funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 003

TEST DRIVE MEME 003

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

Those of you hoping to make use of The Pool of Tears today are in for a disappointment — it appears to have been shut down for the day to make room for a special event! Dozens of small vehicles that resemble pink flamingos are parked along the grounds by the pool, and others are being flown above it with varying levels of skill.

People wearing name tags identifying them as guest instructors mingle around the parked vehicles to offer lessons on how to fly the flamingos. They'll also allow the flamingos to be checked out to be used for recreation, regardless of whether the person checking them out has had flying lessons or not.

Why is this taking place in the pool area and not outdoors, you may ask? Why, because a crash landing in water is so much softer on the bones than on solid land, of course.

Or perhaps you were hoping to spend some time at the Caucus-Race, making use of the hotel's private gym. It seems that, too, had been taken over for an event — dance lessons! There are more guest instructors there to lead dances of all kinds, from groups to couples to private instruction. Even if you didn't intend to partake of them when you came here, you may find yourself bustled away and facing your partner for the lesson before you know it.

Still another handful of guest instructors have set up in the Mad Tea-Party, offering a variety of art lessons — from paintings to drawing to pottery to glassblowing! Have a glass of wine, or something stronger, and try your hand at one! Anyone who chooses to do so will get to keep whatever masterpiece they produce.

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

The guest instructors aren't the only ones visiting the hotel today. It seems some traveling merchants have come to pitch their wares, and they've set up shop in the hotel lobby. There's display cases of delicately crafted jewelry, all manner of glassware, bolts of fabric, boxes of precious stones and crystal.

Why come to them when you can get what you need for free from the hotel's boutique? There's just no comparison when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship, of course, or the quality of their raw materials. But should you need a reason beyond that — there's something a little magical about their wares. This necklace is spelled to ward off evil, that circuit will grant clear thought, anything made from this bolt of cloth will always keep the wearer perfectly warm or cool, carrying that crystal will give a boost of healing or luck.

They deal only in trade. Teas, if you have them, will fetch the highest price and get you the most unique items. If you don't happen to have a tea, you're not out of luck — they will also accept favors. Perhaps they will ask you to convince someone else to make a purchase as well, perhaps they will send you on a hunt for a specific item. Perhaps they will ask you for something more intangible, like the shape of a smile or the salt of tears. Not your own, of course, you must inspire them in someone else. Hopefully there's someone nearby who can help you with that.

III. SECRET MESSAGES

By your second or third pass around the hotel, after all the visitors have left, you may notice something that looks a little out of place. A loose rock in the otherwise solid structures of the pool area, a shimmer of green tucked in among all the white abstract sculptures in a hallway, an odd knot in the wood of a bench or chair somewhere in the hotel.

No members of the staff seem to have noticed it so far, but for that to remain the case you'll have to work quickly — and work together. Maybe the rock is up too high for one person to reach, maybe the sculptures are too heavy for one person to move, maybe someone needs to stand guard or distract the hotel staff while the other pries out the wood knot.

All those who succeed in retrieving the piece of heavy green paper hidden away will find the same message: a drawing of a caterpillar, accompanied by a series of numbers and the words call a friend.

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Anyone who participates in the second prompt will receive an item with a minor enchantment of their choosing! For players apping in this round, you can include it in your list of items. Current players can reply to the second comment on this page to receive approval of their enchanted item. Please direct any questions to the first comment on this page, and happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's another day at the hotel, back to almost the same monotony, except now there are pink flamingo taking up around the pool. Seeing Wei Ying dragging furniture over to a vague spot, stacking them up on top of each other, and standing dangerously on top of it, he figured Wei Ying is reaching for something.

Approaching him, making his presence known, and standing close to him, he reaches for him and placed his hands on hips to keep him steady and to make sure he is safe.

"Wei Ying? What are you doing? This is dangerous."

He knows he ought to be more careful, but he'd thought he was avoiding the greater risk of those flying machines, and was instead just exploring the same open areas they'd always had access to. It seemed the less likely activity that would cause him to break any rules, at least.

"Oh, Lan Zhan!" he grins, "there's something up there, do you see it?"

He points to the bit of paper, that seems so deliberately placed. How else would it get there, anyway?

"This is perfect, can you help me reach it? Maybe if I stood on your shoulders..."

Edited 2020-07-29 23:33 (UTC)

Lan Wangji tries to keep him steady and balanced as he stands on the stack of furniture.

