𝐻𝒜𝒫𝒫𝒴 𝐻𝐸𝒜𝑅𝒯𝒮 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝐹𝐹 (
happyheartsstaff) wrote in
funnyhearts2020-08-24 11:51 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME 004
HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL
You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.
But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —
A hotel lobby?
"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"
Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!
I. TIME TO PARTY
What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?
No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.
If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.
No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.
If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.
II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR
Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.
But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!
There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?
A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.
But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!
There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?
A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.
III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?
Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.
Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.
They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"
Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.
It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.
Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.
They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"
Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.
It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.
IV. WELCOME HOME
Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!
© tessisamess
lost
Rounding the corner, Lan Wangji doesn't find what he was looking for, which was his room, but he does bump into someone who looks vaguely familiar to him. ]
You are new.
[ He bides his time, trying to figure it out. Surely Nie Mingjue noticed the embroidered white robes and the headband, so he's at a disadvantage. ]
This is not rare for this hotel.
no subject
And you are not?
[ What else could be the implication? ]
Where have we found ourselves imprisoned?
no subject
[ He looks at the clothing the other wears, and takes note of his tone, and assumes he is another world's Nie Mingjue, or at least, wouldn't be terribly surprised if he was. ]
We are at Happy Hearts hotel.
Even if I explain, most of it will not make sense.
no subject
[ Months of captivity was not what he'd anticipated hearing, and he grimaces, a flash of frustration across his face. ]
Then tell me something which will make sense. Which Lan are you? One of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji's cousins?
[ A direct disciple, by the headband, but there were more of those in Gusu than there were in Qinghe. ]
no subject
I am Lan Wangji.
[ He did warn Nie Mingjue that this wasn't going to be easy to understand, even if he did explain it. ]
no subject
You're Lan Wangji from another timeline.
[ The worst part is that there's a resemblance - enough that they truly could be related, and yet distinct enough that trying to overlap the two in his mind is a touch beyond him. ]
How is that possible?
no subject
[ He's Lan Wangji, of course, not some sort of all-knowing deity. ]
You may prefer to speak with my brother, but he is also from my timeline, and not yours.
[ He isn't sure if Nie Mingjue belongs to the world the novels are from, or a completely separate timeline. ]
Perhaps we should all sit, and talk.
no subject
It would be for the best, likely but -
Who exactly included in all?
no subject
[ He's going to assume depending on when he's from, he's not going to want to talk to either of the Wei Wuxian, nor Meng Yao. And he won't know who Jin Ling is. ]
Several others are here, but it may be better to get footing with a smaller group first.
no subject
[ He'll allow that
interrogatingdiscussing matters with a small group would surely be more organized and less chaotic than gathering however many were present from their homeland, but still - ]Of those from our world, who else is here? Has anyone from the Nie Sect been imprisoned alongside you?
[ he doubts it. Lan Wangji had always been the straightforward sort, quiet, but not prone to leaving out critical details. But he has to ask. ]
no subject
[ Specifically, Meng Yao. Not Jin Guangyao.
Lan Wangji has always been truthful, and proper, but he expects Nie Mingjue to have questions. ]
None from Qinghe Nie.
no subject
Not Jin Guangyao.
[ Lan Wangji has always been the specific sort, one to use only as many words as were necessary, but it pays to understand. ]
The juniors - are they well?
no subject
[ He doesn't think he needs to tell Nie Mingjue this place is dangerous - he can see for himself. That the Twin Jades have been stuck here for months should at least, tip him off a little bit. ]
You must know: they have read our memories. And they speak our languages. They are using spirits to hear whatever it is we say to each other.
no subject
[ Very well. Secrets were never his style to begin with. ]
Those who watch us - have they chosen to act on the knowledge they've stolen?
no subject
[ Except for the part where the Queen shaded his relationship with Wei Ying, but that's not something that Nie Mingjue needs to know, nor cares about. ]
But I do not anticipate they will be so kind indefinitely.
no subject
[ The Wen had not been able to resist pressing their bounds. He can't see someone capable of outright taking those they want doing anything less. ]
But for now, you are all intact?
no subject
[ This is honestly the most words Lan Wangji has spoken in a few years give him a little big of a break, Chifeng-zun. ]
no subject
And yet all is well.
[ He shakes his head. ]
I would work with you to return to our homes.
no subject
[ He does trust Chifeng-zun, after all. And perhaps he could take over for the song of calming. ]
no subject
[ Glancing at their surroundings, as irritatingly indecipherable as before. A wall he wasn't keeping an eye on has extended into a long hall. ]
no subject
[ He reaches over and punches the wall, attempting to break through it to get a shortcut. He's unsuccessful. ]
no subject
[ More than ready, if it will mean getting out of this tangle of endless halls. He tries for one of the many doors, ramming his shoulder against it to see if it will open. It doesn't. ]
no subject
As soon as he touches the handle, it disappears.
He punches the wall. ]
no subject
This isn't working. There has to some logic to this - we need to understand it.
no subject
This part is temporary. We just need to suffer through it.
[ Which means he's opening the next available door and holding it for Nie Mingjue. Whereever it goes. ]
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