funnyhearts | TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

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TEST DRIVE MEME 001 (#2)

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

You wake up in a padded box. It rocks, gently, as though suspended in mid-air. You begin to stir, confusion or distress pushing you to try to sit up — and then the air begins to smell sweet, and you fall back asleep.

You wake up in a padded box. For a moment, you are beatifically calm. You don't know how you got here, or why, but that isn't really all that important. You don't need to know where you are. You're just... here. And here is a wonderful place to be.

But there is a niggling suspicion growing in the back of your mind. A suspicion that here is not somewhere you wanted to be. That it is not where you're supposed to be. You remember... chasing a white rabbit (or was it a person)? A mirror? Bright light, and green ivy crawling over your skin... Before you can worry too much, the box jolts, and then settles, and after a long moment the walls fall from around you to reveal —

A hotel lobby?

"Welcome to the Happy Hearts Hotel and Casino," says an attendant behind a desk. "We're so pleased you could join us for our grand opening gala. We have your room keys and Empathies here, please make an orderly line and we'll hand them out once we've confirmed identities. After that, feel free to explore the hotel! We highly recommend starting with the casino. Everyone's a winner here in Happy Hearts!"

Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal. And hey — you could swear you had shoes before!

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

As you pass through the entrance to the casino floor, an attendant passes you a small bag of chips. The casino is loud and bright and filled with games of every kind — you want to play poker? They've got a table for that. Sabacc? There's a table for that, too. Slots, pachinko, and bingo are just a few of the other games on offer. The attendant in the lobby wasn't lying, either — everyone who plays wins. Everyone, every time.

Servers wander the floor with trays of shotglasses full of multi-coloured liquids, offering them to every Oyster "Compliments of Her Royal Highness." If you're expecting alcohol, though, you'll be surprised — these drinks are teas made of the distilled emotions of every Oyster in the hotel. Each colour of tea corresponds to a different emotion, and as soon as you take a sip, you feel overcome with that emotion.

JOY — the distilled essence of happiness, this tea makes even the most rough and tumble of Oysters giddy with happiness — for a moment. The effect fades into a general sense of contentment and affability after a few seconds, and that itself fades away slowly over the course of twenty minutes.

ANGER — this tea, anger in liquid form, can make the most even-tempered of Oysters ready to absolutely blow a gasket. For twenty minutes, anyone who drinks this tea will find themselves much more easily annoyed, frustrated, and all around irritable and snappy.

SADNESS — distilled sadness is a potent tea, capable of turning a stoic, stalwart Oyster into a blubbering mess in moments. Events that may have previously only been a minor disappointment become the end of the world, every repressed unhappiness comes to the fore, and for twenty minutes, any Oyster who drinks a sadness tea can hardly keep themselves together.

II. MAKING WAVES

If gambling isn't to your interest, there are many other areas of the hotel to explore! For the moment, only The Pool Of Tears and the Pig & Pepper Buffet are available for Oysters to peruse, but the staff assure anyone who asks that the other facilities will be open by the next day. Unfortunately, that means no one can buy any swimsuits from This Elegant Thimble, but the staff aren't going to kick anyone out of the pool for jumping in in their clothes!

There are four main attractions to The Pool of Tears: the pool, the jacuzzi, the wave pool, and the lazy river. The water is always just the right temperature, clean and clear and refreshing. It feels as if the sun shines down from above you, warm and comforting. Scattered through the pool area are clusters of modern lounge chairs, just waiting for someone to come relax in them. The Pool is, in a word, serene.

But not for long. The waves generated by the wave pool begin to get choppier, and larger, until it becomes clear that the generator itself is malfunctioning — too late, however, to avoid the tsunami that crashes through the whole Pool and leaves it flooded. Thankfully, no water escapes into the rest of the hotel, and the hotel staff work quickly to rescue those trapped in the Pool and drain the flooding — but you better hope you can tread water until they get to you!

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

The Pig & Pepper buffet serves lunch foods from across all different cultures, offering something for everyone, and some things you've never even heard of.

