funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 004

TEST DRIVE MEME 004

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. TIME TO PARTY

What timing you have, to be arriving at Happy Hearts now! The hotel is bustling, filled to the brim with guests that don't bear the green mark denoting them as Oysters. Hotel staff are equally as busy, catering to the needs of their extra company on top of the Oysters. Musicians arrive in a flurry of fanfare, demanding the attention of everyone in their wake. If the hotel staff are a little more hurried, a little less friendly and accommodating to new Oysters, surely they can be excused, right?

No matter. There's a party to go tonight, the very one that the musicians are here to play at. They set up in the massive pool area, roping off some areas for dancing, others for tables lined with all manner of food and drink. Indulgence teas make an appearance throughout the night. Anyone who drinks one will find themselves with lowered impulse control, lack of restraint, a desire to partake of things they would normally be wary of, giving into their particular vices much more frequently, etc.

If you intended to miss the party, you may find it difficult to ignore. The celebrations spill out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby, the restaurants, the bars, even up onto the floors of the Oysters' rooms. The music is loud enough to be heard anywhere in the hotel, making sleep a difficulty. You might as well enjoy yourself, right? Or perhaps find someone else attempting to avoid the celebration to commiserate with. It will stop some time in the late hours, at least, and all signs of it will be gone the next day.

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

Even after the hotel is no longer quite so full, hotel staff always seem in the middle of doing something or other when they're asked for something. There's just not enough time in the day, is there, for everything that must be done? Any Oysters who point out that there seems to be several other staff members mingling about with nothing to do will be met with silence.

But not to worry! All your needs will still be met. The hotel does have its automated customer service system, for times such as these! Computer screens are available at the counter of every store, at every table in the restaurants, at the bar and spa and gym. Calling for room service? Needing more towels at the pool? Want to book a service at the spa or get a drink at the bar? Simply place your request directly with the system, and whatever you desire will be delivered right to you!

There are still some bugs to be worked out, of course. Were those not the clothes you wanted? Oh, dear, perhaps someone else got yours by mistake. You can't even eat whatever type of food was served to you? Better double check the system — and look, what you have in front of you is exactly the order that was placed? Are you sure you're not the one who was mistaken?

A hotel staff member will eventually correct whatever went wrong, should Oysters not being able to sort out the mix up themselves.

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Just when it felt like you were getting the layout of the hotel down — you were getting the layout of the hotel down, weren't you? If you thought so before, you may doubt it now. There was a night club here just last night, wasn't there? And a spa over there, a gym just beyond them? If there ever was, there's certainly no sign of them now. There's only a blank wall, a dead end.

Turning to go back the way you came will be of little help. There is no way you came, just another hallway. And another, and another, until you may find yourself quite hopelessly turned around. If you're lucky, it may not be too long before you run into a helpful member of the hotel staff.

They'll be happy to direct you anywhere you need, of course. "The spa?" they'll say. "Do we have a spa? That's news to me. Oh but we're always adding new amenities, of course, that's one of the joys of the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino!"

Perhaps you'd like directions back to the lobby? Well, they can certainly provide that. You're not alone, are you? A shame. They're much too busy to escort you back themselves. It's a bit of a maze, during renovations, one always easier to navigate with a friend to keep an eye on things.

It won't take long to realize they mean that literally. The hallways don't move as long as someone's watching them, and it will be much easier to follow the staff's directions back to the hotel lobby with one person to look in front and one behind. Hopefully you'll find someone else just as lost as you are.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

All hotel amenities on the world info page are available except for the nightclub, the gym, and the hotel spa. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ His head ducks a little, only partially hiding a smile that is far too amused to be befitting the Lan sect leader - but then, he's always been less concerned about such things with Mingjue. ]

That we are so far removed from Cloud Recesses is an exception enough itself. And - my uncle cannot be disappointed about what he isn't aware of.

[ It's not an entirely new policy for him, of course, when there are loopholes such as using his golden core to burn away the effects of alcohol to be found, but he admittedly might not have stated it so easily if they weren't so far from home.

