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funnyhearts2020-09-23 07:30 pm
happyheartsstaff) wrote in funnyhearts2020-09-23 07:30 pm
Entry tags:
TEST DRIVE MEME 005
HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL
You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.
But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —
A hotel lobby?
"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"
Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!
I. INFESTATION
It starts with soft squeaks echoing in the hallways, the lobby, even Oysters' rooms. There's no accompanying scratching or the scurrying of feet that would usually signify an animal in the walls, only incessant squeaking that never seems to let up. Less than a day after it begins, the first squeaking creature makes its appearance. It is quickly followed by another, and another, and another, until one can't take more than a few steps without encountering one.
They range in size from no longer than an inch to almost a foot in length, and can be found everywhere from the pool area to the buffet to crawling beneath the blankets at night. Aside from their constant presence, they seem harmless. The creatures are soft and squishy, warm and dry to the touch, and don't seem to have any claws or even teeth. If they are treated with kindness, they may even become attached to certain Oysters, who will begin to find they can tell the creature apart from the others.
They can also be killed quite easily. They are resilient, and will bounce if dropped, but they have no defense against anything sharp and the smaller ones will not recover if stepped on.
The hotel staff view the little green creatures with varying levels of distaste, from mild irritation to shrieking at the sight of one.
"It always happens this time of year," one staff may say if asked. "The weather changes, they come in from the garden."
"They're hiding," another may state. "Who wouldn't? It's much safer in here."
Safer from what, you may ask?
The hotel staff give no answer to that.
After only a few days, the small creatures will begin to change. Those who have been shown kindness will become softer, fluffier. Prolonged contact with them will invoke feelings of happiness, will bring daydreams that feel real, though no one else can see them.
Those who have not been treated kindly will become more resilient, with spikes sharp enough to prick skin at the slightest touch. Stumbling over one of these will cause terrible hallucinations, waking nightmares that can only be dispelled with assistance from another.
They range in size from no longer than an inch to almost a foot in length, and can be found everywhere from the pool area to the buffet to crawling beneath the blankets at night. Aside from their constant presence, they seem harmless. The creatures are soft and squishy, warm and dry to the touch, and don't seem to have any claws or even teeth. If they are treated with kindness, they may even become attached to certain Oysters, who will begin to find they can tell the creature apart from the others.
They can also be killed quite easily. They are resilient, and will bounce if dropped, but they have no defense against anything sharp and the smaller ones will not recover if stepped on.
The hotel staff view the little green creatures with varying levels of distaste, from mild irritation to shrieking at the sight of one.
"It always happens this time of year," one staff may say if asked. "The weather changes, they come in from the garden."
"They're hiding," another may state. "Who wouldn't? It's much safer in here."
Safer from what, you may ask?
The hotel staff give no answer to that.
After only a few days, the small creatures will begin to change. Those who have been shown kindness will become softer, fluffier. Prolonged contact with them will invoke feelings of happiness, will bring daydreams that feel real, though no one else can see them.
Those who have not been treated kindly will become more resilient, with spikes sharp enough to prick skin at the slightest touch. Stumbling over one of these will cause terrible hallucinations, waking nightmares that can only be dispelled with assistance from another.
II. THE QUEEN'S GARDEN
The creatures have been in the hotel over a week when a new archway appears in the hotel lobby.
It is nearly October, hotel staff will say. There is a wedding to prepare for, and the yearly harvest festival. The Queen does so love her Oysters, of course, that she is opening up her gardens for both.
The garden itself is expansive, spanning multiple acres. There is a winding path lined with neatly manicured rose bushes in all colors, another overgrown with ivy, another leading through trees with leaves of reds and golds. Groves of fruit trees are heavy with apples and pears. Elaborate water fountains and delicate streams flow between small ponds, each bordered by different types of water plants and filled with everything ranging from goldfish to koi. There is a chill in the air, and scattered throughout the gardens are stone fire pits, a stash of blankets, bags of marshmallows and cartons of fresh pressed apple cider.