On offer with these lunchtime dishes are cookies and biscuits and scones of all kinds, held on tiered trays with signs that proclaim Eat Me! in delightfully whimsical calligraphy. Nearby, hotel staff man a small booth for doling out cups of fruit waters from large pitchers, which have Drink Me! painted playfully on their sides.

It takes a while to feel the effects — perhaps you've even left the Pig & Pepper by the time it happens — but those who eat the cookies and scones inevitably end up growing in size, whether a few inches or feet, and those who drank the fruity water similarly shrink. Eat enough and you might strain the ceiling; drink enough and you'll be the size of a thimble! It's not permanent — if no one else can help you figure out how to get back to normal, the staff certainly will — but it's definitely inconvenient!

IV. WELCOME HOME

Maybe you just want to be alone — well, that's what you have your room key for! Oysters room on the second and third floors of the hotel, one to a room. You were assured your room would be exactly what you'd always wished for — and for some, that's right! It's exactly as you would have decorated it yourself. But for others, their rooms are totally wrong. A grizzled cowboy can't have a pink room! Hotel staff are firm, though: every room is exactly as its owner wants it to be. Search your feelings, Oyster. You know it to be true.

On each bed are the Oysters' personal effects, minus weapons, as well as a towel folded in the shape of a heart, and a single foil-wrapped chocolate. If eaten, the chocolate is delicious, and incites a feeling of tender warmth in Oysters — not lust, but a desire for closeness. Why spend time in your room, when you could go find a new friend in the casino?

Welcome to the (second!) first TDM of Happy Hearts, a new panfandom roleplaying game here on DW! If you have any questions, please direct them to the first comment on this page. Happy playing, Oysters!

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ah-" is all he manages as he scrambles out of the water and after Mo Xuanyu. Cursing his rotten luck because of course it would be a cave. It was always a cave! Caves and bad luck seem to follow him like a pack of hungry street dogs after scraps.

He's waterlogged, but quick enough to follow on Xuanyu's heels. He spares a glance behind them just in time to see the wave that's about to tear through the entire area. Wei Wuxian definitely doesn't make an undignified noise as he sprints toward the cave.

"Go, go, go, go!" his voice seems to raise in pitch with each shout. They're so close, but the water is gaining way too fast!

"Find something and hang on!" Because being picked up by water moving that fast and getting slammed into a wall is not a pleasant experience. At least this cave isn't anything like the ones they are used to. Lit up brightly and clearly more decorative then useful, it isn't nearly as scary as Burial Mounds or the one that housed the old turtle. But right now it is all they have and he almost would take those other caves over what is about to hit them.

He knows they can survive this but it is definitely going to be a bumpy ride. He can hear the water crashing down behind them getting closer and then feels it as it slams into his back, sending him forward the rest of the way into the cave and causing him to scramble for anything to latch onto.

While flying through disaster by the seat of his pants is nothing new, it doesn't make it any less harrowing. The water kicks like a mule and sends him careening forward into the cave. He bounces haphazardly off the wall in a swirl of water, and barely has the sense to scrabble for purchase before he's being tugged away again.

He only just manages a hand-hold and clings to the wall like it's his only lifeline. Which, for all he knows, it may very well be. Once he's stable, he whips around to look for Mo Xuanyu. Did he make it? How were they supposed to get out of here?

Having only managed to find a low part of the wall to clutch too, Wei Wuxian is having a hard time. With each wave that rushes into the cave he feels his grip give out a little more. Every effort to climb higher is thwarted by the fact that the wall is now slick and wet. And so he has been taking the brunt of each attack. Remembering these waves from before it's only a matter of time before someone on staff figures out how to turn it off. He simply needs to hold on and hold out for as long as possible.

Between each wave he sucks in as much air as he can so that his time under water is bearable, knowing that if he lets go and gets sucked under that it will be much harder to get back to air. But it's a good thing he is stubborn and he refuses to let water be his downfall. Not when he grew up around it. Not when he spent his life in it.