When Mingjue comes closer, he can't resist the urge to reach out to rest a hand his shoulder, gripping it briefly. He'd rather give into the desire to wrap his arms around him, to reassure himself that this is real, but he will keep at least some of his composure. His response to that is immediate - it doesn't matter to him anymore than it did with Wangji. They may not be the same person, but both are still his brother. ]

Always. I can't imagine you would be so different from the Mingjue I know, where it matters.

[ A smile is such a small thing to be pleased by, but to see Lan Xichen duck to hide the genuine article, rather than the pleasant, perfunctory ones he so often offered was most certainly pleasing. It would be the height of foolishness to let go of his cautions, and yet Nie Mingjue must be somewhat the fool, for when a hand is placed on his shoulder, he steps forward and returns the gesture, squeezing. ]

I would hope. It's difficult to imagine myself a different man - just as I cannot imagine you to be different from the Xichen I swore to.

[ Concern lights in his dark eyes as he looks over his sworn brother. ]

I have learned something of this place from the others I've encountered. Are you well?

[ He will not press, nor force the exposure of wounds. His question leaves it open to what degree Lan Xichen will share. ]

[ He allows himself just a moment to bask in the contact, eyes closing so he can breathe deeply and re-center himself - not around Mingjue, no matter how tempting it is.

When he opens his eyes again, he sees the concern in Mingjue's, and he doesn't quite know how to answer that question. He is, arguably, doing better here than he had been when he was taken from Cloud Recesses. Here there are brothers to protect, the secrets of this place to unravel, Meng Yao's future to try to change. At home there was nothing but the weight of his mistakes, blood on his hands, and re-evaluating everything he had ever known.

He supposes the answer is no. He is not well. But there are far more important things to worry about than that. ]

As well as I can be, with two Wei Wuxians to get themselves into trouble, and two Lan Wangjis trying to protect them from themselves. I am sorry you have to endure such a place, Mingjue, but I must admit it is good to have someone else I trust. I have -

[ He cuts himself off before he can say missed you, because he knows it will not come out as one who has spent a few months away from their sworn brother in dangerous territory. Lan Xichen has missed him for years, in a way he no longer has the right to. ]

I was wounded fighting a creature out in the woods that border this place, but it appears they have a method of fixing even the most serious of injuries.

[ Two Wei Wuxians, two Lan Wangjis, a Lan junior from the future - yes, he can only imagine what Xichen has been trying to manage in this strange place, with that kind of task on his shoulders. A thought occurs to him, and his mouth twists in a grimace - ]

You haven't seen Huaisang in this place, have you?

[ He doubts it, feels confident that his sworn brother would have said that first, but perhaps in the chaos it could have slipped his mind. Hopefully not, but why have hope when he could have answers?

Things have been difficult. He would know even without Wei Wuxian's warning, if only for the way that Xichen fumbles his words, which were always so precisely chosen. He doesn't wait for the answer to his question, returning the sentiment. ]

I am grateful that if I must be in a place such as this, it is with you here to navigate it beside me.

[ A frown digs steeps grooves in his face. ]

But you've recovered? Wei Wuxian indicated that death is... a temporary matter, in this world, but still -

[ Despite his complicated feelings and the uncertainty of his current relationship with the man he had regarded almost as a younger brother of his own, he smiles slightly at the question. Mingjue's care for his brother has always been one of the things he respected him for - and one of their strongest commonalities. ]

No, I have not.

[ Though perhaps he should prepare for the inevitably of an appearance from the younger Nie brother, given how fond those who rule this place seem to be of collecting cultivators.

He feels warmth down to his very core when the sentiment is returned. It's ridiculous, as it's something that should hardly be a surprise, something he had once been confident in, and yet - his throat closes, and he can't bring hinself to say anything in response. The idea of trying to broach the subject of what he knows of Mingjue's fate, of his own role in it, looms so large that he can hardly see how he can even try. But the longer he does not, the more it feels as though he is enjoying Mingjue's trust under false pretenses. ]

You have spoken with one of them already. [ There's relief in his voice. Lan Xichen had already had time to process Wuxian's return before he arrived here, but he knows the same could not be true for Mingjue. Their interaction can't have gone too badly, if he allowed Wuxian to relay him information about this place. ] It is as though it never happened, save for a band of gold where the injury once was.

