funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 004

TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. TIME TO PARTY

What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?

No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.

If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.

But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!

There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?

A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.

Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.

They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"

Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.

It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I hope for you to have your reunion with your a-Yuan some day, Wei-qianbei," he chuckles.

He looks over at the drinks, then follows Wei-qianbei down the table, moving around the other party goers to where the drinks are. It isn't that his tolerance is low, but--

"...Wei-qianbei warned me of the drinks here."

"Mm..we will get our reunion someday. Perhaps you will get to meet him if he somehow ends up here." That would be fun. Wei Wuxian can barely handle the one almost-nephew and now almost-son. He has so many faces he now has to make an effort to see every day. It's a good thing he has a lot of energy.

"You want to stay away from most of the teas. Water is safe. Alcohol is..well its safe if you can handle alcohol." He doesn't know if A-Yuan has his tolerance or that of his other father but he doesn't want to really be in charge of another drunk Lan.

"This tea doesn't seem to be as bad as most. I haven't noticed too much difference in how I act." Probably because he isn't afraid to indulge all the time.

"Is it because Wei-qianbei partakes in alcohol often?" he asks.

Sizhui is still very wary of the drinks, especially since it was Wei-qianbei that warned him of it the last time he saw him. He reaches out to stop him gently.

"W-wei-qianbei, are you sure you should be drinking these if the effects might end up being more insidious? What sort of effects can these teas have?"

"Ah..ha..yeah. I can handle alcohol. Since you aren't really supposed to drink I'm going to assume you should stay away from it." Which only leaves the teas on the table. Most of the teas have been troublesome but he has been drinking this one for weeks.

"They like to mess with your emotions usually. Happiness, sadness, fear, anger...lust...stay far away from lust." Far far away. Don't make him have the talk.

"I'm not sure what emotion this one is."

He won't mention the time...or...two...that Jingyi had convinced them to try alcohol. It just ended up with Sizhui carrying Jingyi back and making sure he isn't loud enough to rouse the suspicions of the senior Lans.

He keeps his hand on Wei-qianbei's wrist.

"Then it might be best to perhaps not imbibe it if we do not know of the effects."

"I've already had at least two of these already and I'm fine!" As if indulging in more then necessary isn't a symptom...it's just a symptom he hasn't realized.

"Maybe this one is just a regular tea." So this dad is probably not going to be the best of influences on the kid but he doesn't even realize it so certainly he can't be faulted for that...

"Wei-qianbei," he says surprised he's already had two of them already. "Isn't two enough?" he asks gently. "Perhaps some water would be suitable to hydrate yourself for a little while before having more."

He has his suspicions. Regular tea. From what he's seen already, regular tea doesn't seem to necessarily be something that is normal here.

"Ahh..where is the fun of a toast if you are just using water?" He pouts a little but it seems it will be the easiest of answers when it comes to these drinks. He will have to ask Lan Wangji if he has figured out what the tea seems to be doing.

"It is safer until these drinks could be categorized and looked at more closely for their effects. Wei-qianbei had been explicit in avoiding the teas here," Sizhui responds.

And he listens to his ~~parents~~ elders.

He wrinkles his nose at the mention of his soul twin. As if he is a particularly great role model. This Wei Wuxian knows just how poor of a role model then can be depending on the day and the activity. He does pick up two glasses of water though and hands one to the young Lan.

"Well lets go with the safe route." When has Wei Wuxian ever gone the safe route with anything? "This is a drink to celebrate us meeting, and your arrival and the discovery of your true identity and..just everything!"

The safe route. The glasses look like water under the light of the party and he accepts it with both hands. He lifts it to toast the meeting and wonders if Wei-qianbei really just had two.

When he sips at the drink, Sizhui's eyes widen. It certainly does not taste like water. He looks at it, then at Wei-qianbei.

"Are you sure this is water?"

He takes a big mouthful and nearly chokes as it goes down. This is definitely not water. And although he can easily drink this and is more then happy to do so, he didn't mean to subject the Lan to the biting after taste of the vodka.