The force of the waves and the number is becoming less frequent and although he doesn't want to loosen his grip at all, he becomes hopeful. Unable to even lift his head long enough to look and see if the one in his body managed to hold on.

The water is relentless; just when he thinks it's easing up, the next wave is pushing back. What kind of mad place is this, anyway? How ridiculous for him to return to life, only to drown pitiably in some unknown cave!

It was hard to tell if the splashing was the waves or his own pathetic struggle, but he managed to come up for air a couple times between the onslaught of water. It was several minutes before it receded enough to get his feet under him, but once he could shake his tangle of dark hair out of his face, he tried to spot Mo Xuanyu.

"Hey! You still alive?"

He hears the other's voice and relief washes through him like the waves that don't stop. At least he didn't have to explain to any Lan Wangji's that there was another Wei Wuxian death to deal with. Now that the water is calming, and he feels thoroughly water logged, he looks around and spots the other man on the opposite side of the cave.

"Barely.." He feels like he's drank a month's worth of water, but at least he is still breathing. He'll thank Mo Xuanyu's pitiful little golden core for the little extra boost of strength he might have needed to hold on.

Finally feeling like the waves have stopped being harsh enough, he unlatches himself from the wall. The pool area is thoroughly flooded now, and will stay that way until some staff come to fix it. Which means no matter where they go they will be in water. But at least for now it is water he can sit in and not worry about drowning. Which is what he is going to do now as he tries to regain the strength in his limbs.

Wei Wuxian pulls his hair back into a slightly less disheveled mess, his poor red ribbon grown tattered and frayed at the ends, but still clinging to his hair. It takes a few moments to untangle it, but at least it's out of the way now.

Mo Xuanyu's tired voice echoes toward him and he breathes a sigh of relief to hear it, even as the remaining waves lap his legs. The other man has the right idea, a short rest is definitely in order. He doesn't even bother wringing out his trousers, what would be the point?

"Right," he breathes, just glad for a regular supply of air, "that's a thorough enough dunking for both of us, I think."

"Agreed. I'm ready to not be in water..Games are over. Let's just call a truce." He doesn't have the energy for any more. Unfortunately that also means he would have to start telling the truth. Which isn't exactly going to be an easy conversation. But that can wait until he's sure they aren't going to get attacked by water again.

He wonders if the pool only acts so finicky when new people are around. He hasn't heard of any issues with it since he arrived. Of course it would pick today to malfunction again. Now he has to deal with another version of himself and trying to figure out how to explain that mess. He sighs heavily. This has been one of the most confusing and complicated weeks of his life..and that is saying a lot!

"A truce," he agrees grudgingly, the reminder of all the ridiculous things Xuanyu had said about Lan Wangji prickling back into his memory. His body feels too heavy to keep bullying him over it, and all he wants is some dry clothing and maybe a bottle of good wine to help him forget the day.

"So... Mo Xuanyu... huh," he mulled it over, and actually startled when he realized there was a very important he could ask!.

He turned his arm over, seeing the pale remnants of the scars that symbolized the lives of the Mo family, Xuanyu's last request. But one had stubbornly stayed, and-

Odd. The final cut had scarred over, but it was still an angry dark pink, unnatural, unfinished somehow. The last person he was supposed to take revenge on for Mo Xuanyu, and now the wound had healed. Badly, but there was little threat to his spirit for that.

"You must know who I am then?"

What a complicated question that is..."Yeah..I know who you are." He knows more about him then any other human in the world. Even if their memories are not exact, the gist is there.

"I guess I should start with saying that...this body is that of Mo Xuanyu..but the soul inside of it is not. So if you are going to ask me who you are suppose to take revenge out on..your guess is as good as mine." Because it is his..He saw the looking at that arm and he knew what the question was before it was asked. He had the same ones after all.

Just as he opens his mouth to follow up, to ask about the last person he's supposed to go after, Mo Xuanyu... no, not Mo Xuanyu answers it for him.

