funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wei Ying, there's barely a shirt.

[ His whole chest will be visible! His scar will be visible!

Lan Wangji panics and grabs the nearest shirt to also hand to Wei Ying, which happens to be a band tee, except he has no idea what a band tee is, so it really just looks like a piece of cloth with missing sleeves and the worst print of all time. ]

You worry too much, Lan Zhan.

[This body doesn't have the scar of the brand anymore. Although Mo's body isn't completely free of typical scars it is far cleaner then Wei Wuxian's original one. He stares at the t-shirt he is given and shakes his head as he takes both to the fitting room.]

You better be looking for your own or else you're trying on the first time I can put my hand on!

[ That sends Lan Wangji into a panic to go through the store and find something suitable, even though he knows he could just disappoint Wei Ying and be done with this nonsense.

Somehow, he finds a white silk shirt with a beautiful pattern on it of light blue fish, almost as if painted on porcelain. He discovers a pair of white slacks, too tight for him, but better than nothing. And a pair of white canvas loafers. That should do. ]

[Wei Wuxian bounces back out in that barely a shirt with an amused expression on his face. He's wearing his typical black pants since he hadn't bothered to grab any others but the rest of his many layers are gone.]

It's definitely more airy then what I'm used to.

[That's an understatement. No more thick layers and leather. This shirt leaves little to the imagination. He strikes a pose.]

What do you think, Lan Zhan?

[ Lan Wangji doesn't even think he wants to look at this, but he steels himself and does, and good gods in heaven strike him down, please. ]

It would cause a scandal.

[ Not that Wei Ying has ever really cared about causing any sorts of scandals, but for this one, he would definitely be culpable. Anyway, that's really all he has to say about that as he looks away to give Wei Ying some decency. ]

Every article of clothing in this store appears to be missing some fabric.

My whole life has been a scandal, Lan Zhan. Why should my clothing be any different?

[He walks over and looks at what Lan Wangji has chosen.]

You seem to have found a nice shirt! I don't see any missing pieces in it. Are you going to try it on?

[He filters through the clothing on a rack, remembering that he still has the other shirt that Lan wangji selected for him in the room. But he finds more enjoyment in his current outfit at least while he can torment Lan wangji with it.]

Yes.

[ Mostly, he says this so that he can jump into a dressing room and hope that Wei Ying has decided to put on a real shirt by the time he comes back out. It would be irresponsible for him to let Wei Ying walk out of this store with that garment.

Lan Wangji steps out with his sleeves rolled up and the shirt tucked into his pants, as it is fashioned on the mannequin. In fact, aside from the fact that his hair is long and he's still wearing the headband and hairpiece, he looks very modern.

Or, he would, but he opens the door only a crack and doesn't come out. ]

It feels like I am wearing pajamas or underwear.

[He doesn't even bother to go back in the dressing room other then to toss the one he has on to the floor and pull on the t-shirt that Lan Wangji had handed him, pulling it on and down as he wanders around the boutique. He continues to shop around when he hears the door open to the other man's room.

He wanders back over and puts his hand on the door, trying to peek inside.]

It can't be that bad, Lan Zhan. And what is wrong with wearing pajamas? Think how comfortable you'd be all day! No one here seems to care what anyone is wearing.

[Probably because everyone knows they are from so many different cultures. He doesn't really expect Lan wangji to stay in the clothes but he does want to see them on him.]

Show me, Lan Zhan! I even put on the other shirt so I'm covered now.

[ Lan Wangji steps out of the dressing room averting his gaze, looking slightly annoyed but also somehow like he usually looks.

He looks sharp, well-dressed for a modern man. Somehow there's not a wrinkle in sight, and he's managed to pick pants that show off his tiny waist and how long his legs are. ]

Wei Ying.

[ He finally looks over. ]

Was that supposed to be a shirt?

[ It definitely seemed more like a flag or a banner. He doesn't understand these fashions. ]

[Wei Wuxian hadn't even looked at what he put on honestly. But now he's too distracted by the other man. He whistles, nodding his head in approval. The man seems to make anything look good and Wei Wuxian finds himself admiring him once again.]

It doesn't look like pajamas. You look very nice, Lan Zhan.

[Finally he looks down at his own attire.]

You gave it to me because you didn't like the first one! Is this one no good either? Clearly I'm not meant for this kind of clothing if you keep disapproving. I'll have to find something else.

[And shameless as he is he just takes the shirt off where he stands and tosses it into the pile that has become a mix of his clothing and the discarded ones and goes to look for something else.]