"You found something up there? Is that why you're searching for it?" He takes his word for it, as it could be something important.

Still, at his request. "I can lift you up." He just needs to stand on the stack of furniture himself, finding his own balance, and then without much effort, he holds him up with a lift using his strong arms, so that Wei Ying can reach to fetch that paper.

Lan Zhan's steadying hands help stabilize him, and he only wobbles a little when he joins him on top of the poolside furniture.

"Mm, well, it just- I guess it looks deliberate, you know? How else would it get there?"

That, and Wei Wuxian is getting desperate for any answers these days. It seems like they're only stumbling down a more and more confusing spiral. What few answers they'd gotten only led to more questions, and he still didn't know for certain which side March was on. Probably his own entirely, if he had to guess.

He doesn't mean for Lan Zhan to end up picking him up every time they meet, but at least this time, it's intentional, and more of an acrobatic act than anything else. Even so, Lan Zhan wasn't kidding about his ridiculous strength. Wei Wuxian tries to be quick about it, fingers just brushing the paper a couple times before he's finally able to pluck it from its hiding spot.

"Got it!"

The green paper was carefully tucked in knotted wood and needs to be pried out. Clearly, whoever placed the paper there, it was meant to be found, but in a tricky hiding place. Lan Wangji has good balance too. It's a matter of balance Wei Ying in his arms and then minding his feet on the piled-up furniture.

"You got it? That's good." It was easy for them, having used to maneuver their strength and balance from all of that training.

Just as gently, Lan Wangji slowly settles his foot down on the floor, carrying Wei Ying in his arms in tow as if he doesn't weight as much to him and then settled him down on the floor.

Eying the paper he got with curiosity. "What is it that you found Wei Ying? It looks like paper."

Once they were back on solid ground, he unfolded the green paper, standing companionably close enough that Lan Zhan could easily see over his shoulder. It's a drawing, just a caterpillar, one of those crawlies with too many legs.

He almost starts to read it aloud, but certainly, there's things listening everywhere, aren't there? He glances up at Lan Zhan to make sure he's seen the series of numbers and the message, call a friend, before folding it back up and pocketing it. He'd promised to at least try to be more careful, and even though his curiosity is bubbling up to find out more, rather than discuss their findings, he takes Lan Zhan's hand and scrawls the characters to ask, somewhere safe to talk?

Lan Zhan peers over his shoulder curiosity to see what he found. All he sees is a green paper with a caterpillar drawn on it and a series of numbers stringed together. Reading the simple words, Call a friend.

"Hm? Mn." He takes Wei Ying's hand, fingers lacing as he nods wordlessly, and follows after him as Wei Ying takes the leads to find a safer place to talk of their findings.

The last time he'd tried to exchange vital information, at least, outside of any prying eyes or ears, it'd been between the heavy bass of the gym's dance floor, lips close as they'd whispered secrets. He might not need that same level of privacy, but he also didn't want to discuss anything in easy sight of the staff, even if most were occupied in working with those flying machines.

Still, the idea was the same. It would be hard to overhear them where there was already noise, and it was less likely that they'd be specific targets of eavesdropping if they were in places that were already heavily populated. He pulls Lan Zhan along, making for the dining area. No matter the time of day, it seems like there's always plenty of people, and a low buzz of chatter. Two people leaning in close to talk wouldn't be out of place here.

"Are you hungry, Lan Zhan?" he asks, leading the way there either way, and keeping up a steady stream of inane conversation, talking about what soups they might have, or whether they'd have enough chili oil for him to add when things were much too flavorless.

"Why don't we get a table?"

Lan Zhan takes cue, figuring out what Wei Ying is up to, so he follows after him dutifully through the areas of the lobby and through the dining area. His perfectly jade-like face and light-colored eyes sparked with curiosity as he hangs on, fingers lacing with his.

"Yes, I am hungry. I would like something to eat." He managed to smile, realizing this is also an opportunity to spend time and have lunch with him.

Looking around, searching the dining area for a table, there's an empty one near the window. "I would like to eat chicken caesar salad and cheesecake if they have any."

Not the soups he has in mind, as Lan Zhan learns to have quite an appetite, having previously dined in before.

Some things obviously don't change between their worlds, because holding Lan Zhan's hand as they walk feels like the most natural thing, sharing a meal together, just as easy.

"Good, yes! Bring your appetite," he says reassuringly, glad that much of their communication is clear without words.