"W-w-w-w-wait a second," he shakes his head, trying to make sense of things. Why he'd known so much about the Lans, why he could so easily call his bluff, why he didn't know much about Mo Xuanyu at all... it didn't seem at all possible, but...

"This body belonged to Mo Xuanyu," he repeated, hand on his own chest. It'd changed yes, to match the spirit that inhabited it, but...

"HA! Yeah well..you got the better end of this deal. Apparently where I am from, only my soul gets to come back."

Not bitter. But he knows he probably has to prove it by telling the one thing that only he would know. "If you want further proof, I can tell you about the time we gave up our golden core and the multiple days of misery that was."

He really doesn't want to have to go into that detail but just the fact he knows it should be enough.

At any other moment, it would've been a wild speculation, but that wild speculation had, unfortunately, been exactly right. There was definitely an upside to keeping his identity concealed if he had continued to look like Mo Xuanyu, but he can't say he wouldn't miss seeing his own face in the mirror every once in a while.

And if the claim itself wasn't wild enough, he knew about the golden core as well. A secret that should only belong to him and the Wen siblings. He crawled halfway across the cave toward the other, waving and making shushing noises.

"Okay! Alright! Shush- that's-!" he sputters, shaking his head. "How can we both be Wei Wuxian?! A-and why would you bully yourself?!"

Okay, so if the situations were reversed, he absolutely would have done the same thing... but even so!

"Welcome to wonderland." The not so wonderful place. It did have its perks but so far the last few weeks were starting to wear on him.

"So in this place, anything is possible. I never would have believed any of this if I didn't already encounter two Lan Zhans in this world. I'm not going to justify that second question with an answer. Because you already know the answer."

Picking on himself..was the highlight of his day. Even if it did go a little south after awhile. "Honestly..who better to push my buttons then..myself?" Watching the reactions from outside the body is something he never thought he would expect to do. He will say..his original face can make some pretty interesting facial expressions.

Wonderland, huh? To say anything could happen seemed an understatement, given that he was talking to himself after nearly being drowned indoors. If everything else wasn't already so baffling, he'd swear it was just a dream made up of too much wine and spicy food before bed.

"Two Lan Zhans?" he echoed. Was that why that man from before had looked so familiar? There were just enough differences to be sure it wasn't Lan Wangji, but so many similarities it was hard to be certain.

"Yes, yes, who better," he accepted it with a resigned wave of his hand. He would've gotten a kick out of it, if he hadn't been experiencing it. Still, why had he bristled so much at the comments about Lan Wangji? They'd been wildly inaccurate, first of all. And he was pretty sure he wouldn't have thought to joke about flirting with Lan Zhan, of all people, in the first place.

"You picked some creative buttons to push, I'll give you that much. I'd never have thought to make such wild accusations about Hanguang Jun," he laughed.

"Two. One from my time line..and possibly one from yours but it's not something we can really tell just from looking at someone. You kind of have to listen to what they remember. Unfortunately..they look a lot more alike then we do."

Mo Xuanyu being considerably shorter with all his hair up in that high..now very wet..ponytail. And of course a completely different facial and body build. In truth he had it a bit harder when dealing with the people from this Wei Wuxian's world..since he really didn't look like himself anymore.

"Also..not wild accusations. For the record..our memories are not exactly in sync either. But I figured the overall feelings would be. I knew mentioning such things about Lan Wangji would get you riled." He learned a lot from the other Lan Wangji. Their timelines and actions have some pretty spectacular divergences.

"I see..."

Memories seemed to be the worst possible option, given that his felt so jumbled after reviving, but surely it was the same for this version of himself too? He'd heard stories and crazy theories about such things, but he'd dismissed that long ago. Thinking of all the choices he'd made and wondering if one might have led them all down a different path... it was useless to waste time on, no matter how tempting it might be.

And yet... here was proof of it. Could the past be changed? Could there be a world where things had happened differently? Where fewer people he cared about had been hurt?