It is the only place aside from the pool that Oysters will be able to see the sun instead of the eternal twilight outside of the hotel windows.
Night will fall here, too, and with it all the fire pits are lit. Lanterns line the paths, and some glow from the thick of the gardens themselves, though there are still shadowy places that one can retreat to if desiring privacy.
It is nearly October, hotel staff will say. There is a wedding to prepare for, and the yearly harvest festival. The Queen does so love her Oysters, of course, that she is opening up her gardens for both.
The garden itself is expansive, spanning multiple acres. There is a winding path lined with neatly manicured rose bushes in all colors, another overgrown with ivy, another leading through trees with leaves of reds and golds. Groves of fruit trees are heavy with apples and pears. Elaborate water fountains and delicate streams flow between small ponds, each bordered by different types of water plants and filled with everything ranging from goldfish to koi. There is a chill in the air, and scattered throughout the gardens are stone fire pits, a stash of blankets, bags of marshmallows and cartons of fresh pressed apple cider.
It is the only place aside from the pool that Oysters will be able to see the sun instead of the eternal twilight outside of the hotel windows.
Night will fall here, too, and with it all the fire pits are lit. Lanterns line the paths, and some glow from the thick of the gardens themselves, though there are still shadowy places that one can retreat to if desiring privacy.
III. HEDGE MAZE
The garden is bordered on all sides by a massive wall of shrubbery — a hedge maze, hotel staff will say. They may even warn that those who go in without an escort will find themselves hopelessly lost.
There is nothing stopping Oysters from trying anyway, of course. The entrance to the hedge maze is difficult to find, but not impossible for those who are persistent. No matter what time of day it is in the garden, it will be night in the hedge maze, with no lanterns to guide the way. The entrance back to the garden will glow warm and bright for only a few moments after stepping inside, and will then disappear entirely.
It seems there is no way to go but forward.
The deeper into the maze, the darker it gets, as though even the moon and stars are growing dim. Oysters may catch sounds of soft breathing in the night, and may even observe that the hedge wall itself seems to sway as though something just beyond it — or in it — is moving. Those who enter the maze will find themselves wandering for what feels like hours, days. Does that turn look familiar? Have you been down this way before? Who can tell, when nothing about the maze ever seems to change.
Eventually, Oysters will find that they have been lead back to the garden, exhausted and hungry, though no time at all has passed for everyone else.
There is nothing stopping Oysters from trying anyway, of course. The entrance to the hedge maze is difficult to find, but not impossible for those who are persistent. No matter what time of day it is in the garden, it will be night in the hedge maze, with no lanterns to guide the way. The entrance back to the garden will glow warm and bright for only a few moments after stepping inside, and will then disappear entirely.
It seems there is no way to go but forward.
The deeper into the maze, the darker it gets, as though even the moon and stars are growing dim. Oysters may catch sounds of soft breathing in the night, and may even observe that the hedge wall itself seems to sway as though something just beyond it — or in it — is moving. Those who enter the maze will find themselves wandering for what feels like hours, days. Does that turn look familiar? Have you been down this way before? Who can tell, when nothing about the maze ever seems to change.
Eventually, Oysters will find that they have been lead back to the garden, exhausted and hungry, though no time at all has passed for everyone else.
IV. WELCOME HOME
Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?
Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!
© tessisamess
no subject
He's ready to tell him though. "I waited to tell you, and I won't hold back because you have to know." He said, while he holds his hand and he's afraid that if he tells him the truth, he will slip away from him.
"It happened after you died, after you were killed. Your soultwin came to help me to search for you and we were worried. I was so grieved, that when I see him, I kissed him because I thought you never come back and you are gone forever, like the way I was for thirteen years."
