funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ooc; will match replies.]

II - bargains?
It was one thing to offer items to the average person or the random tourist out in the great world for the first time. The one group wasn't looking for anything special but something would catch their eyes and a good merchant knew how to sell it. The other group was easy to fool; just look at the amount of common urinals that he'd sold to overly haughty travelers who thought they were fooling him. So when Wu Xie stumbles into this, a little bit of the tension in his shoulders relaxed.

Not all of it, no. He was still in a place far from home without any signs of Fatty or Xiao-ge. His Notebook was still with him, but the weapons he had packed - as well as the drugs needed for his lungs - were gone. It made him uncomfortable and wary and this market doubly so.

Passing each booth and humming at the wares displayed he finally stops at one and raises an eyebrow as the merchant talked about the wonders of his wares. Wu Xie does not dismiss the claims to magic - he has seen far too much to pretend it does not exist - it was just the items said magic was placed on that had him snorting.

"Look at that," he said, nudging the person next to him while pointing with his chin at the object in question. "Shameless. Passing off a reproduction of a reproduction of a Ten Kingdoms' bell. Tsk, it's not even proper bronze! Has he no face?"

III - Hidden Message
It might have been years since he truly was in the field, but Wu Xie never lost some of the awareness gained from it. Especially now when he can't find Xiao-ge or Fatty and there was a crawling sensation that this paradise was too perfect.

(His cough was gone. The tightness in his chest, the whispered words from the doctor, they weren't fake memories. He knows it, so why doesn't it feel right?)

While he was studying the layout, and making idle chatter over the construction of the building - I have a degree in this even though I'm rusty he'd say to anyone that takes an interest in his interest - he notices the imperfection in the wall. He doesn't start, or even look at it long, instead moving on to his next target before drifting back to lean against the wall under it and fumbled with a pack of cigarette-shaped candies. Putting one in his mouth, he mimes striking a match before chuckling tiredly, glancing around.

"I know, I know, but it's comforting," he casually explains as he stretches. As he stretches, he taps the foot of another Oyster and mumbles around the fake smoke. "Anyone watching?"

Wildcard
[ooc; what it says on the tin! Wu Xie is from the time skip in the series so he's a tired old semi-recluse of a antiques dealer who may or may not have once had a lot of adventures.]

Wei Wuxian has been eyeballing the strong imperfection for quite some time. He knows it isn't supposed to be there. He has passed by these walls hundreds of times since arriving at the hotel, so he knows what doesn't belong. He would have noticed it long before now if it had always been there. So when he sidles over to get closer to it, he notices that he isn't quite alone in his curiosity over the piece.

He glances around quickly before looking at the other man, "Not at the moment. Right now the coast is clear." He glances up at the piece. "You want to know why that is there as well, don't you?" He has never seen this one in the hotel before but that doesn't mean much. Faces come and go quite often around here.

Wu Xie chews on his bit of candy, glancing up - too high for him to jump and he was no Kylin with his impossibly strong fingers that can punch through iron. It would take them a little time and a lot of luck to get it out, especially if the staff saw them messing around way too much.

The idea of getting caught scared him, but he couldn't deny the urge to figure out what it was and how it can help. Maybe a fellow kidnapped person figured out how to escape and left a clue. Or maybe it was something a bit more relevant like a map to where his shoes were (he wiggles his toes in thought).

"I can climb up there and pry it loose with help," he replies finishing the candy and shaking another one free of the pack. "I'm lighter than you and used to climbing stone."

Wei Wuxian gapes at him, taking offense at the thought that he might be heavy. Of course that's not really what the man said, but it is what he focused on. Most of the weight could be in that long ponytail of his. He puffs up his chest a little and feels a small need to show off what he can do but resists for at least a few more moments. "You're judging what I can and can't do..by what? Mere appearances?" Wei Wuxian is slightly shorter then this man so how is it that he is somehow heavier? He looks down at himself, wondering if maybe all this time in the hotel is making him look fat.

He has a secret weapon in his arsenal of skills now. Thanks to the hotel, he can change into anything he wants to. He looks up at the little slip of green. If he turns into a lizard he could climb but wouldn't be able to grip the thing to pull it out. A bird could fly but again..gripping won't happen with just his feet. He could just use the wings but how obvious would that be? He looks back down at Wu Xie, still expecting an answer as to why he is the one that would have to hold up the other man.

"Maybe it's the clothing," is the reply, even as he offers some candy to show he didn't mean any offense. Wu Xie knew he was thinner than he should be - a loss of appetite he had shrugged off as a general lack of interest in anything - but he didn't think he was being that offensive. The robes did look rather thicker than what he was use to seeing outside of a traditional setting so maybe he was misjudging again.

"Do you have a better method to get up there?"

He is going to be straightening those robes now, wondering if he left his belt a little loose this morning. He takes the candy and looks at it, accepting it as an appropriate apology. But at the question a smirk rises to his lips, "I have obtained certain skills that could be useful. Unfortunately they also might draw a lot of attention."

He snaps his fingers as he finally figures out an animal that can climb that still has hands. "I'll change into a monkey and scale the wall to the piece."

But again..quite obvious that an animal that shouldn't be in a hotel is going to be in the hotel. As long as he was quiet perhaps no one would notice.

"Really? This place does that?"

That is almost as unsettling as waking up without his cough. Wu Xie wasn't sure if he liked the idea of people gaining abilities after staying here for a time; it was almost like they were being rewarded for being prisoners. But the idea of a monkey might work. It was better than trying to fish it out. Any hook he could make might destroy what they were trying to get.

"If you want something small and still able to manipulate objects... a pygmy marmoset or Little Lion. They barely get bigger than the size of my hand."

"They stripe our abilities away and then give them back in the form of teas. Except...you have no idea whose power you might be getting. I've only managed to get one of my own back since being here." Which really is better then most people he knows. In a way he has been lucky.

"Okay, I can see what I can do about making myself into a smaller monkey." His one concern is the fact that he has been getting better about his clothing changing with him..but it's not always a guarentee that he will have them when he comes back to normal. He's just going to have to hope he doesn't end up naked around a stranger.

"You keep watch. If anyone notices or starts getting close..distract them long enough for me to find a place to change back."

"Teas, huh?"

Like that wasn't suspicious in of itself. Wu Xie glances around again and takes out a much battered book, the symbol of his family craved into the leather cover. He toys with one of the bindings and nods.

"I'll do that. You be careful. I'll pretending I'm reading."

Because that wouldn't be suspicious, someone leaning against a wall reading his book while munching through a pack of candies, right?

He nods and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and within seconds seems to disappear from next to Wu Xie, when in reality he is just much much smaller. The now tiny monkey actually makes a soft sound of victory when he doesn't leave a pile of clothing behind.

Moving to the wall, he starts to climb up it very carefully as if testing his grip on it and making sure he can handle it in this new form. When he gets about as high as Wu Xie's head, he speaks softly, "I might not be able to carry it back down..if so, get ready to catch it."

And then resumes his ascent.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

Wu Xie | The Graverobber's Chronicles |ota

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