The thought of Lan Wangji allowing anyone at all in his bed seemed utterly absurd, the man was pure as the snow and twice as fragile when it came to anything even remotely erotic or flirtatious. He couldn't help laughing out loud, nearly falling over at the thought.

"Please! I was only concerned for Hanguang Jun's reputation!"

"That still got you riled, right? You felt the need to protect him so my theory worked." He slowly pushes himself up off the ground and stretches. Now that his towel is lost in the watery abyss, he has no one to get dry. Looks like the hotel gets to deal with some wet tracks through their hallways.

"It seems that regardless of what happens, the ultimate path is still the same. We turn to taboo ways, we die, we come back in.." He looks down at himself then looks over at the other. "Well..somewhat the same."

He puts his hands on his hips and looks around the water covered room. Doesn't look like he will actually get to enjoy the pool anytime soon but he's pretty sure he's had enough water to last him at least a few days.

"I'm ready for a drink..of something not water."

He tried to tell himself that it wasn't quite so. Lan Wangji just... didn't deserve to have his name dragged through the mud. He'd been one of the few people to visit him in the Burial Mounds, and though they'd fought at the Nightless City, he'd still tried to save Wei Wuxian, hadn't he? How his reputation must have been tarnished for that...

"Mm," he nodded his acceptance, even if he didn't like it. He could hardly call his own logic into question.

"The only change is the appearance then?" he puzzled. "I mean, it seems you'd have a much easier time hiding who you are. Even I didn't recognize myself."

Wei Wuxian finds he's once again in agreement with himself though, as the thought of a good drink to help all of this go down easier would be a blessing indeed.

"Or tea," he adds, not wishing to experience that again anytime soon. His lips twist into a crooked smile, "Tell me they still serve decent drink here."

"You would think that..except the people we know are oddly perceptive. Lan Zhan knew almost immediately..and let's just say we get to enjoy a good crack of purple lightning on our back." A certain someone didn't take too kindly to the thought of Wei Wuxian having returned.

"The sad thing is..I didn't realize Lan Zhan knew until after.." He did some pretty shameless things..But all because he was trying to get his ass out of Cloud Recesses. "Well, it doesn't matter. I should have really known he wouldn't have been fooled so easy."

"Don't get me started on the tea...or the cookies. In fact, unless you eat it at the restaurant, avoid consuming anything. Especially in the game area." He starts trudging through the water towards the exit. He would like to somehow get some dry clothes.

"Follow me. There is a shop around here to get some dry clothes. They won't be what you are used to but at least we won't be wet and freezing."

He'd glimpsed Hanguang Jun from a distance, back in Mo Village, and come across him briefly in the forest when he'd met Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng, but luckily, he'd made his escape before things could escalate too far. But he was right, Lan Zhan was more perceptive than most. He's not entirely sure how he'd know, but of the handful of people he didn't want to run into right away, he'd certainly been high on the list for that very reason.

"That or we're not as good at pretending as we thought," he sniffed, then gave a crooked smile. No, that couldn't be it, of course. But ugh, the thought of having purple lightning to look forward to was as unpleasant as it was expected.

"Jiang Cheng seems ready to chase down anyone just for using a couple of papermen," he groans, following the smaller Wei Wuxian.

"Ah-! Wait, wait, so Lan Zhan knew from the start and let us act a fool?" it was worse than he could have thought. Just how long had he played the part of Mo Xuanyu, acting crazy and spouting nonsense before Lan Zhan admitted he'd known?

He made mental note about the food and drink, having experienced one earlier, and had no desire to repeat that anytime soon.

"I've noticed a lot of strange clothing styles... so there's nowhere to find anything like back home?" while some of the clothing looked comfortable, others looked downright strange. He was happy to play along and try something new, either way.

They are definitely terrible actors. As for how he knew..Wei Wuxian is starting to get an idea of how he found out but still can't confirm it. And of course Lan wangji refuses to tell him outright.