And a short pause, "Then after you came back, I wanted to show him my gratitude and your soul-twin...he declared his love for me, because he believes like you do, and I don't want him to suffer over me. He said our souls are the same across lifetimes and worlds. And I want to keep my promises to Wei Ying to the both of you. So, I kissed him twice to seal it, so that your soul-twin is loved as well and has no fear."
With a bit of relief, "But that was it." Now that he told him the truth, that he has a bond to his soul-twin too, he's ready for his punishment.
no subject
He doesn't know how to respond. He feels this plethora of emotions flow through him and he knows he should say something but he finds that words are not exactly easy to come by for the first time in his life.
In a way this is his own fault. He did tell Lan Wangji that he could do whatever he wanted with his soul twin. It's not like he had ever laid out any rules. He just thought that perhaps there was some unwritten ones that was where the boundaries laid. The other Lan Wangji always made sure that they never did anything that went past those boundaries..nothing that would make it feel like they were being dishonest with the soul twins. Small affections that simply cemented that they cared for each other as much as they were allowed.
But he said that the other Wei Wuxian had confessed his feelings...does this mean that the other two finally talked about things? Do those kisses mean that the boundaries have been wiped away? If that was the case then why didn't the other Lan Wangji tell him as such? Why have they behaved themselves so well if their soul mates didn't feel the need to do so?
But as his mind clicks through various things, he comes back to one thing that Lan Wangji had said. It happened after you had died. He was only dead for three days...only missing from this world for three days. For him it felt like an eternity. An all encompassing darkness and every day he sees those golden marks all over his body he is reminded of that darkness. But as far as actual time it was only three days...and to do something like that when he was gone. Was he someone who was so easy to just get over and move on to someone else?
But does he even have any right to be angry when he basically gave the man permission?
"You...kissed him..twice.." Once when he was dead and once when he was lying in bed completely broken from the experience...He knows he shouldn't be mad but Wei Wuxian finds that the mere timing of the event makes him rather livid and it starts to show on his face. These are the only words he can form at the moment as he tries to figure out exactly what part of this confession he wants to deal with.
no subject
Even if he gave him permission, there's a limit to his loyalty and faithfulness. It was a kiss of passion, and nothing more. His passion broke those boundaries and self-imposing rules, unspoken and unknown, and that he couldn't keep his emotions under self-restraint. The passion that wants what it wants and the truth of the matter is that both Wei Wuxians stirred the fire of his passion in their own way, and his passion doesn't diminish over one over the other.
"...Twice and I returned his feelings." He repeated. He waited and give Wei Wuxian some space to feel anything. Anger. Hate maybe, and he's no stranger to that emotion when Wei Wuxian as the Yiling Patriach hates him. Shock. Disbelief. He expected to have his heartbroken by him again and again. But it's the truth. He knew that he hurt him, and he wanted to give him a chance. A chance to rethink their relationship and the truth of their bond.
"You don't have to marry me if you're not ready or if you changed your mind." He said quietly, with a stoic expression that turns into a silent pain. "But my love for you don't diminish. But I can't marry you unless you know the truth. The truth is that I love you both very much, more so than my own life. My love for the both of you will stand forever and any word from you, and I will keep my silence forever."
no subject
Did it take him dying for the other man to realize what he has tried to explain to him before? Wei Wuxian knows the other man's feelings because they mirror his own. He has loved both lan Wangji's from the moment he realized what he felt was love. And he made sure they both knew it, and continued to know it every day. So he isn't mad that he feels those feelings for his soul twin. He expects him to because he knows that the other Lan Wangji loves him just as much. So those feelings aren't what are upsetting him. What bothers him most is now two things...the timing of those feelings and the fact he waited this long to tell him.
"Lan Zhan...I told you before that I love the other you just like I love you. So why would I be mad that you love the other me? It only makes sense."
He can feel jealous about it or want to prove to this one that his love is more then his soul twins, or make him know that no matter what he will always come back to him. But right now he feels hurt and he has to make sure that Lan Wangji understands why...because the misunderstandings they have had has only caused them great pain and he never wanted to have any more of those.