"Cheesecake? Mm, we can certainly check," he says amiably, making mental note that Lan Zhan might have found a sweet tooth in the desserts offered here. He's had plenty of fun of his own, trying out the otherworldly dishes and styles of cuisine.

He hands Lan Zhan a tray as they enter, only untangling their fingers long enough to serve himself up with a few spicy dishes, and carries a fresh shaker of chili flakes with him back to the table. There's plenty of light, and it seems in a lively enough area that their conversation is unlikely to be overheard, especially if they keep their voices low. And it hardly seems out of the ordinary for them to have a private conversation, sit close, or smile and laugh together. He's not the sort for covert operations, but he feels like he can manage this level of stealth, at least.

As soon as he's seated, he scoots his chair close to Lan Zhan's, so they're sitting almost elbow to elbow, knees brushing.

He held onto his hand, perhaps he realized he's not holding enough, but they're both engaged now, so he wondered if this is even appropriate. Yet, he felt safe doing so. His hand is always warm to hold.

"Cheesecake. It doesn't exist back home. I learned the recipe. I learn to bake a lot of things during my time here." With plenty of time to pass, Lan Zhan was hopelessly bored.

Sitting with him by the table, their bodies close, and when the food appears, he eats quietly without complaint of how hot the dishes were and how spicy it is to him. He drinks his water quickly though.

He only sniffed in response, eyes, and nose watery from the hot dishes, his pale jade face a bit red as he tries to tolerate the heat of the dishes.

"I didn't know you liked sweets so much Lan Zhan," he smiles.

Once seated, with plenty of food in front of them, he's almost distracted himself, the spicy scents enough to make his mouth water, but he only takes a few bites before leaning in close, as if teasing or making a joke between them.

"Lan Zhan, I think... either those numbers are a code, or... or more likely, they work on the Empathy devices," he swallowed, eyes flicking over Lan Wangji's face for a moment.

"But... we don't know the consequences, if it's really a friend, right? And I told Lan Zhan I'd be more careful, so..." he trails off. He'd become to accustomed to leaping before he looked, heedless of the consequences, so this as close to being careful as he got.

"It's an acquired taste. I learned I like sweets while you like spice." That makes them opposites. "And there's different types of sugar that goes into the baked pastries and I can make different sweets, but I had made cakes, brownies, cookies, just to name a few." To pass the time on a slow afternoon.

Lan Wangji leans in closer to listen as he whispers. "They do? Why don't you try calling the number and see what you get?"

In the meanwhile, he's going to help himself to the noodles and try to tolerate the spice and he makes a face. "Bleh. Too spicy." It's too spicy for him, so he asked the waiter to take it away and give him a milder version of the same dish.

Lan Zhan doesn't like spice? It's true that the Lan sect is prone to bland and mostly vegetarian meals, embracing some of the more bitter and tasteless flavors, but any time he'd eaten with Lan Zhan, he'd always ordered at least a few spicy dishes. It's enough to give him pause, and he makes mental note to search his memories, if only to figure out just whether or not Lan Zhan was ordering them for himself, or if he'd really been so subtle and sly as to just know what dishes Wei Wuxian liked best.

"Lan Zhan bakes too?" even if he wants to focus on their private conversation, it's hard not to let himself get distracted. And incredibly curious about what Lan Wangji's cooking and baking would taste like.

As for the number... "You think so too, right?"

He had said he'd try to check with Lan Zhan more often, before doing anything risky, and technically that was exactly what he was doing now. So if Lan Zhan was advocating for the same, then surely it would be fine.

"Here goes."

He punches in the number, double-checking it from the note, then holds the phone between them, so they can both listen in as it begins to ring.

Lan Wangji lived here for a few months, so he's learning to get used to the food being served in Wonderland. The food was good in comparison to what he usually eats and cooks back home in Cloud Recesses, but the pastries and baking was a new type of food he's learning about.

"Mn. I learned to bake. It was fun."

With a nod, he wanted him to try and he encourages him. When Wei Ying holds up the phone, there's a tone, then a soft scratching sound, and then a voice with a recorded message on the answering machine that said the following, "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?"

Followed by a beep, and then when either one of them try to ask a question, the call disconnected.

It's... disappointing. At least they've left messages, or, well, he assumes that's how it works anyway. There was a voice on the other end, but it was one of those pre-recorded things, like leaving a note if you'll be out. Some friend if they weren't even picking up their calls.