[ The relief is powerful, and shows on his face clearly, the lines of his mouth softening, the furrow of his brow. At least his brother hasn't been party to the dangers of this place. It doesn't guarantee that he won't find his way here, but -

Nie Mingjue had hidden his brother from the Sunshot Campaign, bundled him off to the Cloud Recesses, safe in Gusu far from the fighting. He wanted his brother to be capable of fighting, of defending himself, but he didn't want that so much he was willing to pretend his skill was greater than it was. Having him in this place would have been a nightmare. ]

Small mercies.

I've spoken with both of them, and your brothers as well. They've given me some insight into this place. [ He doesn't need to say that some things are best seen with the eyes. Xichen is here, and as whole as he can be. ] That we are not all of us from the same time or the same world, hard as it is to believe.

And that Meng Yao is here with us as well.

[ He's never been one to tiptoe around a subject. Little as he cares to discuss their sworn brother, it would be unnecessary and cruel to allow Xichen to believe him unaware, and fret over whether and when to bring it up. ]

If he had, I would have done my best to protect him.

[ Foolishly, perhaps, as it seems Huaisang had not needed his protection for a long time - and, possibly, would no longer want it if it was offered - but he would have done so anyway. For Mingjue's sake, even if Huaisang did not want it.

He nods, another small smile touching his expression. So he has met both pairs, then - he is reasonably sure one of them must have let slip what their relationship to each other now was. He will have to check in on that, he thinks -

And then Mingjue mentions Meng Yao, and that train of thought ends. Ah.

Somehow, he feels simultaneously relief that he doesn't have to figure out how to bring this up, and dread that now that it has been brought up, he must continue the conversation. ]

I am from a time far ahead of you both, although his seems to be the same world as mine aside from that. There are - [ He pauses, briefly, drawing in a breath to steel himself. ] There are things you need to know, things I need to tell you.

[ Of course Xichen would try to protect Huaisang - that this might need to be said had never once occurred to him, so confident was he in the nature of his friend. Hearing those words is like hearing that the sky is blue - the repetition of a fact so well-known it does not need to be questioned or verified.

But before he can go so far as to thank his friend regardless, he sees the look on Xichen's face, and though he had anticipated an argument over Meng Yao, he had not expected -

this.

That briefly drawn breath may as well have been a full-body flinch. He's certain that if he were facing Huaisang, he would be staring down at a fully extended fan, hiding his brother's face. ]

Then tell me. I will listen.

[ There may very well be an argument over Meng Yao, with what Xichen is still attempting to do. Still trying to change his future, even after everything, even knowing it won't change his own past.

But not before he tells Mingue what he knows. As much as he'd wanted to avoid talking about it with the Wangji and Wei Wuxian from another timeline, in case the details didn't match up, as much as he'd delayed telling Meng Yao - they all know, now, and he cannot keep something like this from his friend.

Even if it makes Mingjue think differently of him. ]

I was wrong. I tried to keep the balance between us, but I failed. [ There's a brief hesitation as his mind wants to shy away from stating things bluntly, wants to soften it with you are both gone or I lost you both. But it is not something that he can soften by choice of words, and where it had been easy to state his mistakes, it is wrong to frame what he must relate in terms of how it affected him. ] At the time I was brought here, you were both dead.

Which of us finished it?

[ He wishes it were a surprise that he was dead, in Xichen's time. He wishes it was a surprise that their oath, their sworn brotherhood, would become an albatross around his friend's neck, and a death sentence.

He is not. He has had time to regret his choice to swear brotherhood so quickly after Wen Ruohan's death, to bind himself and thus his sect so closely to Meng Yao - to Jin Guangyao, who cared so little for anything outside of himself. That it had ended tragically for another him, a him that Xichen clearly mourns -

well. Nie Mingjue rarely allowed himself to waste time with regrets, but it would seem this one was well placed. But he has always known he would die young. Knowing how it will - how it might - come would at least be something new. ]

I may not know how this unfolded in your time, Xichen, but in my own such an end seems almost an inevitability.

[ I did. The thought is so strong that he only barely manages to keep himself from saying it outloud - and only by saying nothing at all. There is no answer to that question that isn't complicated, and in the end, Xichen had been the one responsible for both of their deaths.