"I'm a little disappointed that you kissed him in that way when I've never done anything like that with the other you. I've kissed him on the cheek but we've always had a rule to never do anything that might upset our soul twins."
He gives a half turn so that he can see Lan Wangji from the corner of his eye, those cat like pupils narrowing even more in the light of the fire, his eyes practically glowing in the light from his emotions.
"I'm mad because of when you did it. I was only gone for three days...and when I returned and was fragile and broken in so many ways..you went off and did it again." His voice cracks with tears that threaten to fall. "Is that how it will always be? If I am suddenly gone you will just find the arms of the other me and forget all about me so quickly?"
no subject
He would have told him sooner, but he waited for him to get better. To be strong and be ready to receive it. Yet, he worried he revealed it in such a delicate state and a few days before their wedding. He risked for whatever outcome because he rather not hide anything from him, and tell him the truth, and waits on his decision.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's something I don't want to do. You don't have to forgive me." A million negative thoughts of emotions rushed through his mind. That he was being compared to the other Lan Zhan again, the same way the other Wei Yings compared to him, and trying to figure out their bond and their love. He wanted to bite his lips until it bleeds, to punch his fists into trees to get hurt and bleed because his love for them is so strong that his life matters little.
But he has no energy to do so. He just sat, listened, and have him lashed out at him. He nearly grits his teeth when he learns he kissed the other on the cheek, though he expected something deeper. It doesn't matter, it's the same to him. "It's too late for that. The upset and hurt are already done. Your soul-twin, he already knew and he was hurt." As he has seen the jealousy and hurt from the other Wei Wuxian, and how much he has needs unmet and unspoken.
He sat still, frozen in his place, not sure if he could just hug him when he's the one who caused him pain and tears. "I did not forget about you. I never did. Not at all. You're not a replacement. I was grieving because no one can replace you. What if you're gone forever? If you die again and don't come back, I will have no choice but to fight my way out of this place, and I am capable of revenge. I will kill those who hurt you. I won't be the same man that you remember me if this place will take you away from me again and again. The next time if you die, I won't forgive them."
no subject
He wants to believe those words. That Lan Wangji would fight for him and that he would never forgive the ones that hurt him. That he wouldn't just rush into the next person's arms and replace him to feel that void he leaves behind. But how can he trust it now that it has happened once?
A part of him is glad to know now. That the truth did come from this Lan Wangji and not from someone else. If he had found out such a thing from his soul twin or the other Lan Wangji...he doesn't know how he would have reacted. But to find out the truth so late and so close to their wedding just makes it harder to handle.
He turns away again, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping. His shoulders trembling ever so slightly from the effort of holding them back. Those nine tails droop lifelessly as if they were beaten. The ears flat against his head.
If his soul twin was so hurt then he wouldn't have accepted those kisses. But clearly he did otherwise Lan Wangji wouldn't be confessing to him now. And he knows his soul twin as well as he knows himself. He would never have turned down those affections. Has he also told his Lan Wangji about what happened? Or does the heavy weight of confession still sit on his shoulders?
"Do you not trust what I would have done if I had known?" Perhaps he believed that he would just run off into the other Lan Wangji's arms. But doesn't that also bring them back to a lack of trust in him? Is Wei Wuxian so untrustworthy?
no subject
"Wei Ying, I don't know. You're not that hard to talk to, and yet...I'm the one who has trouble speaking from the heart. When I feel its loud, I am silent." He said. "I waited this long because I was waiting on your recovery, so you'll be able to handle it." He explains.
At his explanation, he knew he was giving and kind, and yet why he feels so inadequate? "You are enough, and yet...I think both of our hearts wanted more. I want more of you, and yet sometimes..."
He drifted off in a pause, trying to find words. "Maybe it's not enough. And this place doesn't make me a trusting person as I used to be." It wasn't any of that notion. If anything, he confessed he's really insecure.
