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funnyhearts2020-08-24 11:51 pm
happyheartsstaff) wrote in funnyhearts2020-08-24 11:51 pm
TEST DRIVE MEME 004
HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL
You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.
But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —
A hotel lobby?
"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"
Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!
I. TIME TO PARTY
What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?
No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.
If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.
No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.
If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.
II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR
Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.
But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!
There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system â and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?
A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.
But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!
There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system â and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?
A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.
III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?
Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down â you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.
Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.
They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"
Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.
It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.
Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.
They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"
Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.
It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.
IV. WELCOME HOME
Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!
© tessisamess
Sara Ryder | Mass Effect: Andromeda
[ The first thing Sara notices--aside from the obvious, from the whole apparently kidnapped out of her damn spaceship thing, from the whole 'where the fuck am I' thing--is that Sam is gone. Considering that she spent the significant majority of her life up until now without an AI in her head, it's surprising, just how empty her own mind feels without him. She keeps trying to think in a distinctly 'talking to Sam' type of manner, and each time resounding silence is her only answer.
It's oddly lonely.
The good news is that she isn't dead--unless the afterlife is a lot weirder than previously advertised--which was one of the major concerns with Sam suddenly missing. It's not worth pondering the details on that, not when that previously mentioned 'kidnapped from her damn spaceship' is still a thing and leaves much more pressing things to be pondered over.
The first attempt to do anything about this involves pestering the assistants, who are remarkably resistant to offering any assistance. ]
Look, I don't know what's going on, but--Listen, I'm a Pathfinder. From the Initiative. You know, the Initiative? I need--Look, I was in the middle of something very important--Hey!
[ Whoever she was trying to shake down for information brushes her off with the ease of the finest bureaucrats the Citadel had to offer, leaving Sara standing there in the middle of the lobby, hands on her hips. ]
Hello--! Hello?
B;
[ Well, she hasn't quite puzzled out how to escape this bizarre place, assuming this isn't just some ludicrous dream, or a crazy acid trip from some strange Andromeda drug she hadn't realized she'd ingested. Either way you shake it, she was here, and that meant she needed some essentials. Like clothes.
Unfortunately, there were no attendants here, and the computer was remarkably unhelpful with catering to her very specific needs. ]
Listen, I just want some Blasto merch, B-L-A--Oh, come on.
[ Every time the computer fails her, she reaches for her left forearm--nothing is there, and when she stops just above her arm, she looks startled by the absence of whatever she was looking for. After that, she resorts to yelling at the computer. ]
Okay, just give me a picture of a big jellyfish, and I'll use my imagination. Please.
C;
[ Sara Ryder is officially in the middle of an existential crisis.
It's not the first time, and probably not the last, but it is the first time she's had to bare it completely alone. No Scott, no Sam, none of her crew--it's as lonely as it is liberating, because as much as she is currently lacking any system of support, there's no one depending on her to keep it together, no longer thousands of people looking to her to save them, no longer...anything. Pathfinder Ryder as anonymous and inconsequential as she ever was.
Which means that she can sit here, pool side, with old timey music blasting away. There's a fancy drink with a fancy little umbrella in front of her, but Sara is staring at some point on the table with a blank expression that says that her mind and her focus is far, far from this fancy drink.
However, don't let that stop you from bugging her, or making sure she hasn't just died, or whatever. ]
C!
You seem to have a lot on your mind.
no subject
Um. [ Interacting intelligently is another question altogether. ] Just--This is a lot, yeah? I haven't even wrapped my mind around how they managed to even grab me out of a ship in the middle of space--dodging the ship's AI and defenses, mind you--in order to... [ She takes a look around her. ] ...have me attend a pool party? And call me an oyster--?
I don't even like oysters.
[ That's important and relevant info. ]
no subject
The hotel isn't always like this. Usually it's a lot quieter but this is kind of a fun change.
[She isn't the first person from space he has met so luckily he isn't as caught off guard by the fact she is from there.]
This place has an ability to pull people from anywhere and any time and take away our powers. No one really knows why but it has something to do with the Queen that is in charge.
no subject
[ She'd noticed the 'powers' bit pretty quickly, her biotics shortly after Sam. Probably hard to remove biotics without also removing the unshackled AI implanted in there, that had enough control over her body to just give them back, or whatever. ]
Would've been nice if they'd bothered to tell us why. Wouldn't have changed that I'd rather not, but it's good to know if she's just really bored, or planning on ritual sacrifice, or maybe she needed someone to laugh at her really bad jokes?
I don't suppose there's a complaint box around here, though. [ It'd probably be overflowing by now, anyway. ]
no subject
[She is an odd woman. In her videos she seems friendly enough but everyone he has talked to seems to be terrified of her. Looks can certainly be deceiving.]
All we know is that they like emotions and the more we show, the happier people seem to be. Apparently they get harvested or something.
no subject
[ The word that they labeled her with, oyster--It makes a discomfiting amount of sense with the idea of being harvested. She looks down a moment, touching her chest, like she expected someone to try ripping emotions out of her in a very literal and bloody fashion. Nevermind the science behind attempting to harvest an emotion. ]
Well, I hope they like the emotion of being pissed off, because that's the main one I'm dealing with at the moment. I had important business back where I was, I had people who needed me, I don't have time to sit here and be harvested--!
[ A quick breath, a reminder that this man is presumably innocent, and doesn't deserve the frustration bubbling up like bile in her throat. ]
--Maybe I'll make my own complaint box. A big one. A complaint crate?
no subject
I'll make sure to help you fill it. I have plenty of my own.
[He's had mostly good experiences but there are several things he would prefer to fix.]