He'd thought he'd had plenty of time to let his grief become a part of him, a quiet ache that's ever present but no longer cuts so sharply - but Mingjue is here, alive and talking about the inevitability of his end, and all the work he'd done to move forward suddenly amounts to nothing. Perhaps it would be different, if he still believed it was the end that so many expected of a Nie Sect Leader, if he had not recently learned how truly terrible the circumstances were.

But perhaps not. It had always felt like a failure, to have been able to do nothing, even before he knew how much of one it had been. ]

It seemed similarly in mine. I refused to accept that, refused to do nothing and allow it to be inevitable - but instead I caused it. I began playing Cleansing for you, and I taught it to Jin Guangyao, so that he could play it for you when I could not.

[ There are no tears in his eyes, but his voice sounds hollow even to his own ears. He swallows, pulling in another breath. ]

Sect Leader Jin saw you as a threat to the power he wanted. And when he was asked to have that threat removed, Jin Guangyao chose his father over his sworn brothers. He twisted the music he played for you, and used it to make things worse instead of better.

[ It's the details that break his composure, and the way Xichen shares them, his voice hollow, his eyes distant. Nie Mingjue has staked his name on being uncompromising, a man unafraid to face whatever comes his way, but this revelation challenges that, shakes the calm bravado from his voice.

With Xichen's earlier words, he'd assumed that he had killed Jin Guangyao, or that Jin Guangyao had instead killed him, the enmity and suspicion between them finally erupting into genuine violence. It was something he understood - it was a death he could imagine, having always expected that he would die in violence, be it on a battlefield, in the midst of a night-hunt like his father, or from the backlash of his own faltering qi - but murder.

For all the enemies he had made in his life, Nie Mingjue had never imagined he would be murdered after the campaign. ]

When you say that he made things worse -

[ There's anger there, in the pit of his stomach, warring with the horror, but it isn't, it isn't for himself.

It isn't entirely for himself, anyway. ]

He killed me with the skills you taught him? He brought you into the midst of our feud?

[ Xichen cannot help but move closer, wanting to comfort, wanting - he doesn't know. He stops himself from doing anything, anyway. Who is he to try to comfort a man whose death he is responsible for?

But he doesn't step back, either. He would understand if Mingjue no longer found his presence reasurring, but he can't quite bring himself to move unless requested.

He doesn't know how to make his own fault in this abundantly clear without it sounding as though he is excusing Jin Guangyao's - he is not, there are many things he might excuse but this is not one - so he doesn't, for the moment. Instead he focuses on what he means by worse. ]

If we had suspected murder or other foul play, there is very little we would not have done to uncover what happened.

[ But a qi deviation? Oh, Xichen had wondered, of course, had tried to figure out why Cleansing had not worked. He'd even, in his darker moments, wished he had never asked Jin Guangyao to play for him, believed in his own hubris that if Xichen was the one playing, it would have worked.

But he had not suspected intention. ]

The techinques that we use are to heal, to calm and soothe, but - though we do not teach them, the opposite does exist. There are forbidden texts at Cloud Recesses, locked away in the library pavilion. Among them is the Collection of Turmoil, music that can be used to disturb the mind, even to kill. He found them, and wove bits of it into his music.

[ How can he explain that his outrage is not directed at Xichen, but at the person who had betrayed them both, the person he had thought would, at least, value Xichen more highly than he himself had been valued? For all his frustrations with Jin Guangyao - for all that his sworn brother strayed from the righteous path - he'd never thought outright murder would be their end. Words that strayed too far, a duel that ended in death - or the madness of rage - that was what he had imagined.

It was foolishness. Murder was the reason Meng Yao had lost his trust in the first place. How could he have grown so complacent as to not think he'd take that option again? ]

Of course.

So he chose to use the treatment we devised as his weapon instead, and played me to my death with a smile.

[ The horror again, coming as it always does, in waves. For all that Jin Guangyao angered him and tested his patience, Nie Mingjue liked him. His quick-witted comebacks, his way with people, the delicate precision he approached a task with - the hardest part of hating him was the fact of how much he liked him too. ]

He would have known I would never suspect you, or that he would treat you so cruelly.