"I don't know Wei Ying. I just think...that I am not worthy of your love no matter what I do. You..."
Tears started to stream down from his golden eyes, tears that sting as he speaks with difficulty. "I just want you to look at me. When you give me my books, I am happy. But I wanted more. I want you to sit with me, read my poems, paint me a picture, write to me. Whatever you gave him, give it to me too, I don't know. I want everything."
Looking at him, "Do you think that's fair...?" And suddenly he felt guilty and selfish, and he wishes he hadn't brought this up. His intention is to don't keep secrets from him. While a measure of guilt left, he feels more emotionally exhausted than before. No, because the truth of the matter is, he doesn't want to give him up, and Lan Wangji himself is selfish.
Finally, his heart and mind are going around in circles until at last, he crumbles when Wei Ying started to cry. "Nevermind, forget what I said. I don't deserve you."
Quietly he gets up because both anger and pain are bubbling from the depths of him, and he goes to a nearby tree to vent his frustration and punches it in rapid session. It's going to hurt and make his knuckles bleed, but a million thoughts make everything inside of himself crumble into self-hatred over his pride and perfection that his clan taught him, and there's no word, rhyme, or reason to express the mixture of frustration over his relationships.
no subject
There was so much he still didn't understand. The time he spends with both Lan Wangji are precious, but he has given this one so much more then he has given the other. And he feels like he should be happy that they have finally all understood these feelings they have for each other but he still feels slightly betrayed despite that.
He turns his head as he watches the other man start to walk away, afraid he was just going to leave him behind. Once more the words of the twins echo in his ears and he find that fear of being alone start to bubble up. He opens his mouth to call out to him and all that comes is a choked sob.
So it is almost a relief when the man stops by a tree and unleashing the same kind of fury on it as he had seen him do all those years ago. At the time he didn't know why, but now he does and he feels bad that this is the second time that he has made Lan Wangji unleash such anger.
When he finally trusts his voice it is still shaky from the fear of moments ago, "Lan Zhan.." He takes a couple unsteady steps towards him, trying to get back some of his confidence.
"You say you want more and you want whatever I give to him to be yours. But I've given you so much more then I've ever given him. I've given you myself, my body, my soul. You're the only one I've ever kissed on the lips or been intimate with. You're the one I wake up next to every day and you're the one I'm going to marry. Does none of that count?"
He looks down at the ground as he stops a few feet away from the other man, his heart feeling like it got left behind in a trail of broken pieces from the fire to this point.
"I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. After everything I've done, I don't deserve anything. The hotel should have left me dead..."
But there is something that still bothers him despite that, "But if it had..I would want you to find happiness with the other me someday. After you have avenged whomever caused me to be that way..and your anger is gone..I want you to move on. Because I'd rather you were happy then to be lost like you were for all those years. I don't deserve to be mourned for thirteen years. Especially not when there is someone just like me here to help you heal." Being told what he did right after he died was a shock. It was hard to accept because of the timing..because he did come back. But as he works out everything in his heart and his mind now that he knows the truth, he understands and accepts it. It still hurts but that won't ever change.
But perhaps it also hurts because there is still uncertainty in his heart, "But if the reason you kissed him when I was back was because I can't make you happy..then you should be with someone who can."
no subject
He slowly turns around to look at him, and rather not facing the tree, which he broke pass the thick layer of bark and punched it into splinters. "...I can't take him home with me. He belongs to the other one. He is not mine, even if I give a small part of my life to him, so he has something happy to cherished, it's not going to be enough. You're the one who is mine and the one I vowed and promise to take home. Of course, you deserved happiness. The hotel has no right to take your life. The hotel has no right to take you away from me. You already died for your sins, you don't need to die for something you didn't do. You did nothing wrong."
