, "How much you drank? You need to detox. I have tea to help you with that."

It won't take long to boil and make the tea. He has a kitchenette in his room, so it will take a few minutes to boil by adding leaves he ordered from his home to make his own brew. He pours the tea into a cup, which is a light-brown color.

He came over to offer him the tea, "Here drink this. It's a medicine to help with your dizziness." And if he doesn't drink it, he's going to help him drink it properly by placing the cups close to his lips.

"Lan Zhaaaaan," he whines, "it's fine, it's fine, enjoying the dizziness is part of the fun!"

He does manage to push himself up into a seated position on the bed, though he's been eyeing the door, heavily considering if he could unlock it and escape before Lan Zhan catches him. He's brewing tea at the moment, so maybe...

Wei Wuxian gets about as far as swinging his feet over the edge of the bed before Lan Zhan returns with tea though. He makes a face and shakes his head.

"Don't want it," he complains, even as Lan Zhan moves it closer to his lips.

"You barely could sit up." It then becomes a battle of will and control. It's him versus whatever influence is flowing through his system. Wordlessly, he set the tea aside on the table, and then brings up his rocking chair and there he sat.

"Very well. I'll wait until you tire and sleep." He said, forcing himself to remain stoic with self-control, and guarding the door if he gets the idea to escape to go back to the party, which he won't allow. "See if you can get pass me."

"That just means I'm having fun!" he sighs. There's plenty of times he's been so drunk he could barely sit up. Wasn't that just a sign of a good time? Or a colossally bad one, he supposes.

He feels it a small victory that Lan Zhan couldn't get him to drink the tea, and it fuels his competitive spirit. That Lan Zhan is challenging him openly to try to get out the door? It's like pouring oil on the fire. Wei Wuxian is already impulsive, but now with both alcohol and indulgence in his veins? He's a menace.

"You're the one up past his bedtime," he argues, "who is more likely to fall asleep?"

He flings a pillow in Lan Wangji's direction.

He catches the pillow and then goes over to placed it back on the proper place on bed. He isn't amused and doesn't feel playful, and to him, this isn't a competition or game to win, it's to protect him from hurting himself. He's going to do so by keeping guard and staying up all night if he has too and lasts him until he tires and sleep. Part of it, he's fueled by annoyance and anger over his behavior and the hurtful things he said, but he cares too much to let it bother him.

"That will be you, I'll make sure of that. I will wait until you tire and wait until you sleep." And he meant it, and Lan Wangji is even more stubborn. He will stay until Wei Ying lose this battle of wills with him.

Were he sober and not under the influence of one of Wonderland's many teas, Wei Wuxian would probably feel guilty and more than a little foolish, given that he'd promised to make more cautious choices(okay, he'd said try to make more cautious choices...). Instead he's rolling around Lan Wangji's bed in soggy clothing, half-dressed and tipsy.

"I'll take that challenge," he says, narrowing his eyes before breaking into another laugh. First, he wanted to fix the soggy clothes, which were rapidly becoming cold and uncomfortable. He picks himself up and toddles over to start looking through Lan Wangji's things, in search of dry clothes. He's... not exactly careful though, rummaging and dropping things, often as not, and making a mess in general as he goes.

"...No." Lan Wangji answered and he didn't laugh back. He didn't find this funny. He started arguments with his soul-twin over his alcoholic and drinking habits, and it's becoming a problem for him. Unlike the friendly sparring, this is a different fight altogether.

Seeing he's cold and wet and soaked through, he wordlessly assists him without saying a word, he opens the closet and pulls out a towel for him to dry with, and an extra terry robe. "Dry yourself and wear this." He'll clean up the mess on the floor and the bed later, he doesn't care. At least, he's with him, and not partying himself out there, so to him, this is fine, he will deal whether he likes it or not.

"If you want to take a shower, you may."

With the room decorated as it was, this really did feel like Cloud Recesses, complete with the strict set of rules! If Lan Wangji was going to play law enforcement, Wei Wuxian was going to treat those rules more or less as he had as a teenager.

"How gracious," he pouts, looking at the robe and towel held out to him.

"Fine."

He chafes at being told what to do, and rather than take either up, he ignores them, fumbling with his clothes before throwing his wet, red robe on the floor. He's left with a thin pair of black linen pants clinging to his skin. Without so much as a moment's hesitation, he peels them off, kicking them away at the ankle before stomping his bare ass into the bathroom to use the shower.

It might've been a slightly more effective tantrum if he could stomp a straight line rather than a wobbly one, but he makes it inside and the door slams shut behind him. The sound of water running starts up moments later.

"Fine." With a heavy sigh, this drunk, temper fueled argument seems to get worst as he set the towel and robe aside. He refused to look at him as he strips off his clothes and then storms off to his shower. While Wei Ying is in the shower, getting clean, and hopefully the shower will help him become a little more somber, Lan Wangji sits on his rocking chair, rocking back and forth anxiously.

He waits for him to finish his shower and eventually come out, the towel and robe left on the bed in his line of sight should he want it to dry.

To his credit, Wei Wuxian does manage to wobble his way in and turn on the shower. That isn't to say he does so without leaving a mess of puddles and soap. His marvelous bit of storming off didn't have much foresight, not that Wei Wuxian often does, and he's still leaving water everywhere as he opens the door and sees the towels and robe.

He still feels upset, though not as hot-tempered, and he doesn't like feeling that way around Lan Wangji. Sliding on the robe and knotting it at the waist, he plops down on the edge of the bed. The towel, he throws on over his shoulders, hair still wet, with snarls in places.

"Lan Zhan," he glances over, looking a bit sullen. If he can't go to the party, he at least wants his time here not to feel like a punishment. He's usually had a lot of fun being drunk around Lan Zhan. Why is tonight so different?

"Help me dry my hair."

For now, he didn't see him coming out of the bathroom, hoping he'll find the towel and robe by himself. Lan Wangji sighs as he rocks back and forth on his chair, waiting and trying to decide if he should help him. He frowns when Wei Ying made a mess of his bathroom, leaving a mess of puddles.

"Very well." Eventually, he did rose up to pick a hair blow dryer and a comb. "Sit still, Wei Ying."

With the hot hair blowing from the device, he blows on his hair to dry, and with the comb, comb through the snarls of his hair to smoothen it out.

"Mm."

He knows it sounds demanding, but he's still trying to whittle down his temper from earlier, and asking seemed too much like he was submitting to this imprisonment. For all his sass though, Lan Zhan is barely halfway through brushing out the tangles, when Wei Wuxian starts to nod off. The soothing warmth of the hair dryer and the gentle motion of the comb are enough to make his head droop down, chin against his chest, even as he sits upright, dozing lightly.

Lan Wangji is slowly learning about his moods and his own. He never liked Wei Ying to fall into his bad habits, but there's so much he can do to help him ease off the side-effects.

He started to noticed Wei Ying is drowsy and he finally succumbs to falling sleep, almost there. He smoothens out his hair, drying it some more, and when he's down, he gently helps Wei Ying to lie down on the bed and pulls the blanket over.

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TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. TIME TO PARTY

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

IV. WELCOME HOME

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