And you don't really have to worry about your home...I went back once several weeks ago. Apparently time doesn't move while you are here..or else you just get sent back at the exact moment you left. I went home and didn't remember this place at all and when I came back even though a lot of time passed for me there, only three days passed here. Time is..strange.
no subject
She wants it to be true, at least. ]
That doesn't make any sense, but none of this does, so I suppose it checks out as much as anything else around here.
At least there's alcohol. And fancy umbrellas. [ Small mercies. ] How long have you been here--weird time nonsense aside?
no subject
[But he does have to agree that at least there is alcohol and lots of it.]
And there is an entire bar here and everything is free. So if you like alcohol then there is no shortage.
A!
Though she has no idea what Sara's going on about here. She approaches tentatively, hands clasped in front of her chest before she gives a little wave]
Uh-- Hi? Sorry, but... Did you just wake up here in one of those cube things too?
no subject
Yeah, I did. And I certainly didn't go to sleep in a cube, let me tell you. Pretty rude, at least get a girl dinner or something, you know? [ Jokes aside, Sara glances around again, eyeballing the assistants running to and fro without paying them any mind. ] And I was in the middle of something pretty important, but none of them can even bother to have a conversation, let alone dinner. [ The nerve! ]
no subject
[Now that she thinks about ti though, she hasn't heard the distinct music that usually corresponds with this being some Musician's lair or something... Actually, she hasn't heard any songs from Mu the entire time she's been here.
And this woman had said something about Pathfinders and an Initiative? None of those words mean anything to Ayana and she gets a sinking feeling in her stomach.]
Uh... I don't suppose you know where Kishimai High School is...Do you? Or does the word 'Mobius' mean anything to you? Or the name 'Mu'?
no subject
[ She blinks at the question, though, and looks thoughtful. ]
Haven't heard of the high school-- but Mobius? Yeah, that's some scientific term, isn't it? The Mobius function, Mobius plane, Mobius strip. And Mu--that's a Greek letter, isn't it?
[ Sara puts one incorrect assumption with another incorrect assumption and comes to a remarkably incorrect conclusion. ] Ah, are you a scientist? [ A bit young, but there were always those prodigies you heard about. ] When I was in the Alliance, I did work with scientists, but we were studying Prothean artifacts. Nothing heavily involving Mobius--that's mostly mathematics, I think there's some kind of mobius in chemistry, too, if that's what you were talking about...? Nothing that I got very far into, I'm afraid.
[ Distantly, she ponders why someone would want to start a conversation about number theory, but everyone deals with stress in their own ways. ]
no subject
Ayana probably should correct her, but sheâs not sure where to even begin. Would it be better to pretend to be a scientist and hope she doesnât get asked anything more technical than the formula of, like, nail polish remover?
What the fuck was a Prothean
The President probably wouldâve said something ridiculous with a totally straight face, but Ayana figures her silence has stretched on too long and the slightly baffled look on her face has probably given her away already.]
I, uhâ No. [Just. No. She shakes her head.] The place I was here before this, it was... Like a virtual realty dream world type of thing. It was called Mobius. The person in charge was named Mu.
[She decides that pointing out Mu was a virtual idol program probably would just confuse the point even further.] I still look like I did in there, I think, but if you or anyone else doesnât know Mu then this canât be Mobius... So I feel like I somehow know even less about whatâs going on here!
no subject
Virtual reality isn't unheard of for her, though she has to wonder why someone would decide to go by some random Greek letter for their name while running it. Probably some pretentious weirdo.
Or cruel parents. ]
Yeah, it's pretty confusing. I was in my ship, so I'm not sure how they even got me without alerting anyone. Especially Sam--The ship's AI. [ But then, they also managed to remove Sam, which shouldn't be possible, either. ] Or why, really. I mean--I'm sure I could name a bunch of people who want me dead, but none come to mind who want to stick me...here?
[ She gives a hum of thought. ] If you still appear as you were in virtual reality, and they managed to take us here--Maybe this is another kind of VR? Like, they managed to overtake the VR you were already in, not sure how they would get me--maybe hacking my implant? But that would be... [ Troubling, to say the least. But this whole thing is troubling, so. ] ...Well, I'm not really jazzed about any of this.
no subject
Though she's pretty sure it's not all that simple. Especially since Sara still keeps talking about stuff Ayana isn't sure of at all.]
Uh, sorry, but-- Implant? What are you talking about? You were on a ship? I'm... going to guess it's not a luxury cruise ship sort of thing, huh?
B~
Up to something would be putting it mildly. This whole place is one huge practical joke, and not the nice kind.]
Hey! [It's not the frustration that caught her eye, it's the way that she kept doing the same thing Shepard had done, those first few days; trying to check her omni-tool.] You fresh meat?
no subject
Personally, I would label my meat a bit on the frosty and recently thawed side. [ Thatâs a little cryogenics humor for you there. Hilarious. ] But I am new, so maybe flash frozen. [ Thatâs even worse. Ryder quickly moves on. ]
âAnyway. Yeah. New here. Trying to dress myself. The computer is resistant. Itâs like I'm seven and trying to wear my pants on my head all over again.
no subject
[Seriously, kid?]
Okay, I'm gonna address a number of things here, but you were trying to wear your pants on your head at seven?
[Who is this sassy lost child?]
Who are you?
no subject
[ Says the woman in pastel rainbows. ]
Oh--But aside from that, I'm Sara Ryder. Human Pathfinder for the Intiative, whatever that's worth around here. [ Her tone implies that it's not much. ]
no subject
Lots of initiatives out there, you know. Not many that would need anything called a 'pathfinder' and even fewer who'd feel the need to specify one by species designation.
Damn it, she was hoping this would be less weird than the normal stuff, here. More fool she.