"Sorry for the waste of time, Lan Zhan," he makes a face as he puts the Empathy away and lets out a slow sigh, poking at the remains of his meal.

Seeing his reaction, Lan Zhan thought about it and what this could all mean.

Shaking his head once, "Wei Ying, what for? It could be a riddle? A clue to who these people are? I read some of their poems in the library. It's strange but fascinating. As for friends, I wonder why they left in places for us to find."

Lan Zhan eats the rest of meal until it's all gone. It's dessert next, in which he lights up and cheerfully poke at his cheesecake.

He could always try back later, he supposes, see if he can catch them when they're near their Empathy device so they remember to pick it up. But maybe Lan Zhan was right, maybe it was some sort of odd bit of Wonderland literature.

"You think it's talking about one of their poems?" he hummed, "it did seem kind of weird. Like a coded message maybe?"

He's careful to end any suspicious conversation as the wait staff clears their plates to bring out dessert, and remembers they're playing the part of a couple... close friends? Is that what they were? Well, whatever it meant to be comfortable enough around one another to share casual touches and meal plates.

"Ooh, can I try a bite?" he grins, "I want to know what Lan Zhan's favorite tastes like."

"It could be a Wonderland poem. But I'm not familiar with it. Perhaps it could be a message." But he isn't certain.

Since the Wonderlander's have their own semantics and language, a style foreign to him since he is used to the ancient romances and poems written in the style back home.

Silently, he let the conversation trail off. The plates were taken away, dessert served. Are they playing a couple? Hard to believe since Lan Zhan locked up his feelings. But the casual touches and warmth of words is their bond.

"Mn." With a fork, he cuts a small bite-size piece and very slowly raise it toward to him as an offer. "It's sweet."

"Mm, worth asking around, I suppose," he admits, and makes mental note to do just that. Seems like just the sort of nonsense he's come to expect of this place.

It's hardly even something he thinks about, as Lan Zhan offers him the end of his fork, and he leans in to try it. The taste is creamy and sweet and unlike anything he's tasted. The texture something between a jelly and a sweet rice paste.

"Really sweet," he agrees, before perking up a bit, "oh, actually! I have been meaning to ask, but... it's kind of dangerous, I think, to talk over those Empathy devices. So, since I have you here, have you heard of someone called March?"

With the sweet taste, it's no wonder that Lan Zhan eventually took a liking to the sweet. With a fork, he cuts up the slice in bite-size pieces and feeds him bite by bite.

At his question, he fell silent. Then he nods, his expression looks tense and somber. "I have met him." He doesn't want to remember the encounter, but it burns in his mind.

"Why? What do you wish to know?"

He doesn't get more than a few bites down before he puts his hands up and shakes his head, "it's so sweet, Lan Zhan. I yield! I'll leave you the rest."

Taking a long drink from his water glass to help cut some of the sweetness, he tries to recall all the important points he'd come across with the man, since he'd first seen him.

"What do you think of him? Did he seem nice? Helpful? Or did he threaten you?"

"Mn. All right." There's only half of the slice anyway, so he will eat the rest, using another fork as he is done feeding him.

Quietly, almost a near murmur. "I met him. He threatens me over Wei Ying. To me, that means the both of you. He said this place will take you away from me if I don't learn how to keep you well-behaved. Which I don't know how because you are you."

It was almost the same experience his own Lan Zhan had described. Why then, had Wei Wuxian seen such a different side of March? It didn't make sense. Was he hoping to cancel out their efforts? If Wei Wuxian was dedicated to breaking the rules and Lan Wangji to stopping that, it wouldn't be a very effective team against their precious queen, he supposed, but...

"And what would Lan Zhan have me do?" he sighs, looking a little guilty.

Lan Zhan didn't answer at first. "..." He eats the rest of his cake slowly, plate empty, and searching for the answer from within.

"I don't know. Do you love Lan Zhan enough not to get into trouble?" He inwardly cringes, repeating the Mad March words in that New Jersey robotic voice that gives him the creeps, because even a great part of his insecurity have doubts and worries hidden in his heart in his relationship. "They want cooperation and that means not fighting or resisting."

Taking a deep breath, "Follow your heart, Wei Ying. Always trust your instincts to know what is right or wrong. I will always follow Wei Ying even if the path is dark."

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. SHALL WE DANCE, SHALL WE FLY

II. WE TRADE IN FAVORS

III. SECRET MESSAGES

IV. WELCOME HOME

III.

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/didn't get notif for this one

oh i hate when that happens :(

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