"This..is definitely not water." He laughs a little uncomfortably and picks up another glass, sniffing it to see if he can tell which ones might actually be water.

"Don't tell Lan Zhan I gave you alcohol."

The alcohol doesn't bother him, nor does it really affect him. Something he knows Jingyi to be jealous about: Sizhui's miraculous alcohol tolerance. He sniffs at the glass again and sips a little more before shaking his head and putting it back.

"Unless he asks, I won't tell Hanguang Jun."

Of all the alcohol for him to give the junior it had to be one that had such a vile after taste. Well, at least he can be proud of the fact that the tolerance appears to be much better then Lan Wangji's. He hasn't instantly passed out.

"Sorry about that. I wasn't trying to get you drunk." He's drunk. He can handle that and his partner knows how to deal with the nearly constant state of drunkenness that Wei Wuxian has had for the last couple weeks. But he is not sure that Lan Wangji would forgive him if he got Sizhui drunk.

"These cups really should be labeled..." He waves his finger at the cups in an almost accusatory manner.

"Wei-qianbei, exactly how many of these have you had?"

He has the sneaking suspicion it certainly is more than two. Sizhui glances at the cups then picks up another one, carefully sniffing it. No alcohol. He drinks it and his eyes widen. He looks at the cup, then looks at the group he's taken it from.

Tea.

Sizhui's eyes widen even more at that.

"Ah..yes..two of those.." He points to the one that Shizui just drank from and then points to the alcoholic groupings, "And a lot of those. You aren't supposed to count those." Or at least he lost count after awhile and now that last one just is the tip of the alcoholic iceberg.

"The tea I think makes you really really want to drink more of the alcohol." Or at least he has a sinking suspicion as that being the reason he can't seem to stop himself.

“More alcohol?”

The question is faint. He swallows. He never wanted alcohol in his life. Nor would he have any vices, really. He takes a half step away from the drinks.

“W-Wei-qianbei...perhaps we should leave before you drink more. It might cause a sickness the next day.”

"Lan Zhan has plenty of cures for that." Trust him..he knows. Perhaps part of the problem is the fact that he very rarely has to deal with the aftermath.

But the boy is right and they shouldn't linger near this table any longer.

"We might want to find some actual water."

That doesn't surprise him. The Lan had many cures. Granted, they were not well known as doctors, but they were certainly well known for having that sort of knowledge. He nods at the suggestion to find actual water.

"Would they have some in the lobby?"

"I wouldn't trust anything in the lobby either. I know my room has water and is safe." He should probably check on Lil' Apple and see how they are fairing through all the noise anyway.

"Follow me and we can take a little break from all of this."

"You wouldn't?"

He nods and falls into step with Wei-qianbei.

"Do all of the rooms have water? I haven't had the opportunity to truly look through my room yet."

"They do. There are little boxes in there you can keep things cold as well." The modern additions to their rooms is impressive, particularly since the hotel has made sure to hide them within the decor that is so familiar from their worlds. But for him in particular, the running water is necessary since Lil' Apple needs to always have it available.

"What does your room look like? I imagine they made it appear like your room at Cloud Recesses."

He had seen the little box but hadn't opened it just yet. He nods at the question.

"It's a little more grand than my room back at Cloud Recesses. Quite more like the Jingshi or even Zewu Jun's Hanshi. It's quite opulent."

Red graces his cheeks. His room was certainly far more grand than his room back home.

"Ahh how interesting! Most of the rooms are catered to us in some way. Places we've been or places we want to be..Mine is the room I grew up in."

With a few grander additions now that he has a housemate in a donkey.

"It's not exact but it is pretty close." He walks up to the elevator and pushes the button. "Just another way the hotel can be creepy in what it knows about us."

Sizhui steels his nerves when the elevator dings. He had been caught in one earlier and the other guests and oysters had moved back and forth between so many floors that Sizhui felt a small wave of nausea.

"I'm curious to see what the room looks like then. I hadn't had the opportunity to enter Lotus Pier."

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. TIME TO PARTY

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

IV. WELCOME HOME

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