Wei Ying--

[ He is not even going to question his taking his shirt off in the middle of the store and leaving it in a pile for the employees to deal with. No, he wouldn't know where these are supposed to go because he'd forgotten which of these racks he'd pull them off of.

He catches up, and takes Wei Ying by the arm. ]

It's not you. It's the clothing.

[ Wei Ying, he's happy to see. Even if he doesn't seem like it, but you know how he is. But now that they're in this part of the store, Lan Wangji spies a particularly ostentatious black shirt made of burnout velvet in a damask pattern. The sleeves go past the wrist and have little red ribbons gathering them together. But he quite likes the fabric, and it's a familiar wrapped front, so he pulls it off the hanger and hands it to Wei Ying. ]

[ OoC: PS it definitely looks like this guess he's just gonna have mesh shirts from now on ]

[Wei Wuxian looks at the shirt, amused that it is once again see through. It's a really good thing he isn't shy. He takes the shirt and pulls it on. It's oddly comfortable and he rubs his hand along the velvet, enjoying the texture. He makes sure all the wrap and ties are done up, liking that the red ribbon at his sleeves match the ribbon holding up all his hair.]

Does this one look better? Maybe I need to stop asking you since you are so hard to please.

[He looks around as if to find someone who has a more modern take on things to see if he is even pulling it off at all.]

I think I saw some cute staffers around here some place...

[ On the contrary, this garment is a nice fabric. It has texture to it which roughly resembles a brocade. It has a nice pattern. It reminds him slightly of Wei Ying's clothes with the spots on it that look like cow spots. It has ribbons that match his hair. It has a proper neckline and everything. And it looks like it was made with care. ]

Mm. Better.

[ But he won't mind if Wei Ying goes off to get a second opinion from a nice young shop girl. He really was always excessively flirtatious. He obviously had Lan Wangji assuming the incorrect things at the start as a result. ]

You need pants.

[ He says this, remembering their earlier conversation. ]

[Having been in Mo Xuanyu's body for so long he has kept most of his flirting to the male side of things, having to keep up appearances. But they aren't on their world and here people don't know of the other man's tendencies. For Wei Wuxian, the only man in his sights is Lan Wangji but he can't help but still let that flirt flag fly once in awhile. But not seeing any employees in the vicinity he keeps his attentions here.]

You did a good job with the shirt, let's see how you do with my lower body.

[Said perhaps a little coyly as he sidles up to Lan Wangji. He forgets that this particular Lan Wangji might not be used to his games while in this body. When he was still hopeful that the other didn't know who he was, he would often lay on him at night and mess with him, playing off the fact that this man's reputation proceeded him and that Lan Wangji had willingly taken him home regardless.]

[ Lan Wangji is, in fact, slightly confused about this sudden proximity, but he brushes it off as yet another odd quirk of Wei Ying's. He likes to flirt without meaning to flirt. He likes to be close, and yet as soon as Lan Wangji thinks of opening up and reciprocating his affections, he does something stupid like ask if Lan Wangji is interested in Mian Mian.

He tries his best to ignore this display of... this display, and he is very, very good at ignoring things. ]

Here.

[ He picks out a simple pair of black culottes and there wasn't an edit to this.... Obviously... he picks up a belt instead, which is a red ribbon, matching with the general aesthetic. ]

Edited 2020-05-27 22:45 (UTC)

[Luckily Wei Wuxian is used to Lan Wangji ignoring his antics so he isn't bothered by it as he gets handed a pair of culottes and the ribbon. He nods in approval and this time he actually goes to dressing room to get changed.

While he is in there he also collects his clothing and puts them in a neater pile while also hanging up the two rejected shirts. Then once dressed he admire the look in the mirror. It's actually not a bad look and Wei Wuxian nods his approval before heading back out to show off his new wardrobe.]

Everything is so light and airy. [Not hard when used to wearing leather and layers.]

Does this look suit me, Lan Zhan? Should I wear it while I show you around the hotel?

If you wish.

[ Lan Wangji meanwhile goes back into the dressing room to put on his old clothes because he thinks they suit him better. This manner of dress is too breezy and light. It makes him feel uncomfortably exposed.

He is out quickly for the fact that his clothes take a long time to put on, since there are so many pieces. ]

How much is yours?

[ He rifles through for his money, intending to put both articles of clothing on his dime because he's sweet like that and he knows Wei Ying can't afford to bankroll himself. ]

Everything here is free, Lan Zhan. The hotel doesn't charge for anything.

