funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

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He nods. They should at least go look for one more.

The bathroom seems as good a place to start as any, and it's closer to some of the other public areas. He takes Dianxia's hand again, and walks him out of the room so they can head out.

He curls his fingers around Hua Cheng's and watches the other from the corner of his eye. Wondering how he is handling not having access to any of his spiritual power. Xie Lian is fairly used to it but he knows it is probably unsettling for most people here.

"We will definitely be able to get home."

"En, of course gege." But he feels a little bit more useless than usual, considering he trained all these years specifically to help Xie Lian, and it feels right now it's all for naught, that he's failed. And so he looks forward unhappily, and clings onto Xie Lian.

"We should take this opportunity to see what we can learn about this place. If we do find out how to get home, it might be more complicated then simply having a code. And I'd like to be able to help everyone to return as well." He doesn't want to simply jump into leaving if there is the chance to save everyone. As much as he would like to return, doing so and knowing he left others behind would bother him.

Of course Gege would want to bring home everyone, to help everyone. San Lang will help him no matter what, of course. He starts heading towards the elevator, hand firmly grasping Xie Lian's, fingers lacing together.

He gives Hua Cheng's hand a little squeeze, wishing he could make the other feel better about being here. But the only way to do that is to find the key that will get them back home.

One of the oddest things about the hotel is the little box that is able to take them up and down the floors of the building. He pushes the button and they don't even have to wait as the doors open right up. He leads the other man inside of it.

He goes inside and thinks it's a neat trick, but certainly not as useful as distance shortening arrays. And for climbing, there wasn't anything wrong with just... his legs.

"Dianxia, have you heard from our captors?" he asks.

He looks up at the other once they are inside and shakes his head. "I don't think they really talk to us. At least, they haven't made themselves known to me. No one seems to know much about them."

He has been given snippets of information from the others captured here. The staff themselves are terribly unhelpful. But the ones that actually have the power to bring them here seem to be oddly unwilling to appear. It's interesting considering most people who want to control others make a habit of making themselves known.

"Rude, that they want to invite us but not see us," he says, though with that wiry smile on his face. Still, if they don't want to see Xie Lian, it's their loss.

He saunters his way towards the bathrooms, and ducks inside to check, but he finds nothing except the automatic hand-blower machine.

Xie Lian steps inside as well, "Do you see anything out of place?" The little pieces of paper might not all be green. They might also not all be pieces of paper if they are meant to be clues. But he doesn't really know how these messages are supposed to work so he is trying to consider all possibilities.

He doesn't know what these bathrooms are supposed to look like, so he can't really say that he can find anything strange about this.

He keeps looking, however, and doesn't spy any notes, though he spends quite a long time reading a caution notice about not tossing anything but toilet paper down the toilet.

"No luck, gege," he answers.

Everything about this hotel is strange so perhaps they are the wrong pair to be looking for things that are out of place, but that doesn't mean they can't try. If they can't find anything else then they simply will return to the room and figure out the one clue they did locate.

He glances at the sign but figures if it is important or of interest Hua Cheng will tell him about it. After confirming that there doesn't seem to be anything out of place he turns back to his companion.

"Should we continue down the hall to the next set of rooms? I'm afraid I haven't really done a lot of exploring yet so I'm not really sure what is nearby."

"Mm," he responds, walking with Xie Lian to the new locations, as he hasn't seen many of them yet either.

The first thing down from the bathrooms are, naturally, the restaurant and cafeteria.

"You aren't hungry are you, gege?"

He looks into the restaurant, curious about the food of this place. He doesn't have to cook here which is probably a blessing for everyone.

"I don't mind taking a break for a meal. Let's find a seat."

He hasn't really thought about food much since being there so he is curious how it wil taste in this place and what they offer.

Hua Cheng leads his Dianxia into the restaurant and gets them a seat by the windows, overlooking perpetual twilight. But he's not interested in the windows, he only has eyes for Dianxia.