He takes a deep sigh, composing himself. "No. The reason I kissed him when you came back because Wei Ying is unhappy and we are both selfish. When you're gone, there is no replacement of you. And I'm someone who isn't capable of making you both happy because I don't understand why you love me. Kisses, hugs, gifts, what are they worth? Absolutely nothing. Wei Ying, you're my soulmate. I will not move on. It's not that simple. Because I have chosen to. You do make me happy. I missed you terribly when you were gone. And despite that, you feel you don't deserve anything despite everything that you and I did..."
He walks over because he senses his fear. That he will walk away because of his imperfections, that he is inadequate, that he is easily replaced. "I still love you and choose you, in your two lifetimes, and the many more to come. I choose you and nobody else. Because despite everything, you're....you're just right and I'm sorry."
Feeling calmer, "I'm just angry that my love isn't enough and I'll lose you again. What I must do to keep you? Would you be happier with the other if we let each other go or switch places? These are the doubts in my mind everyday."
no subject
"Have I done something to make you think those things? Has there ever been a night when I didn't come home to you and made you doubt my loyalty? Have I ever said something to cause you to to feel like I did more with hm?"
His voice is weak, tired from the strain of all these emotions and mentally fragile. Perhaps they needed this...perhaps before they can possibly get married these doubts and truths must be voiced. Because by entering into the marriage with so much weight on their hearts and shoulders would only cause they pain in the long run. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with now, even knowing that they need to do this.
"Is the only reason you stay with me because I am the one from your world? Does he make you happier?"
These weren't thoughts he had ever had until this moment, but now the fear grips him like a vice. Does Lan Wangji really want to take his soul twin back with him instead? Perhaps after all this time the one Lan Wangji really loves is his soul twin. Perhaps he is the one that is truly in both their hearts and this Wei Wuxian is the one on the outside.
He feels his legs grow weak from the mere thought of that and his knees buckle. He plops down on the ground as if his legs just can't support his weight any longer.
no subject
For a few moments, his anger was like a volcano, it erupted and the emotions he had just slowly oozed out like a fiery lava. "I'm sorry." That's all he could say and offer in response to his questions. "No. I stay with you because I want to, and you're the only one who could make me happy. There's nobody else."
Instead, he sat down to slump and leaned his back on the three, and lean his head against the tree, because he felt like he's going crazy over what he supposed to feel. But he felt all the anger in his body finally left him, and in place, there just total powerless and despair. His knuckle is slight bruising, but he doesn't care.
A few moments of silence, and then slowly he reaches over to Wei Ying, taking his hand to pull him over into a hug if he's willing to come. "I'm sorry." Though he said so in tears, realizing he made a mistake of losing his temper. "You're hurt and I'm hurting you."
no subject
"We're not supposed to have any secrets, Lan Zhan. If I did something to make you have all these doubts then you're supposed to tell me."
Wei Wuxian is incredibly observant at times, and terribly naive and clueless at others. He spent most of his life never realizing Lan Wangji's feelings. Which means even now he has a hard time noticing when the other is upset with him.
"I love you and I don't want to do something that hurts you."
He tucks his face against Lan Wangji's neck. The man is allowed to be angry or sad or frustrated with him. All those emotions are important and Wei Wuxian wants to be able to soothe them away not be the cause of them.
"But I also love the other you, and you love the other me. And we both have to accept that as well even if that love can't compare to what we have."
no subject
He's going to wrap his arms around him for a hug. "I still want you and I care about you very much. When you came back, I was both happy and very devastated by your death. It has been two times now, Wei Ying."
At his confession that he loves another, it's like another stab at his heart, but for some reason, it hurts a lot less and more like acceptance. Taking a deep breath, he is finally perceptive of what he needs and he has a breakthrough. "All right. All right." He huffs. At this point, he doesn't care. Cooly, stating hollowly, "It's fine. I'll accept it." No, not really, but he's going to try to make their relationships work. "This is difficult, but we can make this work out somehow. I don't know, but I only love Wei Ying and nobody else. I let you and your soul-twin in, because you're both so loving and kind, and my heart accepts the both of you."
no subject
Because it wouldn't be fair to them if they are still not aware. And as odd and difficult a conversation that might be, it has to be done in some way.