[Which means Wei Wuxian is going into the dressing room that Lan Wangji just came out of and grabbing those clothes as well as his normal clothes and carrying all of it one of the people in charge.]

Food, drinks, games..use of the facilities. All of it is just given to us.

All of it?

[ That seems incredibly fishy, Wei Ying, how are you not seeing this. ]

We shouldn't accept.

[ No one just gives this all for free and expects nothing in return. Remember when the Wens offered to train everyone out of the goodness of their hearts? ]

[Wei Wuxian might not trust it but what choice does he have? It's not like he has any money anyway.]

If you don't accept it, then you're going to starve.

[He hands the clothes to the associate who agrees to have them sent to his room. He smiles at her cutely as he gives her his room number. Flirting at its finest as she giggles and takes the clothing away.

He then turns back to Lan Wangji.]

I know this isn't going to be easy for you, Lan Zhan..but a lot about this place doesn't make much sense.

[Two Lan Wangji's for instance. Greatest fantasy..or nightmare? Hard to say.]

[ Obviously a nightmare, as one of them is busy still trying to wrap his mind around the whole situation and slowly feeling like the more Wei Ying just accepts what's going on, the madder they've all become. ]

Try to explain.

[ He takes one of the bags to carry as they leave the store. He hopes that things start making a modicum more sense soon, or else he might start to lose some of the cool and calm he's reputed to always having. ]

[Wei Wuxian has spent three weeks dealing with various crazy effects and it no closer to understanding any of it. He hasn't given up, but he has decided that wasting energy trying to figure out the impossibility of it all is exactly what would drive him mad.]

What we've been able to figure out so far..is that the hotel is basically harnessing emotions..or studying them..or just runs on it. I'm not sure exactly what it wants with it. But the most it pushes us into impossible situations..the more emotions it can pull from us.

[He starts counting his misfortunes on his fingers.]

I've been shrunksmall, drank something that made me feel happiness, was blind in a hotel that was constantly changing, and most recently under a lust spell..

[ This is a lot. This has all happened in three weeks? ]

Wei Ying.

[ He has died before. That was his choice. Coming back -- coming back in someone else's body, was not. Being driven to madness, to hatred, was not. Even becoming happy, though it is usually a good thing, was not done by his choice.

Lan Wangji wishes, more than anything, to keep Wei Ying from harm. To keep him from this stupid hotel's tricks, dragging him along by his destiny, reminding him he is just a puppet as any of the puppets they had fought.

It was unjust. It was unfair! They had finally been freed - Lan Wangji, finally having secured a position of influence to tell everyone the truth, and then wait for their insidious social sphere to do all the gossiping for them as he took off to go join Wei Ying in an adventure that was finally just their own. No longer tied to their titles of Yiling Patriarch, or of Chief Cultivator, they were free to choose their own future.

He grits his teeth, and sharply inhales his anger, before letting it go. ]

[Wei Wuxian looks up at the other man. His life has never been easy and perhaps he has gotten used to always being pulled along as a piece of someone else's plan. The more he fights it, the deeper the hole he gets tossed into. But at least the hotel's tricks are temporary and he can shrug them off as soon as they are over. They aren't like the scars that were left on his soul after all the events of his previous life were played out.

He watches the very subtle expressions that pass over Lan Wangji's face. Even if the other doesn't realize it, Wei Wuxian has learned how to read him pretty well. But he isn't sure if the anger he sees is at the hotel or something else.

But during his time here he has figured out other things..about himself and about Lan Wangji. Even if this is a different one, the men are the same and he imagines so are their feelings towards him.]

Are you worried, Lan Zhan?

[Perhaps Wei Wuxian should be worried too. Without his dark cultivation methods..he is very much just a normal human in a weak body with no golden core. If the hotel were really dangerous there isn't a whole lot he could do. And even his emotions had always been something that got him in trouble. And maybe that is why the hotel has been so difficult on him. He makes for an easy target.]

[ Wangji means to forget about worldly matters, and Bichen to relinquish oneself of worldly goods. And yet, here he is, deeply concerned over their lives, their roles, their hopes squandered.

He supposes, he has not really been aptly named for at least the last few years. ]

Are you not?

[ But he continues on, walking with Wei Ying as they are wont to do. It shouldn't be so hard to show him everything about the hotel anyway, so he should at least try to remain calm through the tour. ]

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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