funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

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[ Lan Wangji gentles his playing and there's a slightly confused look on his face. He peers up with black eyes, and explains: ]

I am calling spirits.

[ With a sealed Golden Core? Guess who he got that idea from?

The only problem that he sees here, is that Mo Xuanyu isn't supposed to be dead. No, his body and soul were supposed to be erased from existence, supplanted by the body and soul of possibly the only person to have called him Lan Zhan to his face in the last two decades. ]

Come closer.

Sorry to disappoint..there doesn't seem to be any here.

[But..Lan Wangji should already know that. Or at least he is pretty sure they've had enough time to work that out. Something is..odd. Maybe another hotel trick? Has he had to deal with some forgetful potion? That could be troublesome.

He isn't that surprised by the request to come closer and he leans playfully over the other man. But then he pauses as he looks at him. There is just something slightly different here that he can't quite put his finger on.]

Are you feeling okay?

[ No spirits? Lan Wangji knits his brows together as Wei Ying draws nearer, and without getting up from his position sitting on the floor, he reaches into the slit in Wei Ying's top, grabbing for something. His eyes go just a bit wider as he produces Chenqing, not fully removing it from its spot but kind of awkwardly... grasping a warm flute sticking out of his shirt. ]

Wei Ying?

[ He quickly stuffs it back in and then packs up his guqin, which is somehow elegant despite the fact that he can't just make it glow blue and stuff itself back in his bag. ]

What is the meaning of this?

Hey..HEY! Lan Zhan..what..??

{He grabs at those hands as they start rummaging until they find what they are looking for and he steps back so he can fix himself]

I'm supposed to be the crazy one, Lan Zhan!

[What is up with him? He had been studying the other's face until he was suddenly manhandled. It certainly looks like him. If this is some memory game, he isn't sure he likes it.]

Did you eat something you shouldn't have?

Wei Ying--.

[ Lan Wangji has a face on that is the face he pulls whenever he fights himself on whether or not to just completely ignore everything that Wei Ying is saying because he's silly.

Except, Lan Wangji is currently feeling like the silly one, for once. ]

Mirror. Now.

[ He slings his guqin over his back and starts to move in order to find one. ]

What did I do?

[He's pouting now. What has he done wrong to have his name said in that tone?]

There is probably one in the lobby..Why do you need a mirror?

[He has lost it..]

To show you.

[ The problem. The problem being that Wei Ying is not wearing Wei Ying's face and is also too short. Does Wei Ying not see this problem? Does he not realize how much further he has to look upwards right now?

Lan Wangji walks briskly, his robes fluttering behind him as he finds a restroom on the way to the lobby and takes Wei Ying by the arm.

He has no idea what these symbols mean, but there's one wearing clothes so he thinks they should go into that one. Why would they want to go into the one with the naked person? Must be for bathing. ]

[Different clothes but that isn't really surprising given they are in a different place so changing things up is fairly normal. Something in the ace might have changed...Wei Wuxian is trying to figure out as many differences he can figure out as possible as he follows the other man.]

Show me what?? Do I have something on my face?

[Wei Wuxian has learned these symbols and he latches onto Lan Wangji's arm.]

Not that one Lan Zhan! [He points to the triangle.] dress means ladies. Pants means mens. [something is so wrong right now..]

[ That makes no sense, how is a dress for women and pants for men, when he is wearing both pants and a skirt over his pants, and a coat over his skirt and pants? But fine, he'll follow into the mens' room. If he sees naked people, he is leaving!!

Thankfully, there are mirrors immediately present, and no naked people.

He points out Wei Ying's reflection. ]

Do you see?

[He looks into the mirror, looks back at Lan Wangji, and then back at the mirror. He walks up and puts his face really close to the mirror, studying the face that is different from the one he was born with but is the face he has grown accustomed to since then. Mo Xuanyu is a good looking man after all.

He steps back with a grin and reaches up to tighten his pony tail and smooth out his bangs.]

I see the same face I've seen since being put in this body. Are you suddenly hating my Mo Xuanyu face? That's cruel Hanguang-Jun...I'm very good looking and you're hurting my feelings.

[He pouts his lips and looks over at the other man.]

Your Mo Xuanyu--

[ He looks at Wei Ying agog, or at least, the most agog that Lan Wangji's face is capable of, which is only slightly less than most people.

He is quite scandalized by this. What does Wei Ying mean? He searches his face, looking for an answer, seeming to not find one because Wei Ying always seems to have that slightly smiling expression and the big eyes and okay, focus, not very helpful. ]

Don't you remember when you woke up, you wore a mask to hide your identity? Jin Guangyao asked you to remove it.

[ If Lan Wangji was confused about what was happening before, he's doubly confused now.