[ He can't know exactly how Mingjue feels, of course, but he suspects right now he can come very close, because it felt it himself so recently. Despite everything, he knows Mingjue had cared for Meng Yao, and hearing the truth of just how deep his betrayal had become - the horror had washed over Xichen similarly, the more he re-thought everything he had believed he'd known. ]

And he knew that I would not ask the questions I should have, or take a true stand behind the support I claimed to offer.

[ Xichen knew, he knew enough of what manner of man that Jin Guangshan was to worry, he saw enough of the way that Jin Guangyao was treated to suspect it went deeper. But he had not pushed, he had let A-Yao brush him off with a brave smile, determined to bear what he had to for his father's affection. And he had rarely asked for details, never questioned motivation, even when he knew some of the things that Jin Guangyao had done. It was not his place, he told himself, to question how another Sect Leader ran things. He trusted Jin Guangyao to have good reasons.

He is asking now, of course, he's making no assumptions, but it is far too late for his own world.

The only thing that gives him hope is that perhaps it's not too late for Meng Yao's, or now for Nie Mingjue's. ]

You know, now. You can make sure if this was what was to happen in your timeline, it will not.

[ It would be cruel to speak of it now, how unrelenting Xichen's defense of Jin Guangyao was, how determined at all costs he had been to see the best in him, no matter what he did, no matter what he was told -

'It is quite difficult to determine who was at fault.'

- yes, it would be cruel to speak of it now. Perhaps, cruel to speak of it ever, given Xichen had so soundly learned his lesson. ]

I can and will.

[ His jaw works as he thinks, considering each word with care. ]

The Meng Yao here with us. He's from your world, not mine?

[ It would be true, and it would be no more than he deserved. It is no more than he has already told himself. His judgment is compromised, and he does not entirely trust himself - it's why he had entered seclusion, before he arrived here, and why he had asked Wangji to keep an eye on him here, though it is not a burden he ever wanted to have to place on his brother.

And he - he waits for it. He braces himself, for Mingue to ask why he had not listened, how he could have allowed it to go so far.

When it does not come, he blinks, caught off guard by the question he asks instead. ]

I believe so. The details of the events he remembers match mine exactly, and he looks like the Meng Yao I once knew. The Sunshot Campaign had barely begun, for him. He had only just left my side, after coming to my aid when Cloud Recesses burned.

[ He pauses, but only for a brief moment before he admits, ]

I have told him, too, what his fate will be if he does not change it.

So he hadn't yet completed his first murder, and you hope still that he can turn from his path.

[ It's distasteful to even consider the idea that Xichen is still trying to guide Meng Yao, still trying to convince himself that a man too busy lying to himself and others to mean even a sacred oath was worth helping -

but it must be true.

This may not be his Xichen, but it seems he can still read him, and read him well. Xichen would not seem so drained and resigned if he had washed his hands of the matter. ]

Can I safely assume he denied that he would do such things?

[ He closes his eyes for a moment when Mingjue says it outloud. That is exactly what he is trying to do, and it sounds ridiculous when put so plainly. None of them have said it outloud, yet - his brothers had understood implicitly what his plans were, and the Wangji from his world had agreed to keep an eye on him with nothing else needed to say on the matter.

Neither of the Wuxians asked him about it at all, though he knows they are far too clever not to realize that he is trying to change Meng Yao's future. ]

You must think me an even bigger fool than I was before.

[ He has no defense, and he doesn't offer one, instead shifting to answer the question. ]

He did not. He was horrified that he had gone so far, but he conceded that he understood the mindset that would have driven him to such desperate measures.

[ Xichen isn't quite sure if that's better or worse than denying it. More honest, perhaps, than he had ever really been before, but he is aware that even such honesty is not an easy thing to trust. ]

I killed him, Mingjue. When the truth of his actions came out and he was going to be brought to justice, I warned him that if he tried anything, I would show him no mercy. When my back was turned, I was alerted that he was making a move. I ran my sword through him.

[ He still doesn't know for sure, if Huaisang had actually seen him move, but in the end, it doesn't matter. In that split second, he had believed him, and he had chosen to end Jin Guangyao's life rather than risk himself or, more importantly, Huaisang. ]

Xichen.