He doesn't want to think about his deaths anymore so he doesn't say anything about that. He's had to dwell on that too much already and he still gets nightmares almost every night from the attack. It isn't something that will be going away any time soon. But he doesn't want to think about that in this moment.
"Yours is the only bed I want to be in Lan Zhan. Even if we love the others, it doesn't mean we have to give ourselves to them completely. Nor would they possibly want us to. They have each other just as we do."
no subject
When it comes to intimacy and sex, which is a very sensitive subject to him. "Wei Ying, I'm going to be your husband. You are the only one I want to go with bed, absolutely." That's something they can both trust to agree on. But even if they want to share each other, it maybe later when they're in a different mindset and if things change. But not right now with the emotional fragility.
But he does feel a weight is off his chest now. So quietly, "I think I feel better now. I don't...want to hold anything back from you. I hate myself for hurting you." Because now his hand is just hurt and sore, and he is strong even without his golden core, so he has to go and take care of that later.
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"We've hurt each other but we will also be able to heal each other." Because only Lan Wangji is able to make his heart feel complete. And no matter what happens or what arguments they have, they will always find a way to get past it and return to the way they should be.
Those ears finally perk back up as he lowers that injured hand into his lap. "I love you, Lan Zhan. That will never change."
He leans up and kisses his cheek as lightly as he had just kissed the hand.
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"Mn. I don't know what to do without you. You're my other half." It should be that simple, but it's complicated. It boils down, they're in love with their other version of themselves, and he doesn't know how to handle it.
He closed his eyes and accept his kisses. "And...I'm grateful that you love me and still do. Thank you."
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"We're soulmates forever, Lan Zhan. You're stuck with me until you decide you're sick of me."
He tries to have a little bit of a teasing lift to his voice as he says that and the ends of those fox tails twitch in response. He threads the fingers of his hand through the injured one of Lan Wangji's very carefully. Not wanting to hurt him but also wanting that contact. He nestles his face against the man's neck.
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His playfulness works, so he's going to pet through his ears, and then over his tails to confirmed he felt better, and he's hugging him with his arms around him as they hurdle this obstacle together.
"Wei Ying, I'm cold. So let's go back to the fire pit where we can get warmer. I think we left some marshmallows back." And from there, he can be affectionate to him properly.
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But he is also willing to go back to the fire and finish the sweet treats that he can distracted from before. So he lifts his head up and crawls off his lap so he can pop back up onto his feet.
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They walked together to the firepit where it's much warmer, and they can finally have their smores and cuddle up with his fox-husband-to be.
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"Don't you think it looks like they have been getting the gardens ready for the wedding?"
Wei Wuxian can't help but notice the differences and the additions since the last time they were out here.
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"Mn. It seems like it. The lanterns look like ours back home. So somehow, I think the Queen knows."
Meanwhile, because he feels lonely, he cuddles up to him to feel for his body, his tails, and his warmth, and because he was emotionally exhausted and he misses him.
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"She seems to know everything else about us so knowing about the wedding just seems to make sense."
She knows a little too much to the point it can be creepy. But if it makes their work to get ready for the wedding a little easier then who is he to complain.
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He eats half-way and laid the marshmallow aside and just let it burn until it's black. "Mn. She kept us, prisoner, for so long. For how long, I do not know." He said, solemn. For now, the garden provides a measure of freedom, being outside.
For now to him the purpose of the wedding to make their bond solid, a ceremony that symbolized that they're inseparable and he vowed to bring Wei Ying back home, alive and preferably in one piece. "No matter what they throw at us, we'll overcome it." A part of him is certain since this he has been in love with him for over a decade and it has never changed.
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