"Yeah..and he's every bit as pissed off as he was all those years ago." His back aches just thinking about it. "Oh..and be prepared. Jin Ling has a dog." The shudder is obvious as it runs straight down his spine.

Oh the things he did...act a fool is putting it lightly. "I don't know how long he lets you believe your act was good but for me it was a pretty long time. I thought for sure by playing off the fact Mo Xuanyu was gay that I would be able to get kicked out of Cloud Recesses." Oh the regrets...

"I'm assuming Mo Xuanyu was gay in your world too." He stops and realizes that it might not be the case. He slowly turns to look at the other. He'll have to answer the clothing question later.

He let out a groan. Of course, Jiang Cheng never forgot a slight, and Wei Wuxian had wronged him in the worst of ways. It was only a wonder this other Wei Wuxian had felt the sting of purple lightning and Jiang Cheng's anger and still survived. At least there was hope for him, he supposed.

"Even Jin Ling has a dog?" he winced. He'd thought purple lightning would be a problem, but a dog now too? Did nothing good happen after he'd revived? Or was it all just a string of bad luck?

As if that weren't enough to wrap his mind around, there was the added bit about Mo Xuanyu he hadn't known. If that were true... certainly someone would've mentioned it to him by now? He'd known Mu Xuanyu was thought to be mentally ill, that his family had been disappointed in him, bullied him to the point he'd thought the Xianshe was a good idea.

His mouth starts to form an 'o' of understanding as a few things begin to fall into place, namely how this Wei Wuxian had such knowledge of Hanguang Jun's sleeping habits, details even he wasn't aware of. And it makes sense... it's not like the Mo family would be forthcoming about it, but also... wouldn't Mo Ziyuan have taken every opportunity to bully him and hurl insults if that were the case?

"That... I don't know," he crossed his arms, trying to think if he'd missed some detail, but he was sure he would have caught it, especially if it were a well-known fact, as the other Wuxian said.

"I played the fool, true enough, but no one mentioned anything about Mo Xuanyu's preferences," he explained, "there was barely anything to piece together from what was left of his room."

He put a hand to his face though, feeling as if he would regret asking, "I... just what did you do?"

Wei Wuxian looks at his soul twin in horror. How did that one get lucky enough to keep his body AND not have to deal with the fact that the body he occupied was...okay so maybe the two things went hand in hand. For him those facts had been made pretty clear almost as soon as the first kick was felt by his side upon waking up.

"heh..well..where I am from he was gay and being cast off and shunned by his family is what made him crazy. Sooo..you would have known." Just his luck.

As for the question, he resumes trudging through the water. "I'm going to need a drink before we dive into that if you really do want to know how shameless we are."

He pauses at the exit and talks to the staff that are already trying to keep the water from drenching the whole area. He indicates the one behind him had some clothing that got washed away in the waves and asks that they be found and taken to his room when they get a chance. He smiles and talks with each of them briefly before waving as he heads down the hall towards the shop. He has made every effort to meet all of the staff in the hopes that eventually it might lead to information about this place. So far they aren't terribly forthcoming but it doesn't hurt to have a few allies in a strange place.

The look of abject horror was enough to worry him, even if he was wary of his own tricks after that first bit of teasing. Just how badly off had this other version of himself been? Just what had he done?

"Mmm," he agreed, "I know he was cast out from Jinlin Tower, but it seemed to have more to do with his lacking cultivation skills... but I don't think his family needed much reason to treat him so terribly."

He doesn't have to try hard to imagine the depths they might have sunk to. After all, if he were trying to play the part of Mo Xuanyu, knowing that, trying to get himself kicked out of Cloud Recesses...

Wei Wuxian gives a short nod in understanding and follows along to the shop. He nods politely in the right places, of course, knowing just how useful local information can be.

HAPPY HEARTS HOTEL

I. THE CASINO FLOOR

II. MAKING WAVES

III. EAT ME, DRINK ME

IV. WELCOME HOME

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