[ Because endless self-flagellation will lead them nowhere and they have been friends far too long for him to fail to see the signs. Every Sect had attributes they could be known for -

truly, the endless will to punish ones' self was a characteristic the Lan bred true. ]

Did you think, when I swore to be his brother, I did not know what he was like? Even more than you, I knew exactly what he was, and still I swore, out of a fool's hope that he could change. I could insult you, and it would be both false and unhelpful.

I wouldn't and will not help Meng Yao. But you are not -

[ Me, he intends to say, but he falters, at this, the knowledge that Xichen had been the one to kill Meng Yao, to end his life and whatever and other threat he still posed. It isn't as though he didn't know his friend was a killer - they all were, after the Sunshot Campaign, after those years of war and killing and endless death that had won them both their titles - Chifeng-zun for bloodletting, Zewu-jun for rescue. Both of them titles won from the spreading of death. ]

Do you regret killing him?

[ It is only that even now he's stunned to realize Xichen would raise a blade to his A-Yao. ]

Edited 2020-09-05 06:53 (UTC)

[ It is somewhat comforting to realize that even as it seems Mingjue can still read him, so too can he read Mingjue, despite their different timelines. He only has to say his name for Xichen to realize that he is, once again, punishing himself, and Mingjue has noticed.

Xichen has missed him so much. He does not deserve him. ]

Did either of us truly know him? We saw different sides to him, but I don't know if he ever allowed anyone to see him as he truly was.

[ He is not surprised that Mingjue didn't expect that. Xichen has killed without hesitation before, of course, Mingjue knows that better than many - particularly those who weren't around for the Sunshot Campaign. But Jin Guangyao? Even Xichen had been shocked at himself. Still is, when he looks at the Meng Yao here, and the idea of harming him feels impossible.

Does he regret it? It's a question he's been asking himself since it happened - though he'd stopped after coming here, after finding things to focus on to distract himself. He misses him, he misses the friendship he thought he had, misses all the good moments throughout the years. But he had lost those before Jin Guangyao's death, and even the memories are tainted.

And yet he still cares. He doesn't have an answer. ]

I don't know. I regret my mistakes, his choices, his death. But under the same circumstances, I would make the same choice.

Maybe he didn't, and maybe we didn't, but I knew that he was a murderer, so if you're going to count yourself a fool for not suspecting it, you'll have to count me twice the fool for straying close anyway.

[ He doesn't think Xichen will be willing to let the conversation go there, but if he is - then they will speak on that, and the choices that were made, the decisions each of them had considered and committed themselves too, in at least so much as what they could each remember.

But he doesn't think it will happen. ]

You might be able to change him, here. I wouldn't count on it, but you might just manage it, if you remember that knowing him may be an impossibility.

[ Meng Yao will never hold his life in his hands again, if he can help it. But he knows that isn't the case for his friend, and that's what worries him. ]

If you'd make the same choice, and he knows what that choice is - at least you might be approaching each other on the same level.

You shouldn't. But I think you know that, and it hasn't stopped you, so at least keep it in your mind that he's dangerous.

I suspected it. It's only that I believed it to be in the same way that you and I had killed. [ But no, he will not stand for Mingjue being called a fool, even if it is by Mingjue himself. Even if it is for the very same thing that Xichen had claimed himself to be a fool for. ] You were not a fool. You have a good heart, Mingjue. It may not be as transparently soft as mine, but there is still softness in there.

[ Under different circumstances, that would have been teasing. And there is still the ghost of smile there, but mostly it is quiet, genuine. He tilts his head in a short nod, acknowledging the the sentiment. Fine, fine, perhaps fool is the wrong word. If he must apply it to Mingjue to apply it to himself, he will do neither.

He is still unsure how any of them can have any faith in his judgment, any trust in his opinion, but that is a conversation for another time.

And he listens, as he always has, to what Mingjue thinks, to his perspective of Meng Yao. Only this time - he offers no gentle rebukes, no quiet counters that their sworn brother is not dangerous.

Meng Yao has always been dangerous. He knows that exceedingly well, now, as he knows that the smart thing to do would be to walk away.

But he cannot. He knows, now, what it feels like to lose a limb - and were he feeling particularly poetic, he would liken it to what he felt at the loss of first Mingjue, and then A-Yao. ]

He will always do what he believes is necessary. What he thinks he must, to survive. I only want to give him more options than he thought he had before. [ His expression turns thoughtful, contemplative. ] There are no whispers he must endure here, no father he must always think of impressing. Perhaps - perhaps we may all see what we may be, when we are so far from the politics of our Sects.