The waiter comes over to ask them what they'd like, and Hua Cheng requests they start them both off with some tea.

He smiles up at the waiter as he arrives and lets Hua Cheng order the drinks. He picks up the menu that the man leaves behind and looks at the various foods. Luckily the little device they were given seems to translate things quite well but he still doesn't recognize the names of much of the food on it. At least the descriptions are slightly helpful.

"The amount of variety on here is quite impressive." The only place he has seen a greater variety was Ghost City. But it's variety lies in the uniqueness of the cuisine available.

"The names they have given the foods though is quite lacking." There is nothing terribly exciting about a food known as a 'hamburger'.

It also doesn't make any sense. What on Earth is a hamburger? But anyway, he supposes that's not the point. "We will get them, and you can suggest new names," he says. But also, this isn't court dining, and there's no reason for them to give fancy names to the food, when this place isn't trying to be a court.

He supposes if they stay for an extended period of time, it might then be due time to give fancy names. When the waiter comes back, Hua Cheng orders a whole spread of foods that is way too much for the two of them to finish.

Xie Lian stares at him in surprise. Even if the food is free that is far too much. What can they possibly do with all of that when it comes? At least it will allow them to try a variety of things and he knows that it will indeed be edible.

He picks up his drink and sips it as he watches Hua Cheng from the corner of his eye. The man always seems to relaxed no matter where they are but he wonders how he is really doing. After a bit he lowers it and looks at him more fully.

"How are you handling being here? It must be quite a change to not have any of your powers." One of the great ghost kings unable to use his abilities much be quite a shock. For Xie Lian not having power was hardly something new.

Honestly, he's handling it okay. He also used to be powerless - a mere ghost, at the mercy of a vendor who was going to sell him to a small child. Gege had rescued him then.

"As long as you are here, I am fine." He offers a soft smile, and reaches out for his hand. There's much he'd like to tell Xie Lian, but they can wait until they're home. He doesn't know who's watching, after all.

"Gege, don't worry about San Lang, okay?" He gives Xie Lian's hand a little squeeze, and then retrieves the dishes that the waiter comes out with.

The hand on his is gentle and he wishes it would stay there for a bit longer as he studies the other's expression.

"Of course I'm going to worry.." He gets cut off as the waiter appears and starts to place out the dishes. Xie Lian stares at it all in amazement. He's going to have to make sure to package up anything they don't eat and take it back with him. Wasting any of it would be a shame.

"This really is too much." But it all looks so incredible. Even the things that had the really inadequate names.

Of course gege is going to worry, but Hua Cheng just wants to alleviate it all. He softly caresses the palm in his, careful not to take too much, only what his Dianxia is willing to give.

"I will try to exercise more caution next time," he resolves, but his heart is too relieved in this moment, to have him.

He feels his ears heat up a little from the attention and tries to distract himself with all the food, not realizing that he should probably claim his hand back from Hua Cheng. "We should be very cautious here until we understand it better. But for now we will relax and enjoy the meal."

It has been a long time since he has seen this much food spread across a table before him. So used to the meager little meals he would make at the shrine..as inedible for most as those might be.

Hua Cheng would love to eat those inedible things, but instead, he will have to settle for spoiling his favorite gege. He looks at Xie Lian more than he eats, peering fondly at him, occasionally taking a bite as to not appear rude.

"Dianxia, is it good? To your taste?"

"It is very good! All of it is so different from the foods we usually have." Even as strangly as the hamburger is named..it's taste is decent. He tries a little bit of everything until he determines what some of his favorites are and goes back to those.

He can feel Hua Cheng's eyes on him and so that pink tinge never seems to want to leave his ears as he tries not to focus too much on it. Occasionally he gives him a small piece of food to try if he finds something that is particularly tasty.

Hua Cheng will make an attempt at eating just little morsels of food, but he is a ghost after all, and nothing is better than gege's cooking.

"Mm," he hums in agreement anyway, not taking his eyes off of his Dianxia. "Where should we go after this, do you think?"

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

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