Wei Ying has a terrible memory, but even he wouldn't forget that. ]

[Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji a confused look. He reaches up to try and put his hand on the other's forehead to see if he has a fever. He does have to go up on his toes slightly to reach the taller man's head but that's just how it has always been.]

I don't know what this mask is that you are talking about..Mo Xuanyu liked to wear make up but there was never a mask. Are you feeling okay?

[But then he pauses as he looks into Lan Wangji's eyes. Something is definitely different and it's not just a trick of the hotel. His eyes widen very slightly as that confused expression deepens.]

[ Lan Wangji, who assumes Wei Ying is going to touch his headband, dodges and says: ]

What are you doing?

[ Brave words for someone who was just rifling through someone's torso pocket in a public corridor, but hey. ]

We need to figure out what is happening, immediately.

[He lowers himself back down and takes a couple steps back.]

You're not the Lan Wangji I know..Your eyes are different.

[This is a very very weird trick of the hotel. Their memories are different and it is clear that this man has just arrived and has no real knowledge of this place..like the bathroom signs.]

I don't know what is going on...but this is strange.

[It's still Lan Wangji. He knows that deep down into his gut but clearly from a very different place then he knows.]

[ Even as what he says is true, and Lan Wangji has always prided himself on factual truths and not getting emotional over other things, it still stings to be told they're not in each other's history so bluntly. ]

This is ridiculous.

I've had enough of this trick.

[ He turns towards the exit of the bathroom, and storms out. Clouds out? It's not really a storm. ]

Lan Zhan!

[He hurries after him. Even if this isn't the man he knows, he still..knows him. And he can't just let him wander in this place alone and confused.]

Wait! Listen..I've been here awhile. If you aren't careful this place will play tricks on you.

[He latches onto the back of the man's robes as he's done so many times when he's had to hide from Fairy.]

I may not know what is going on but that doesn't mean I'm going to just let you wander around alone.

Edited 2020-05-25 03:25 (UTC)

[ The way he latches on like that, Lan Wangji can only picture him as Wei Ying, the way he always has. It's very disconcerting. ]

How long?

[ That part catches him. ]

How long have you been here?

[ Because Wei Ying is usually so good at escaping places he doesn't want to be, if not situations. ]

It's been about three weeks.

[He lets go and falls into step beside the other man.]

A bunch of us all showed up at once from all over. People from different worlds and times.

[He looks up at him, studying the familiar profile curiously. He can't help but be fascinated by this other Lan Zhan.]

Word of advice! Be careful what you drink and eat. I ended up this big..[He holds up his hands to roughly a foot apart.]

And all I did was drink some weird tea!

[ He crosses his arms over his chest because that already happened. He wasn't that small, but he was pretty small.

Though he looks over to the measurement Wei Ying demonstrates and--

--Oh my god, he was as small as a rabbit.

That's actually kind of adorable but Lan Zhan is just too angry at the situation right now to stop and think about that. ]

You haven't starved for three weeks.

Have you?

[He laughs brightly at the question.]

I was pretty worried about eating any other food..but not everything is unsafe. They do actually want us to live. There is a restaurant and a bar here and so far..no other issues with it. I can show it to you if you are hungry.

I am not.

[ He was merely worried. Can't have Wei Ying trying to subsist on radishes he grows himself again. ]

What have you learned in three weekss?

Catch me up.

Hmm..let's see..

[He's learned a lot but not really a lot at the same time.]

The hotel likes games that mess with your emotions. Apparently it likes to feed off of them or something. It's not necessarily mean spirited but it's like it wants to learn what people will do in certain situations.

Not long ago for instance, the hotel took my sight. I was blind for a few days but the hotel kept moving around so I couldn't see and I had no way of knowing where I was going. It was putting our emotions through a test.

What is its purpose?

[ Feeding off of emotions? To what end?

Seems kind of dangerous to just go along with it. Good thing Lan Wangji is so unflappable. He does not want to be party to this. ]

No one seems to know and the staff are the least helpful people on the planet.

[He reaches out and puts his hand on the other man's arm.]

Mostly we don't think this place wants to hurt us. As odd as that may seem given what it keeps doing. It's like a game or a puzzle that just needs to be solved.

[He smiles, clearly not bothered at all by what the world has done so far. he actually finds the stuff a little amusing and fun.]

You don't have to worry about it so much, Lan Zhan. And the best part? I can be your guide and help you through it. You don't have to deal with it alone.

[ It's just like Wei Ying to have a positive attitude about being kidnapped into an unfamiliar world, and then offer to guide Lan Wangji through it.

This may not be the Wei Ying he knows, but if he's anything like the Wei Ying he does know, then they should both realize that Lan Wangji would, in actuality, follow him to the ends of the Earth.

But what he says is: ]

Understood.

Is there a library?

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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