That's what he wanted you to think, and what I didn't do a good job of refuting. He's good with words and you're hardly one to leap to conclusions. [ Not like him. He knows his own weaknesses and he knows them well - he's had most of his life with a little brother all too happy to lament on those very weaknesses the second he thought it might get him out of a day's saber training. He was stubborn and held to his judgement once it was made, implacable and with a tendency towards the unyielding. That was why he so often yielded to the advice of his close peers, and why he had sworn that ill-fated oath in the first place. It was frustrating, to face Xichen's implacable faith in Jin Guangyao, but he would take that over this inward-pointed disdain, the mistrust Xichen directed at himself like a knife. ] There is. There was and is. Meng Yao was my friend, and it does grieve me to think our relationship is so far gone that he would kill me, and betray both of our trusts in his manner. A stab to the back as he dealt the head of the Wen-dogs would have been preferable to this.

[ Death by qi deviation.

He had known it was coming for most of his life, from the moment his connection with Baxia had cultivated enough for her to form a proper saber spirit, a proper and true hunger for the blood of evil beings. He had watched his father die by degrees, the wound and infection doing only as much damage as his deteriorating qi, his maddened swings between paranoid rage and debilitating guilt. He had known it would be his fate, if battle itself didn't kill him outright.

To know the curse of his blood had indeed befallen him, but because of treachery? Because of misplaced trust and his own desire to stall his death and by Huaisang more time to be ready?

It's only that Xichen already blames himself so deeply that keeps Mingjue from giving voice to the true depths of his anger and hurt. ]

You can give him more options, Xichen. But he will only do what he thinks best benefits him. It wasn't for survival that he slew his captain at Langya.

[ He won't stop Xichen, but he won't help either. Meng Yao always said he had no choice, just as he chose the path that benefited him alone and damned all others. ]

Perhaps. I can only hope we find a way home before too long. Your Sect has Lan Qiren to guide them. My Nie Sect has...

[ He loves his brother, more than anything else in this life. But his brother is not what anyone in any world would say 'strong under pressure'. Being abruptly left to run their Sect, without answers as to Mingjue's own disappearance? It would be the definition of pressure. ]

[ There is no manner of Mingjue's death that he wants to think of as preferable, but he also cannot entirely disagree. Given the level of contention between his two closest friends, the affection and trust turned bitter and poisoned - he cannot say he would have been truly shocked, to learn that an encounter between them had ended with one of them dead. It is, then, the manner of that death that cuts so deeply.

Mingjue may not go fully into that depth, but Xichen doesn't need him to in order to know that there's more there that he doesn't give voice to. His heart aches, that this is a potential future that his friend has to face, that he must come to terms with a betrayal such as this and actively seek to stop it from happening.

His brows furrow briefly at the mention of Meng Yao killing a captain in Langya. ]

I'm uncertain if that was one of his crimes in my world.

[ Not that it particularly matters, he supposes, but it does mean he makes no attempt to clarify that he suspects survival means something very different to someone who grew up as Meng Yao did than it does to either of them. He has no desire to make excuses, just as he would never ask Mingjue to help him in this.

The fact that Mingjue is not only not going to stop him, but seems to be willing to continue to associate with Xichen himself is, quite honestly, more than he had allowed himself to hope for. ]

Huaisang is clever, and capable. If your world is as mine was, he will not be alone. I would support him however I could.

[ He did support him - or he thought he had. He's unsure, now, how much advice and support Huaisang truly needed from him, and how much was to keep up the appearance he wanted no one to see through. More things he had not had time to process before his seclusion was cut short, but they can wait until later.

Xichen thinks about leaving it there, about not returning to the subject of just how this is effecting Mingjue, but - there are too many things that he just let go, that he did not bring back up when he should have. ]

You have a right to your anger, and your grief. If I promise not to add your words onto my guilt, will you share it with me?

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. TIME TO PARTY

II. ATTRIBUTABLE TO HUMAN ERROR

III. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

IV. WELCOME HOME

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